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BE A MAN OF YOUR OWN MAKING: Self-Direction, Self-Definition & Self-Empowerment in an AGE of Complacency, Mediocrity & Fear

3 August 2011 2 Comments

asian man drinking coffee

Just the other day, I got a text from a good friend of mine – a guy I went to school with – that said: “I’m glad I got this new apartment, and I guess I’m doing alright, but at 30 I feel like I should have a lot more to show for myself…”

That struck me as interesting, cause I live in NY now (he’s still in VA where I went to school), and here in the city, if you have an apartment at 30 that’s not a big deal.

It’s the same thing with not having a car, so his point made me think a lot about how everything is perception and works in context.

Being a Man of Your Own Making

african american couple in fieldSo what I want to talk about here is establishing – and maintaining – a context FOR YOURSELF and your own direction in life.

Specifically, just like a small apartment may be a lot or a little depending on where you live, a small amount of progress can also mean a lot or a little depending on how you relate to it.

“Doing the Knowledge” and staying focused requires you having your own sense of vision, your own sense of meaning and your own sense of direction, regardless of whether or not the people around you think that that’s a good idea. (See “You’re Unique, So the FIRST Thing You Have to Do is Accept That You Won’t Be Accepted.)



Completely give up their dreams for:

>> a little bit of money,

>> a little bit of acceptance, or

>> a little bit of conditional love…

…only to LOSE their edge, LOSE their opportunity and LOSE their ability to get the satisfaction out of life they knew they could have otherwise obtained.

Heck, one time I had a girlfriend come out and ask me verbatim to choose between her and my work here with site (cause this thing takes a lot of time and energy), and I told her straight up, with the quickness, “I choose my work…while my work isn’t more important then you are as a human being, it’s more important to me then THE RELATIONSHIP I have with you.”

…and that was one of the most liberating moments of my entire life.

Remember, you can never own anybody like you own your purpose here on earth, and that NO amount of money can replace the self-esteem and justful pride that comes making your vision a reality.

Learn from Aesop’s Fables

aesop's fable coverRemember “Aesop’s Fables”? That collection of short stories about animals displaying wisdom (“The Turtoise and the Hare,” etc.)

There’s this particular one about a wolf and a dog who meet in a wild forest, where the dog says to the wolf:

“Hey man, you actually live out here???”

“Yeah…it’s pretty rough, but I manage. It’s going to be a cold winter, so I’m just preparing for it now…staking the territory, etc.” says the Wolf.

“Wolf, I got an idea…you should come back with me! I got plenty of food, warm shelter, and I can even shower every few days or so!!!”

“Really. Aite bet…I’ll come check you out.”

But when they finally get there, the wolf realizes that the dog has a Master, and when he sees the dog getting chained to the fence, he starts running for his life.

So the dog goes, “Hey! Where you going!?”

And the wolf replies with something deep like, “I’d rather be liberated and starve then overfed and ENSLAVED…”

wolf in forest

So again, stay true to your own drive, and don’t renounce your ambitions simply because you’re not YET as successful as you want to be.



  • Sepia Prince said:

    I second this message, wholeheartedly. In addition, assertiveness is a key element, if not, the main one that drives a man making his own pathway. Serious piece…

  • Bryan Ogilvie (author) said:

    Yeah, man. Much thanks for the love…I swear, sometimes I’ll think a post is MEGA-deep and powerful, only to find out the response was nowhere near as heavy as I thought it could of been. I’m working on it.

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