Ego Tripping: How, When & Why “Feeling Yourself” Can Actually Be a GOOD THING…
Had an interesting discussion with a friend on Skype the other day. Check it:
(Harmonics: the instrumental to “Slippin” by DMX…)
Me: “So go ahead and shoot, but please nothing boring…if I had a quarter for every lame, straight-out-of-essence-magazine question I get asked ;)”
Me: “Oh it’s real good – we do the naughty everyday…
Alright, seriously Queen:
My ego is a tool like my physical frame…it needs to be kept healthy and developed.
The way I see it, once the ego is in order (i.e: self-esteem is high), that streamlines the process of a productive life, healthy relationships and self-knowledge in the spiritual sense
Does that answer your question? (I wasn’t too sure what you meant exactly, so I just ran with my first thought) I meant to ask you something similar actually…”
And here’s something from one of my current scrolls, Norvell’s Dynamic Mental Laws of Successful Living, called “Your Ego Determines Your Drive“:
“Even your ego has two opposing forces: those of low value or high value; a feeling of importance or unimportance, and your Ego determines your drive and the direction in which your decisions are made in the future.
If you have been trained and educated to believe that you’re important, that you’ll become successful and that you have a magnetic and charming personality, then your Ego will have a drive in the direction of success. However, if you have lacked education or training of this higher sort, if you were born in a poor family that had no advantages of comfort or luxury, if you were told over and over when you were a child that you were no good or that you would never amount to anything and that you would be poor all your life, then it’s possible that your Ego-drive will be in the direction of failure, unhappiness and poverty all your life as well…” ~ Anthony Norvell
———— From My Own Work ————
and lastly, here’s something from my upcoming book, Doing the Knowledge: Ascending into Action:
“Don’t think of what we’re building on here as traditional ‘self-improvement.’ Instead, look at it as ‘Ego Exercise‘ or better yet, ‘Character Conditioning.’
Just as physical conditioning develops your vitality and body-form; character conditioning develops your personality and self-image…it’s the same principle applied to an alternate plane: with a strong, healthy, and well- conditioned self-image, you’ll carry life out with finesse – you’ll take on the challenges life projects at you as if it’s a walk in the park.
If you think about it, terms like ‘self-improvement’ and ‘self-development’ are really misnomers, because the True Self – the spiritual being that you really are – comes from an Eternal Source..so in what ways can this Eternal Self ever be improved or developed???)
Still however, your levels of persistence, personal integrity, vision, kindness, humility, emotional intelligence, humor, knowledge, patience and forgiveness (towards both yourself and others) can all be improved and developed, and likewise, your self-talk – the internal dialogue which dictates all these things – can be improved and developed as well.
Remember, regardless of the circumstances contained in your present, and regardless of the history contained in your past, YOU control the destination contained in your future.
In your life, you’re the sole-controller, so free yourself from what happened and start taking charge of what IS happening. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, so clean the slate mentally and start building something right and exact in the here and now.
After all, the ‘you’ that you dislike is not even the real you anyway – it’s only a garment that holds your essential spirit, and just like the wardrobe in your closet can change, so too can the character which adorns your soul…”
(That was all from a section called “Self-Worth vs. Success:
3 Steps to Liberation,” which you can download and read in full here.)
I call this positive growth “ego exercise” because that’s what’s actually happening: you’re “ego” is exercising and developing in a positive direction…
To be clear, I think the ego is a healthy thing, and I don’t think you should try to “transcend” it (as in, try to operate without it at all) for any extended period of time. Instead, you should learn to integrate more spiritual concepts INTO your personality as you face life’s challenges.
Some of those more spiritual concepts to incorporate include what I call:
>> Fundamental Intimacy: A pervasive feeling of love, compassion, empathy and consideration for everyone around you (“just cuz”), and
>> Embracing Death: Being at one with the idea of your own mortality (like the ancient Japanese Samurai were) and living in the present moment at all times…
Unless you plan to go live on top of a mountain somewhere, realize that a healthy ego is a healthy thing, because success in this world (in your work, career, family, close relationships etc.) requires it, and the results it creates are your birthright.
This is why most of the posts here at Today’s Transcendence have to do with self-worth, NOT mystical or philosophical truth. Don’t get me wrong, I’m mad philosophical myself, but I’ve learned that none of that stuff really helps long term UNLESS you really love who you are in a simple, fundamental way.
While it’s easy to mouth off new-age jargon (and sound deep enough to even deceive yourself), the real work is handling your psychological issues and going through a serious process of emotional healing.
So if anyone ever accuses you of being overly confident, arrogant or anything else along those lines as a result of you doing this work, but you know that you’re heart is in the right place (i.e: you know you’re not better than anyone else and you only want the best for other people), don’t sweat it.
In fact, chances are that their confidence isn’t too high and you just make them more aware of it, so don’t let that stop you from doing you…
I’m not saying that you should be inconsiderate or rigid to constructive feedback; only that as you grow along the lines of what we build on here, you’ll find yourself liking yourself a lot more. This’ll show to others who might not be at that place yet, so you can expect to eventually get challenged on it.
Think about it like this: most of the subconscious beliefs we’re conditioned to have about our ego (symbolized by popular phrases like “ego tripping,” “she swears she’s all that,” “he’s feeling himself,” etc.) ARE ACTUALLY INHIBITING YOU FROM DEVELOPING YOUR OWN SELF-WORTH; from gaining the self-love, self-confidence and other personality traits essential to your own success…
After all, if you don’t like yourself, who will? If you don’t feel good about being in your own reality, how can anybody else???
Just a thought…
>> More excerpts from my upcoming book…
>> Embracing Death: A Samurai’s Mentality
>> When Food is Love: The Deeper Psychology Behind Compulsive Eating
>> Random Thoughts on Being Your Authentic Self
>> You’re Unique, So the First Thing You Have To Do Is Accept That You Won’t Be Accepted