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The Top 3 MAJOR MISTAKES People Make When Using Affirmations…

19 October 2010 One Comment


So I had this business consultation yesterday afternoon, and when I mentioned I provide guided meditation and affirmation programs through my site, the guy told me:

business consultation affirmations for success“Oh yeah? That’s funny – I read a statistic the other day that said most people who use affirmations are more depressed then the average person…

And you know what? He’s probably right: most people who try to do this affirmation thing probably are more depressed, because THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY’RE DOING.

———— Let Me Ask You Something ————

Think about it: what happens to most businesses within their first years of operation? They completely and utterly FAIL, right? (I think the statistic is something like 95%.) Does that mean starting your own business is a bad idea???

And what’s happening to marriages in this day and age? DIVORCE, right? (Last time I checked, the statistic was near 50% and rising). But don’t people still seem to be “tying the knot” like nobodies’ business???

couple arguing, affirmations for love

I don’t mean to get grim here, but we need to drive this point home – most people living right now aren’t even happy to be alive. Someone who’s actually, authentically joyful and content IS THE EXCEPTION, not the norm…

The bottom line is this: when it comes to doing anything valuable or constructive, most people have no idea how to do it right. (I’m emphasizing this because it’s an important point to remember.)

affirmations for healing depressionSo when it comes to affirmations, OF COURSE most people using them are unsuccessful with it, because they have no idea how to use them correctly. So that consultation guy motivated me to put this together. Here it goes:

———— The Top 3 Mistakes People Make w/ Affirmations ————

To be clear, affirmations are “I” statements you use change your thoughts at the deeper level, in order to EFFORTLESSLY change your thoughts, feelings and behavior at the normal level…

Here’s a few examples:

affirmations for young black people>> “I’ve let go of settling for less than the best I can be…”
>> “I am an action-oriented person…”
>> “The days of being overly self-critical are gone forever…”

Get the idea??? Affirmations are used to help you build a self-image more congruent with the ideal “you” you want to become.

You repeat them to yourself or journal them out when you first wake up, right before you go to sleep, whenever you meditate or any other time you’re relaxing because that’s when you’re the most receptive.

great affirmations to use daily

So here’s the most common mistakes I find people making ALL THE TIME:

Mistake #1: Being Unrealistic or “Too Positive…”

If you feel like a loser, saying “I’m a winner, I’m a winner, I’m a winner…” is NOT going to work, cause if you’re in a bad mood, you won’t feel like doing it, and even if you’re in an okay mood, just saying that’ll make you more aware of how you actually feel…

affirmations for weight lossLikewise, if you’re 200 pounds overweight, saying “I have a slim and healthy body…” just isn’t going to cut it, because you’ll know you’re lying to yourself.

Instead, someone who feels like failure should try statements like “I forgive myself for not getting things done…” and someone with with a weight concern might try, “I know and believe in the value of being a healthy person…”

This is why the audio program I mentioned earlier uses both “affirming” and “releasing” statements: some affirmations focus on moving you away from where you presently are, and others toward where you want to be.

affirmations for self-loveSome key phrases to use are:

>> “I forgive myself for…”
>> “I’ve now let go of…”
>> “It’s okay for me to…”

The key here is to go at your own pace. You know where you’re at, so take your time to gradually nudge yourself in the right direction.

Mistake #2: Being Too Verbose or Not Hitting the Point…

I remember back in the day, I was on this e-mail newsletter for Sovereignty (Law and Civics lessons, basically) and they sent out an affirmation list called “Cosmic Trigger” with statements like:


wizard magic metaphysics cool image

Now c’mon…I’m not here to knock anybody’s spirituality, but to me, that’s basically ASKING for “more depression then the average person” right there…

Remember that (1) affirmations are meant to teach healthy thinking as a habit and (2) that our mental habits are all SUB-conscious.

affirmations for black women self-imageYou’re basically re-patterning something that happens below your awareness. When affirmations work, you to change how you think feel and act AUTOMATICALLY because how you think, feel and act is governed by subconscious processes…things like self-image, beliefs, perception and habits of thought.

Now here’s the secret: your subconscious mind IS NOT concerned with stars and galaxies…it’s concerned with your fears, pains and frustrations.

Your subconscious mind doesn’t think “I’m a star-seed child,” it thinks:

affirmations for self-image black men>> I’ll always be poor…
>> Women always reject me…
>> I have no self-control with food…

…and so on. In short, it’s the hidden self-limiting beliefs that affect you in a direct and emotional way. It’s the stuff that makes you think, “How am I going to make rent on time?,” “Is my girlfriend going to dump me?” or “Will I ever have a healthy body again???”

Therefore, affirmations tend to work best when they’re focused on dissolving anxiety, gaining freedom from depression, building real self-esteem, releasing your fear of failure or developing unstoppable motivation. Those are really the key areas…

Here’s some more examples:

self  image work for young african americans affirmations>> “I transcend all jealousy of those who have more then I do…”
>> “I alone am responsible for both my failures and success…”
>> “It’s easy and natural for me to keep mistakes in proper perspective…”
>> “Life isn’t always fair, so I don’t expect it to be…”
>> “I believe in tending to situations before they become problems…”

To be honest, you have to understand a bit of your own psychology before you can craft the really effective ones: you need to know what you fear specifically so you can address specifically, and you need to know how other (successful) people think about it so you can learn that too.

Also, another related problem people have is being too wordy. Simply put, when it comes to the subconscious, less is more, so omit all needless words.

This is not where you show off your skills and get mega-deep. It’s where you come to understand your real frustrations and address them directly….

affirmation resources for writers

Mistake #3: Not speaking with EMOTION…

Adding-on to that last point, you can see how the subconscious deals with emotions, not logic. So if you want your affirmations to work, you have to speak to it on an emotional level.

affirmation skills for everyone...Emotions are what drive us: Emotions are what makes things real and what gets us involved. Emotions make movies, books and people interesting, and emotions make affirmations actually believable…

So say them like you mean them. Say them like they’re values and convictions that you actually hold and watch them become values and convictions that you actually hold.

Thanks for checking this out. For a free manual I put together on affirmations (with an in-depth method, sample affirmations and more) download this.

To check out that guided audio program, click here.. Don’t worry, you don’t need to know a thing about affirmations to use these correctly.

think right now girl listening

You won’t need to risk a thing either, because everything they have comes with a full 6-month, hassle-free, money-back guarantee. Like I said before, this is the #1 tool I use DAILY to stay motivated, disciplined, focused and ON-POINT. Do yourself a favor a take a second to check it out now…


>> Think Right Now Intl. (Thought & Behavior Modification)
>> Download the Affirmations Manual…
>> A great Blog Talk Radio show on Emotional Wellbeing…
>> & check out the latest from Today’s Transcendence

One Comment »

  • Sepia Prince said:

    This piece here is a classic as it transcends ‘time’ because we make a lot of mistakes with affirmations. I know I got some tips from this one, namely the time of day in which I write or say mine. Thanks, +B.

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