Today's Transcendence

The Book, ‘How To Conquer Yourself,’ Now Complete…

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 15:23:39 +0000

The book, How to Conquer Yourself: Discipline & Willpower for the Conscious, Creative Thinker, is now complete. In a few short days, I’ll have a link to buy physical copies and, not long after, an audio book version will be available for download as well. Here’s the cover graphic:

If you’ve already ordered Conquer Yourself, check your e-mail inbox (including spam or junk folders) for the initial eBook file, and give it about a week before a physical copy is sent to you.

If you haven’t already ordered…

How to Conquer Yourself:

>> Enjoy a free excerpt and preview some of it here, or

>> Watch a video-tutorial showcasing some of its contents here:

>> Order the book by clicking here or

>> Pre-order the audio-book version of it here

And for any questions, comments or concerns, feel free to email me, bryan@dotheknowledge.com, or simply call direct at 718.577.1344

Peace,
+B

Welcome to Today’s Transcendence (Introduction and Overview)

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 17:01:02 +0000

I’m on the verge of releasing my very first book, so in order to finish everything on time, I’m giving the daily blogging thing a break. This’ll help me to meet writing deadlines, restructure the site for 2012 and take time out to unplug, reflect and ultimately come back stronger.

(If you’ve been with me for awhile this is nothing new, really. I take a small vacation like this around the same time every year, so not to worry.)

But even though I’m on “blogging-leave”, that doesn’t mean I’m not “here.” Help yourself to a free consultation with me, and – especially if this is you’re first time here – enjoy the extended, best-of section featuring some of my most well-received work: 33 full articles, detailed reports, in-depth videos, audio podcasts and more…all to help you get focused, all at your convenience and ALL AT NO COST to you.

Again, I’m on temporary leave, but that’s just to finish the book. You’re always welcome to contact me for any questions, concerns or consultation needs, enjoy the work I’m best known for and sign-up for the email newsletter below to preview the book and stay updated on everything happening.

Peace,
+B

Get your hands on 2 full chapters from my upcoming book,
Doing The Knowledge: Ascending Into Action, FOR FREE:

How to Handle ‘Digital Distractions,’ PART TWO: The Top 3 Ways to NOT Waste Time When In Front of Your Laptop…

Bryan Ogilvie — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 17:01:22 +0000

“Digital distraction” is a big problem these days, partly because we live in a hyper-communicative world where cell phones, email and social networking has conditioned most of us to be OVER-accessible, and thus, constantly distracted and interrupted from what generates profit and builds long-term success.

We covered a strategy for that yesterday though…the other part of digital distraction (its more insidious side) is that the tools we now use to work are inherently PREDISPOSED to distraction and interruption as well…so even when no one’s around, the technology itself encourages (and facilitates) the *squandering* of time and attention, which just happen to be your two most valuable resources if you work with information, media and your mind.

So it’s a double-edged Moorish-scimitar: if other people are your problem (“external digital disruption”) read yesterday’s piece, but if you yourself are your problem (“internal digital disruption”), read on young Skywalker…

Technique #1: Use Organized, Targeted Bookmarks

As simple as it sounds, first create a bookmark system for yourself that’s completely ORGANIZED (not just a crazy-large folder of “cool” websites you haven’t looked at in years). Create one set of bookmarks in a folder called “work,” another in “school,” another in “bills” and so on.

Second – and most importantly – make sure the bookmarks link DIRECTLY to the act they’re associated with, because the main way we’re distracted online is by ads, headlines and other shiny objects on our way to a specific task.

Use bookmarks like a direct teleport-system to the places you need to go *precisely* (not general areas). This’ll save time, but also circumvent most of the distractions that would’ve came up along the way.

For example, in “How to Make Facebook Productive” I talked about bookmarking your facebook profile page, instead of the super-active homescreen with the Times-Square newsfeed effect. THIS WILL WORK WONDERS FOR YOU…just trust me and check out that post out for more details.

Technique #2: Turn the Internet OFF

I remember moving out of my old apartment, spending a day with my roommate to get all the utilities transferred to his name and coming back home that day to find the internet completely shut off, AFTER the company specifically told me they wouldn’t regardless of the transfer. (Note: “Cox” Communications IS NOT your friend in the digital age.)

Needless, to say, I was heated (I planned to put a new blog post up when I got back or something), but in a few minutes, I calmed down and woo-sah’d myself enough to realize the only thing left to do was write my book.

Take a second to think about this: most of your real work DOES NOT require the net, and was accomplished (in some form or fashion) for at least the last few centuries without it. So in a lot of cases, if you simply turn off your connection (or set up a circumstance where you can’t access it), you’ll find there’s nothing else to do but work.

Technique #3: Associate Devices w/ Specific Purposes

Next year, I plan to get one of those sleek tablets that keep coming out, because I don’t want to use my main work-computer for entertainment purposes anymore.

The idea here is to slowly condition yourself to associate specific taks with specific machines, because your unconscious mind will eventually learn to delineate between each one and automatically put you into a certain “zone” as soon as you pick the device up.

Try writing the next time you’re laying in bed (as opposed to sitting at a desk) and see how long you go without sleep. Try talking on the phone next time you’re standing in front of the fridge (as opposed a living-room type area) and see how long you go without stuffing your face.

It’s the same idea here, just the digital parallel to it: your subconscious mind orients your moods, psychological states and actions based on conditioning, so if you use a specific machine only for work, you’ll Pavlov-dog yourself towards more productivity over time, simply by picking it up or sitting in front of it.

If you’re not in a position to “cop gadgets” like that right now, try the going into different rooms (or places) thing just mentioned. You’ll find it having a good, effortless effect on you.

That’s all for now, so remember: we live in a techno-cratic age where constant digital distraction is THE NORM…most people simply aren’t familiar with what actual productivity looks and feels like anymore, so you need to consciously work against that social dynamic.

Prevent the external distractions (bothersome people) by simply trafficking correspondence to specific, predetermined times of day, and prevent internal distractions (you disrupting yourself) by circumventing the subtle dynamics that encourage it.

Use organized, targeted bookmarks to teleport yourself directly to the important tasks and, from time to time, outcast yourself from digital society so you’ll have NO CHOICE but to work. After that, start using your devices exclusively and you’ll end up associating them with their respective purposes and states of mind.

Hope this helps. Leave a brother a comment or something below: what’s your favorite of the three? Any technique of your own you’d like to add on???

Peace,
+B

How to Eliminate Digital Distractions, pt.1: Handling People’s CONSTANT Interruptions & Demands for Your Attention…

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 17:01:12 +0000

The other day I put up a facebook status that read, “You train people how to behave when they’re around you, and you teach people what expectations to have OF you, regardless of whether you’re conscious to the process or not.”

And what I mean by that is most of the rules that govern our relationships are formed in unconscious and subtle ways…

So if we don’t take time to learn what these ways are and then consciously set up strategies for how to deal with them, we’ll constantly find ourselves in relationships that:

>> drain our energy and leave us feeling exhausted,

>> perpetuate a cycle of being used and manipulated,

>> INHIBIT our ability to set and achieve personal goals,

…and (as you already know from experience) A LOT more. For example:

If you start seeing someone romantically, they start leaving articles of clothing and other trinkets around your apartment, and *YOU* don’t challenge them on this, the subconscious rule being formed is “My place is here for you to (eventually) start using however you please.”

If you start working on a project for someone, they start asking pointless questions and inquiries by sending you emails and text messages all times of day, and *YOU* reply to them 5 seconds later each and every time, the subconscious rule being formed is, “You can bother me at any given time of day – as soon as you get the whim, really – and expect an immediate response.”

Basically, we establish “unspoken agreements” based on how we respond to relatively subtle interactions, and since this is happening ALL THE TIME, do your best to stay sharp and as “conscious to the process” as you can.

Here’s my strategy for dealing with second one…

Set Up “Response Periods”

One way I’ve address this (based on a time-management guru’s advice) is by having deliberate, pre-determined times for both project-related and business correspondence…I “train” people, from early on, by only communicating with them during “response periods” that work for me.

Instead of answering and return emails, phone calls and texts “as soon as you get a free second,” try responding proactively: only during a predefined time that you know will work for you, and be consistent.

Again, if you start to work for (or with) somebody and you respond to each of their bothersome concerns AS SOON as they send them to you, you’re creating a leash for overwhelming demands and interruptions. You’re conditioning them to believe that you’re available at all times of the day, any time of the day.

So instead, always respond to business correspondence like this during specific 1-hour or 2-hour periods that work for you, because it sets up an understanding and a boundary that people will respect.

If this feels manipulative or too unyielding , remember it’s something you’ll NEED to grow and accomplish more. As you begin to leverage higher amounts of demands and greater amounts of work, you’ll find there’s no end to how much people can ask of you (trust me). Listen to this:
Download audio file (e-mail.mp3)

So again, simply traffic your distractions: set aside specific windows to respond to all project and work-correspondence, and people will get the picture themselves…

Peace,
+B

Great Tools for Creating AMAZING Online Content People are Magnetically Drawn To, EASILY (Updated Version)

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 17:01:10 +0000

Awhile back (maybe more then a year ago) I released a post called “Free Internet Tools and Resources to Enhance Your Online Presence” that got a great response, but – like all things – a lot has changed since then…

So just in case you’re interested in doing anything along the same lines as I am (creating and publishing information online), here’s some of my favorite tools, programs, websites and more.

iWork 09 for Mac

THIS IS THE BIG ONE…my most significant change since the early days is my switch from normal, free Windows program (something called “Open-Office”) to a more upscaled, Mac program called “iWork 09″, which is Apple’s response to Microsoft’s Word, Powerpoint and Excel.

Great pdf exercises, like the one for managing time or this one on the three key areas of self-development were both done EASILY with their “Word” software, “Pages”

Other exercises, like this one for monitoring your diet, was done nearly EFFORTLESSLY with their “Excel” software, “Numbers”

And DOPE powerpoint-tutorial videos, like this one on managing time, were done with their “Powerpoint” software, “Keynote”

So again – as you can see – iWork ’09 is THE BUSINESS, and well worth the investment…especially since you can get it for less than HALF of what I initially paid, HERE.

Image Source

Secondly, almost ALL of the images you see me use (and the silent video clips at the beginning of videos like this), come from a great website called ImageSource.com. I know you already have an idea, but just for fun, take a look at these…

Again, check out ImageSource.com for more…

Actual Tools

This is where I still need a bit of an upgrade myself, but for video, I use a Flip Mino (not even the HD one yet), and, to record notes to myself, I use one of Olympus’s digital voice recorders, which is great for getting interviews or notes down when you only have a split second.

I guess that’s good enough for now…just remember that if you want to excel at anything, get the best tools and the most up to date material…for me, this includes programs like iWork ’09, websites like ImageSource.com and recording equipment (I know I’m slacking here) like the FlipMino HD, etc.

Peace,
+B

BASIC EXERCISE: A Simple, Foolproof Method for Staying In Shape w/ Little Effort on Your Part…

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 17:01:08 +0000

Another key element to staying focused is having ENERGY, and one of the best ways to maintain your energy throughout the day (and over time) is to EXERCISE…

Good exercise keeps you mentally alert, boosts sexual self-esteem and improves bodily function (among other things), so I’m sure it’s somewhere on your priority list, and since I noticed myself slipping for the last few weeks (I get lazier when it gets cold), I thought I’d motivate both of us by blogging about it.

Now don’t get me wrong: I’m no body-builder – I don’t like to go to the gym, lift tons of super-human weights and get all sweaty, because it’s not really my style – but here’s a slight insight that helped me get back into my own routine, which is more lightweight and, again, more conducive to RAISING ENERGY than anything else.

Work Your Body In Miniature Segments

What I mean by this is that I simply do a light exercise for every hour I’m home, and a light stretch or some movement for every hour when I’m at work…

Basically, every hour, I’ll either do some pushups, sit ups, jumping jacks or WHATEVER (if you have an iron gym thing this is great) just to keep myself moving.

What you’ll find is, similar to that post on being a scientist, that it’s A LOT easier to motivate yourself to do something small (and almost insignificant) then it is to do something large, but that small thing builds a momentum of its own.

Here’s an example of some of my favorite things:

Obviously, this is more male-oriented, but besides this and the basic push-ups, sit-ups etc., I also do a little “Freestyle Tai Chi” in the morning (hence the cool image above). Just do a quick youtube search for “good workouts for ___” (insert choice) and you’ll get a tone of great examples.

So simply put, if you want to get started exercising again, use the same approach described in the post How to Think Like a Scientist: start in light increments that don’t feel too demanding, and watch yourself pick up momentum from there.

Take care and let me know how it goes.

Peace,
+B

MENTAL CLARITY: Top 3 Musical Choices for Focus, Concentration & the Alert Relaxation Your Productivity NEEDS.

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 17:00:58 +0000

As you know, one of the keys to staying focused is to eliminate distraction, but what’s interesting is that your biggest source of distraction may be your very own mind.

I talked about this in my first blog talk radio show, “Tools for Calm Focus, Mental Clarity & Relaxation” and also in the post about clutter: that mental clarity is the soil in which focus and concentration naturally cultivated themselves.

If you usually find yourself worried, anxious, conflicted, confused or anything else along those lines, that “mind-friction” will continuously UNDERMINE your ability to recall information, think creatively and even hone in on a particular task…all basics when it come to working effectively.

That being said, one of my favorite ways to attain mental clarity is to use relaxing music, so today I’ll share with you some of the tunes I listen to to stay focused and alert. Check it out:

So What Type of Music Do I Use???

For starters, try songs by Japanese Composer Yasunori Mitsuda

English Instrumentalist Paul Collier

or Dubstep artist Phaeleh

If you try the soundtrack to movies like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon anything on Youtube under a search for “Meditation Music” etc, you’ll be well on your way. (Don’t forget to use SnipMP3.com to download the audio to anything good you find.)

Again, the right music works great to put you in an alert but relaxed and clear state of mind more conducive to creating ideas, remembering information and simply learning itself, so make it a routine to listen to a couple of tracks like these daily. It’ll help you to stay focused, in tune and emotionally healthy.

To enjoy more great tips and techniques for getting a state of calm, alert and powerful focus, see the original blog talk radio show.

Peace,
+B

A 3-Point Formula for Building SELF-DISCIPLINE…

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 17:01:05 +0000

Here’s a couple of classic videos I did on self-discipline back in the Summer of 2010. Enjoy, and look forward to more great videos on self-discipline, time-management and staying focused in the near future…

A 3-Point Formula for Building Self-Discipline

Oh yeah, and don’t forget too…SUBSCRIBE

Peace,
+B

Should You Really Be THAT Persistent??? Isn’t There a Limit To ‘Never Giving Up’???

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 17:00:49 +0000

Here’s an excerpt from an old Q&A session of mine (through email), discussing dedication, persistence and knowing how and when to use it, and it’s one of the best questions I’ve ever been asked actually…If you’re not already on the weekly email newsletter (to get free updates, tips and techniques, and more), use the yellow sign-up form on the right to join.

Should You Really Be THAT Persistent???

“…perhaps you could elaborate on that statement about never giving up. While there’s a lot to be said about tenacity of spirit and never giving up on your dreams, there’s a fine line there too…

Remember that saying ‘Don’t flog a dead horse?’ I think sometimes it’s necessary to ‘give up’ on something or someone as a continual investment of your valuable resources or you’ll end up draining yourself dry.

Take for example….a wall street investor continuing to pour good money into a losing stock until they’re wiped out, or the gambling addict who just HAS to put that next dollar into the slot machine. Or trying to influence a heroin addict to quit and going about all manner of effort to that end only to have the person continue using, or being deeply and passionately in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way (‘unrequited love.’)

At some point you can’t continue trying to pound a square peg into a round hole.

Anyway….food for thought. Perhaps you’d like to expound upon this subject and provide some of your personal insight/experience/wisdom. I’d love to hear what you have to say on this subject.

Thanks Bryan.”

My Response

“Identify with your purpose, but be flexible in your approach…

Identify with the REASON you have a particular goal (usually for an emotional state or personal conviction) and focus on that when a particular plan isn’t working.

Napolean Hill (in his book Think & Grow Rich) has a concept called ‘Creative Persistence,’ and Robert Greene (in The 48 Laws of Power) ‘Assuming Formlessness,’ both of which apply.

Where the goal is to start a company, THE PURPOSE may be financial wellbeing, and so one should not be attached to an inefficient business model.

Where the goal is to have a relationship, THE PURPOSE may be to give and receive love, and so one should not be attached to an incompatible person.

I quit drumming when I was having some trouble with my music career because I zoomed out, looked at the forest and realized that my purpose was to express my individuality, not ‘to be a drummer’ per se.

Now, with the website, I’m creating more audio-visual content instead of writing all the time because I realized my purpose is to promote intelligence, self-growth and maturity, not ‘to be a writer’ per se (and multimedia is a more effective means toward that end, given this day and age).

Identify with your purpose, but be flexible in your approach. I’ll release another self-discipline video soon that’ll go further in-depth.

Peace,
+B”

How to Think Like a Scientist….& (More Importantly) How to ACT LIKE A SCIENTIST So You Get Scientific (i.e. Dependable) Results.

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 17:00:03 +0000

In an old talk-show radio program about self-discipline, I shared how since “everything is an equation,” one great way to raise your self-discipline (and start getting RESULTS) is to be more of a scientist who *experiments.*

What I mean by that is you can QUICKLY overcome your limitations and almost IMMEDIATELY discover the best methods, techniques and tools to accomplish your goals by having an experimentation-approach.

An Experimentation-Approach???

And what I mean by that is simple: DO EVERYTHING AS A TEST. Do things small initially to see the type of results you get FIRST and then – after you find what works – SCALE THAT UP.

Stop thinking that you need to start off with a great, big idea that’s going to have this major impact and requires a *huge* investment of time and energy up front. Instead, try experimenting with different things to see:

>> what you like,

>> what fits your personality,

>> what leverages your particular strengths,

>> what gets you the results you want and

>> what you can see yourself being dedicated to FOR A MINUTE.

Big goals – especially new ideas that you’re unsure of – create a sense of *pressure*, and that pressure is at the root of most procrastination.

Worse off, you don’t even know if it’s going to work, so you might end up investing a lot on the front end only to find out that it was a bad idea (or a complete waste of time to begin with) after the fact.

THIS IS WHERE A LOT OF OTHERWISE EXTREMELY PROMISING INDIVIDUALS MESS UP: THEY HAVE THIS GREAT IDEA ABOUT SOMETHING UNREALISTICALLY HUGE AND PROMISING BEFORE THEY EVEN START, BECAUSE IN THEIR HEAD IT SEEMS SO PERFECT…

As an Example…

A few years ago I wanted to start a writing group and when I told a poet friend of mine about it, his immediate response was “Yeah, you know I can get you set up at such-and-such a venue, and my man does promotion, so we can even get it popping on campus and start a poetry-movement!!!”

I just said, “Well, that sounds good but uh, let’s see how the first meeting goes and take it from there.”

And that’s the type of realistic, experimentation-thinking I’m talking about, because it’s much easier to be disciplined, focused, productive and effective when it comes to setting up *a single meeting* then it is to when it comes to starting a “poetry movement.”

What I’m really getting at here is that you can’t let yourself get carried away by the enthusiasm. A new idea might be promising or sound good, but unless you have raw data (real feedback from small samples) it’s still too fictional to take seriously…

But I Want to Do BIG Things…

Now you might be thinking, “Yeah, you’re right Bryan, but I don’t want to just do small things, I want to do BIG THINGS…I want to be somebody who leaves an impact.”

And THAT’S GREAT: you should want to leave an impact, but worry about that after you “strike gold.” The time for you to start thinking big is when you find an opportunity *that works* and builds momentum on its own…it’s something you’ll feel intuitively insteaassume preeminently.

(Just like a great relationship, it’s something you want to just happen and grow naturally, not conscientiously plan out. Simply put, scientists don’t jump to conclusions.)

Again, I’m not saying don’t be dedicated, but what I AM saying is that when it comes to specific projects and specific plans, start small and then scale up…always test your hypothesis before you commit.

Remember that you, I and everyone else you know that’s about progress *is constantly learning.* Our minds are always going to the next level, and that means that the vast majority of ideas we have AREN’T GOING TO WORK.

Just like most relationships don’t last and most businesses don’t last, most of your IDEAS won’t last either, so your best bet is to *experiment* (to try different things and play around with different things in a detached way) before you get too hyped or too involved with any particular program…ESPECIALLY when it comes to working with other people.

Hope this helps. Know you can contact me at anytime for more, and take care…

Peace,
+B

What’s ‘Today’s Transcendence’ All About Anyway??? It Sounds a Little Too ‘New-Agey’ For Me…

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 17:00:24 +0000

Today’s transcendence is about power, but not “Higher” power, “Universal-Cosmos” power or any other vague, metaphysical notion of personal growth you’ve heard elsewhere. Today’s Transcendence is about PRACTICAL POWER…

This blog is meant to help (already) conscious individuals become more *action-oriented* individuals, because (in my humble opinion) too many self-aware, intelligent, articulate, talented, interesting, promising, insert-whatever-adjective meaning “potentially powerful” people aren’t accomplishing anything NEAR what they’re truly capable of, and since that was your’s truly for a good minute, I started this website to put that sad tendency to an end. (Read more about “conscious-laziness,” here)

So instead of adding to all the conspiracy theories and cosmic-alignment videos on youtube, I figured it better I create a place that channels all that “conscious learning energy” towards productivity and results (not merely “information”). I figured this way, I’d at least end up with something unique and more useful.

Specifically, “Today’s Transcendence” is a conscious path to:

>> end procrastination,

>> manage your time,

>> stay organized,

>> attain self-discipline, and

…find unstoppable motivation (which is also the title of my upcoming book). So if any of that sounds “up your alley,” you’re in good online-blogger hands.

There’s Also…

There’s also the occasional rant here and there, (okay, more then just occasional), but that’s besides the point…I simply thought it more constructive to create a RESOURCE rather than just waste internet gigabytes with my opinion, and time management, staying organized, getting focused, etc. are all things that I’m naturally good at enough to effectively teach.

So no, Today’s Transcendence isn’t new-agey at all: interestingly enough, it’s meant to guide people AWAY from that type of thinking and more towards practicality, focus and a good work ethic in today’s digital wilderness…

Honestly, when I first started, the blog WAS a little woo-woo (aren’t we all a little “out there” at some point in our lives?), but I’ve matured somewhat since that time.

Again, on this blog, you’ll find advice on how to get your mind right, how to stay focused, how to eat better, how to manage your time, and ultimately, how to conquer yourself. Use the navigation bar above to get an idea of what I mean.

Every day when I get out the bed, I aim to be a bit more wiser, focused and “together” before the next time I lie back in it, and I just think the world would be a better place if we all pushed ourselves to perform past our “default circumference” in similar fashion. Today’s Transcendence exists to help you do just that.

You can now return to your regularly scheduled online conspiracy theory.

Peace,
+B

New Video || Time-Management is PLAYED OUT…Most of The Advice is Based On a World That NO LONGER EXISTS.

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 17:56:30 +0000

Here’s a great new video called “Time-Management is PLAYED OUT: Why Most Time-Management Advice is Based On a World That NO LONGER EXISTS.” which is really just a test run. (It’s another raw clip I initially used as practice and figured I might as well share.)

Time-Management is PLAYED OUT:

For a more in-depth tutorial on this idea (and 4 other great techniques) see the time-management and productivity video I released early last week.

“Time-management is a MISNOMER…the challenge is to manager ourselves.” ~ Stephen Covey

“What’s the #1 priority in business, organization, time-management and success? Eliminating distraction and interruption.” ~ Eben Pagan

Peace,
+B

Trouble w/ INFORMATION OVERLOAD??? Here’s What to Do When Knowledge Has You ‘Fiend Out’

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 17:00:16 +0000

KNOWLEDGE IS CRACK…I don’t care what anybody says, there’s no high like the high from a great new insight that revolutionizes your thinking, and that’s why my friends and I are ALWAYS in search of our next hit.

It’s one of the few positive addictions that are actually healthy, but like anything else, it can turn UN-healthy if you don’t discipline the crave. If you’re not careful, the process of learning can turn into the superficial performance of learning-related tasks, and – even worse – living in today’s hyper-communicative, digitized world makes this all to easy.

So learning to learn in a sensible way is a CHALLENGING enterprise, but a PRICELESS SKILL. Since we now live in an information economy (no longer an industrial one), the ability to learn, adapt and distill actionable plans from hordes of oncoming information is slowly becoming the new currency.

So let’s cover 4 techniques for dealing with information overload, because before you can truly “conquer” information, you need to feel liberated from it. Each tip will link to a specific post that’ll go more in depth. …

4 Techniques for Handling Information-Overload

1: Show “Intellectual Discipline”: Set up specific (as in numerical) guidelines for action and hold yourself to it. Say “at the end of each chapter, I’m going to try 3 techniques and measure the feedback.” For more on this approach, view my more in-depth article from back in March.

2: Delete Bookmarks, Emails, etc, etc.: and also give away some of your books. If you’ve been collecting material for a long time, that’s a good sign that you’ve probably GROWN PAST some of your historic interest, so getting rid of stuff helps alleviate the burden of feeling you obligated to finish so much. Click here for more on managing email.

3: Set aside a “knowledge” time: for me, I have a dedicated reading time first thing when I wake up in the morning, and first thing when I get off work. Not only does this get me inspired and keep me feeling on-point, it also chips away at my reading pile QUICKLY and CONSISTENTLY (because it’s a habit). See here for more on morning routines.

4: Try Accelerated Reading & Mind-Mapping: In my old-school radio show “Recommended Scrolls: Great Read for Overcoming Compulsive Eating, Building Concentration & More”, I shared some specific reading techniques to digest information FASTER, as well as specific note-taking techniques to RETAIN MORE. The first is called “Accelerated Reading” and the second “Mind-Mapping”. Click the respective links for more, and click here to enjoy that classic radio session.

So again, if you’d like to get a better hand on your reading, start by setting specific, reasonable metrics to gauge how much you’re actually getting from it, relieve yourself of all the unnecessary reading you’ve grown past, set aside a dedicated times to do this DAILY, and use advanced methods to speed up the process and get the most out of it.

Thanks again for checking this out. Hope it all helps.

Peace,
+B

Be The Sun, NOT THE PLANET: New Video on Defining Success & Being Successful ON YOUR OWN TERMS…

Bryan Ogilvie — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 17:15:21 +0000

I’ve been playing around a lot with video recently: the idea is to keep it short and simple (which makes things MUCH easier, actually) while I have fun messing with some new programs, features and techniques. Enjoy and leave commentary…

“Be the Sun, NOT THE PLANET…”

“Be the sun, not the planet, and what I mean by that is not so much an ego-centric, I’m the center of the world, kind of thing, but to simply take responsibility for your life by defining it and living it on your own terms.

Don’t orbit around somebody else’s plan or somebody else’s worldview, and be proactive about setting up a Solar System that reflects your own understanding and your own personal “laws,” if you will…”

Peace,
+B

How to Be a ‘Fly’ Person: Early Writings on Building Self-Confidence, part 3 (On Positive Self-Talk & Knowing Your Spiritual Nature)

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 17:00:41 +0000

Here’s part 3 (the finale) of how to be a “fly” person: some of my earliest writings on self-confidence I thought worthy of reposting now. Be sure to check out part 1 and part 2 if you haven’t already, and – if you prefer – enjoy some of my more modern work on self-confidence too.

The 3rd Step for Self-Confidence

The third and last step is to realize that thinking is a habit…to realize that you have the same thoughts over and over again not because they’re valid or accurate, but simply because you’re in the habit of thinking them.

If you’re in the habit of thinking limiting and discouraging thoughts, then you have to get INTO the habit of thinking supportive and encouraging thoughts, and you can gain this habit in the same way you gain any other…repetition.

Think about it:

>> At the start of a new year, when you write down the date, you accidentally write down last year’s number because of repetition.

>> When you check your email online, you type out your username and password without even having to think about it because of repetition, and

>> When you stop using an alarm clock, you get your behind up at the same time anyway because of repetition.

So to be positive, motivated and proactive in your life, you have to condition yourself, through repetition, to think thoughts that are conducive to positivity, motivation and effectiveness.

To free yourself of anxiety depression and low self-esteem, you have to condition yourself, through repetition, to automatically think thoughts conducive to faith, joy and high self-esteem.

That’s why I focus so much on the affirmation process here on the blog: by consistently forcing yourself – literally bombarding your mind – to think thoughts of your own conscious volition, you gain control over both your mentality AND your emotions, as well as (logically) their consequent behavior. It’s called The Science of Autosuggestion.

So take the affirmations seriously, and find creative ways to make them part of your automatic, habitual mindstate. You already know the suggested technique.

Conclusion (Notes on Spirituality)

Lastly, don’t think of what we’re building on here as just “self-improvement.” Instead, think of it as “Ego Exercise” or even better, “Character Conditioning.”

As physical conditioning develops vitality and body-form; character conditioning develops personality and self-image…it’s the same principle applied to an alternate plane. With a strong, healthy and well conditioned self-image, you’ll carry out life-tasks with finesse – you’ll take on challenges and goals with a proactive, youthful spirit.

If you think about it though, terms like “self-improvement” and self-development” are really misnomers, because the True Self, the spiritual being you really are, comes from an Eternal Source, and in what ways can this Eternal Self ever be improved or developed???

Still however, your levels of persistence, personal integrity, vision, kindness, humility, emotional intelligence, humor, knowledge, patience and forgiveness (towards both yourself AND others) can ALL be improved and developed, and your self-talk, the internal dialogue that governs these things can be improved and developed as well.

Regardless of the circumstances contained in your present, and regardless of the history contained in the past, YOU control the destination contained in your future.

In your life, you’re the sole-controller, so free yourself from what happened and take charge of what IS happening. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, so clean the slate mentally and start building something right and exact in the here and now.

After all, the “you” that you dislike isn’t even the real you anyway – it’s only a garment holding your essential spirit. Remember, just as the wardrobe in your closet can change, so too can the character which adorns your soul.” ~ fin

So again, just for emphasis: being FLY begins with how you talk to and feel about YOURSELF, INTERNALLY…you can get all the greatest clothes, newest electronic devices and even accomplish the greatest things, but if you don’t work on this internal dynamic and heal that process, NOTHING ELSE WILL MATTER.

Thanks for reading…

Peace,
+B

CAN YOU HELP ME CHOOSE A BOOK COVER???

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:00:56 +0000

The video pretty much explains it all: I’m going with the green one, but I thought it would help to get some feedback first. Check out the samples below to get a closer look at each cover design. Enjoy…

Can You Help Me Choose a Book Cover???

Click HERE to view COVER #1 (the orange template),

Click HERE to view COVER #2 (the blue template),

Click HERE to view COVER #3 (the green template), and

Click HERE to view COVER #4 (the mixed template)

Use the comments section below to let me know your thoughts, and thanks again for your time…

Peace,
+B

Don’t Be Afraid to Expose Yourself: How Friendship & Bonding Make You More Productive & Remove Inner-Blocks

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 17:00:58 +0000

YOU NEED GOOD FRIENDS TO BE PRODUCTIVE, not because of they can “hook you up” with massive networks or valuable resources, but because they’ll *force* you to take a good look at yourself whenever you’re slacking…

Remember, being productive isn’t simply managing time, building concentration or anything else practical and obvious (that’s just the technical part). At a deeper level, productivity is about “leveling up” like an RPG (ask your resident geekazoid…he’ll know what I’m talking about). It’s about examining your entire life’s framework and seeing where your head is at…seeing those subtle, “subconscious confinements” most people are too shook to acknowledge.

Seriously: things like low self-esteem, unhealthy relationships, fear of the unknown and fear of being exposed CREATE FRICTION inside the prospectively productive-person’s system (hope that makes sense) and having this friction is a lot like looking into a broken mirror in that can literally DESTROY your ability to “reflect.”

In other words, inner-conflict is tricky because the thought process you use to get a hold of it is actually at the root of the problem. Therefore, the conundrum requires said prospectively-productive person to BORROW a good friend’s thought process as a means to help examine, neutralize and re-modify their own (really hoping this all makes sense).

Just think about the last great book you read: what were you doing except BORROWING somebody else’s thought process, temporarily? Anytime you read nonfiction, you’re borrowing somebody else’s thought process, and anytime you read fiction, you’re borrowing somebody else’s imagination. Think about that for a second.

So if this resonates with you – if you’re going through a rough patch in life right now and can’t seem figure out why you’re in “prospective” status – remember the basics: you need somebody else’s viewpoint to be objective and move forward in a rational way. (Duh, silly.)

There’s Nothing To Be Ashamed Of

This is just me “getting deep” to explain commons sense, but it amazes me to see so many brilliant, talented and knowledgeable people literally SCARED to open up about their fears and concerns, as though not feeling 100% driven and motivated *all the time* was something to be ashamed of, or as though having a real problem you need help figuring out makes you uncool.

If it helps, know that I MYSELF wasn’t feeling too motivated just last week. I don’t mean to get controversial here, but trying to “not” lose focus is like taking an HIV-test: ANYTHING CAN SET IT OFF…bad eating, family problems, girlfriend problems, sleeping problems, a damaging, ridiculing comment…literally ANYTHING.

Okay, so I take the HIV comment back (don’t want no beef), but my point is that being focused is a fragile thing, it’s so delicate that even your own thoughts can undermine it, so you need other “thought-mirrors” to bounce off of and make sure you don’t look jacked up. (This is also why I’m honored that you trust me enough to teach you this sort of thing…it’s really difficult, both to do and to explain.)

So don’t be afraid to expose yourself: eleven times out of ten, whatever you’re going through is something your friend went through themselves or knows somebody else going through RIGHT NOW, so they’ll empathize and won’t be judgmental.

(I even went to a suicide-prevention class one time and guess what…IT WAS PACKED. Point is: everybody’s going through drama and confusion – it’s called life. You’d be surprised what people have been through if you just take the initiative to reveal a little yourself.)

Remember that sharing a weakness actually opens the bridge and deepens the connection. Friendship and bonding help make you more productive and remove inner blocks, but they also help to strengthen your alliances as well.

So again, if you have trouble staying focused and being productive, it may be because you have some inner-conflict about your goals and AREN’T sharing those inner-conflicts with a more reasoned, experienced or objective thought process.

Don’t get too caught up meditating and reading self-development books, because one of the best ways to get over your *ish is the old-school way: BY TALKING ABOUT IT…

Even if you can’t think of anyone to open up to, you can contact me. Toll free too: 1-800-B-R-Y-A-N (it’s supposed to be 10 numbers though, right?).

Hope this helps…and if it doesn’t, ughhh…well…damn. Tough cookies. Glad I’m not you…

Peace,
+B

NEW VIDEO || 5 Time-Management Tips MADE EASY (Just In Case You Forgot)

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 20:10:10 +0000

Here’s a great new video called “5 Time-Management Tips MADE EASY (Just In Case You Forgot)” based on an older, written blog post of the same name. Enjoy:

5 Time-Management Tips MADE EASY..

Peace,
+B

How to Be a ‘Fly’ Person: Early Writings on Building Self-Confidence, part 2 (On Overcoming Guilt & Forgiving Yourself)

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 17:00:36 +0000

So here’s part two of being a “fly” person: being fly mentally of course…in terms of your self-confidence, not in terms of your fashion (although the young lad above is kind of jig). This is really some of my early work slightly revised, so be sure to check out the first installment and the third, finale one to enjoy this series in full…

So the second step for building self-confidence is to take large doses of this special medicine called forgiveness: learn to forgive yourself.

Self-forgiveness is challenging, because we tend to harbor extreme guilt and shame towards ourselves for things we’ve done in the past.

In the past – through our selfishness or lack of self-control – we may have caused someone else – maybe even someone we loved – to experience pain, and through our anger, we may have even done this intentionally.

If this is you, accept the fact that it happened, and that there’s nothing you can do about it now. You can’t go back in time and undo what’s already done, so dwelling on it now serves no purpose at all.

What Guilt Does to Us…

When you harbor guilt towards yourself, the only thing you do is prevent yourself from making the most of your life in the present, and in effect, you end up denying the world of the brilliant contributions only you have to share.

We all have things in our past that we’re ashamed of…the mistakes you’ve made (yes, even the most terrible ones) DO NOT make you a bad person, they only make you human…

“But how can I forgive myself if I knew EXACTLY what I was doing at the time, and still did it anyway?”

That’s a good question, and I’m glad you asked: the answer is to realize that everyone you know, including you, is, at all times, only doing the best they can.

Everyone’s doing the best they can. Everyone’s operating to the greatest extent that their awareness will allow them to.

While we may know something on an intellectual level, that doesn’t mean we truly UNDERSTAND it…it doesn’t mean we’ve integrated into the core of our psyche.

That’s the difference between knowledge and wisdom: while it’s relatively easy to grasp something conceptually, it takes *life experience* to internalize wisdom, and this experience usually comes in the form of pain, such as the guilt you feel from your mistake now.

That’s why you hear people say “You’re so smart, you’re stupid…”. Since “intelligent” people grasp things so well with just their brain, they tend to get over-confident in their own thought process, and thus disregard life-experience….they don’t pay attention to the signs they’re getting, and therefore fail to gain wisdom.

Wisdom is a bio-feedback mechanism: the prefix bio means life, and wisdom is the mechanism that obtains lessons from life by reflecting on it.

So realize that you had to make the mistake in order to learn from it, because if you really did know it, you wouldn’t of made the mistake in the first place. Forgive yourself for not having enough wisdom at the time, and move forward in life with the lessons you can extract from it now.

Channeling Guilt into Purpose & Direction

Debbie Ford talks about this in her audiobook The Secret of the Shadow: The Power of Owning Your Whole Story, where your “shadow” is the past that you’ve been avoiding or feeling guilyt about and your “secret” is the hidden jewels of insight contained within that same past.

While you THINK your past is negative, it actually holds the central keys to knowledge of self and life-purpose.

For instance, if your shadow has something to do with a significant other, the secret might lead you to devote yourself to creating love in ALL of your relationships. If your shadow has something to do with family, the secret might lead you to dedicate yourself to becoming a wonderful parent and helping others to do the same, so on and so forth…

You can’t play cut and paste with your life history, and you can’t relegate the parts that you’re ashamed of to some place in the back of your mind. If you do, they’ll continue to haunt and limit you from the subconscious realm.

You have to “own your whole story”; you have to accept EVERYTHING you’ve been through – the good, the bad and the ugly – in order to gain the wisdom necessary to live up to your Highest Design.

Hope this helps. Take care and check back in next week for part three.

Peace,
+B

How to Stop Failure NOW (Overcoming Negative Patterns of Defeat, Underachievement & More)

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 17:00:24 +0000

Here’s an audio clip of Mike Brescia (founder of Think Right Now Intl.) telling the story about how he used the power of his mind to overcome the immense failures of his early life…

Trust me, if you think YOU got it bad, *this audio will put things into perspective*. It’ll also show you how to reframe your circumstances so they empower you for positive change. Check it out:
Download audio file (trn3.mp3)

Again, Mike Brescia is a founder of Think Right Now Intl., a company that provides the same “Accelerated Success Conditioning Software” that I use on a daily basis…

When you check out there site, they’ll give you this “Life-Transformation Kit” FOR FREE (that’s where this audio comes from), a collection of short-manuals on:

>> “How to Absolutely, Positively Guarantee Success In Everything You Do…”

>> “How to Feel Powerful Instantly…”

>> “How to Instantly Gain Momentum (AND Keep It)”

>> “The 11 Mental Patterns That Naturally Attract The Life You Desire…”

>> “The Unedited Conversations In People’s Minds EXPOSED…”

>> “Over 500 Think Right Now Case Studies from Clients…” (testimonial proof…*my* story might be in here too, matter of fact)

…and even more. To get your hands on these free resources, click here now.

As I said, me not telling you about these audio programs would be like me not telling you about the books I read that revolutionized my thinking or the holistic health choices I made that freed me from depression.

It’s THAT serious…ThinkRightNow.com is the most visited personal development product site ON EARTH, and it’s also the primary tool I use (everyday, mind you) to stay focused, motivated and in a constant state of growth and expansion, so do yourself a favor and check them out now to get those free tools.

Peace,
+B

True Beauty is ALL NATURAL: Holistic Health Advice from Beauty Expert & Guest Blogger Nikkeve Toi

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 17:00:40 +0000

Here’s a helpful guest post from fellow blogger (and good friend) Nikkeve Toi, who has a great YouTube channel (and website) that gives beauty advice from a holistic perspective.

In essence, Ms.Toi teaches women how to enjoy the benefits of an ALL-NATURAL beautification process, so they don’t have to worry about the chemical build-up and toxic long-term effects of normal cosmetics. This particular piece of hers is on healthy eating however, which the sister also talks delves in from time to time. Enjoy…

Beautify Your Diet

“An often overlooked beauty secret is maintaining a balanced pH level inside the body. Your pH (potential of hydrogen) level is what measures the acid-alkaline balance within your body.

The average American is inclined to have an acidic pH level due to lifestyle. According to Dr. Jonathan B. Levine – DMD, world-renowned dentist and correspondent for The Dr. Oz Show – “the majority of Americans eat mostly acidifying food, with minimal alkalizing intake”. Acidifying foods include processed foods, sugar, and meat. (High acidity can also result from high stress levels.)

A highly acidic body is unable to efficiently assimilate nutrition from the food we eat and therefore, causes our body’s functions to diminish. The results are all but noticeable in the mirror:

>> Chronic acne,

>> premature aging,

>> dark under eye circles, and

>> a dull complexion

…are just a few of the issues that can stem from high acidity. You can easily test your body’s pH by purchasing pH strips from a local pharmacy. Follow the package directions and consult your doctor if you are concerned with the results.

A healthy pH ranges between 6.0 – 6.5 in the morning and 6.5 – 7.0 in the evening. Maintaining a balanced pH level has a great effect on your health and beauty. *Here are some tips to help keep your body’s pH level balanced*:

Drink your water with lemon. Lemon becomes alkaline after digestion, therefore, aiding pH balance.

Eat more dark leafy greens. They’re nature’s ultimate alkalizing foods.

Get proper amount of sleep. Sleep reduces acid formation within the body, and lastly

Breathe deeply. Slow, deep breaths raise carbon dioxide level in blood which has alkalizing effects…”

Again, be sure to enjoy Nikkeve’s blog or YouTube Channel for more. Stay wise and take care of yourself…

Peace,
+B

The Friendly Way to ‘Keep People in Check’ (ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS 101 w/ Step-by-Step Formula)

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 17:00:51 +0000

Here’s an excerpt from Lucy Jo Palladino’s Find Your Focus Zone: An Effective New Plan to Defeat Distraction & Overload, which follows an initial post on OVERCOMING FEAR you can check out here.

“I was watching pre-schoolers being interviewed on television about events in the news one day, and when one child was asked, ‘Why do you think people go to war?’ he replied: ‘Because they don’t use their words…’

Assertiveness skills are ways to use you words so you can stand up for your rights WITHOUT stepping on the rights of others. Since they let you express yourself effectively (without bullying others or letting others bully you), assertiveness skills help you get your needs met without passive-aggression or losing your temper. Here’s some examples:

Your boss refuses to listen to your ideas about a project…

>> Passive-Aggressive: you don’t say anything, but stall on getting it ready.
>> Hostile-Aggressive: You blow up and quit your job.
>> Assertive: You suggest a team meeting to discuss it.

Your significant other makes plans that involve you without consulting you first…

>> Passive-Aggressive: You go along with the plans but act coldly.
>> Hostile-Aggressive:You blow up, slam the door and leave.
>> Assertive: You decide independently what it is you want to do. Whether or not you choose to go, you discuss the issue with your significant other.

Your child won’t turn the TV off when she’s supposed to…

>> Passive-Aggressive: You don’t want to stop what you’re doing, so you let her keep watching; but you feel resentful and snap at her the rest of the night.
>> Hostile-Aggressive: You yell at her and threaten to ground her for a week.
>> Assertive: You walk into the room and matter-of-factly ask her if she wants to turn the TV off or if she’d rather you turn it off; and then you follow through.

Neurology & Anger

But obviously, it’s hard to use your words to solve problems when you’re mad. When you’re mad, your amygdala (a part of your brain’s “limbic system” responsible for processing emotions) diverts your brain’s resources in order to keep your anger burning.

So interestingly, at the times when you need to be most assertive, your brain’s CEO (logic) is less available to you because the amygdala is forcing it to rationalize your anger and keep that norepinephrine (a “neurotransmitter” underlying the “fight-or-flight” response) pumping.

Your focus gets narrowed, and you get quicker to think things like “This guy is an a-hole,” rather than “I wonder if there’s another way to do this. Maybe I can talk to someone else on the team.”

So to help you put your words together when you feel provoked like that, here’s a formula – a template for writing your own script, if you will:

1: State the facts,
2: Say how you feel,
3: See through the persons eyes, and then
4: Ask for what you want.

So let’s say you need to talk to the stubborn boss:

1: That new software project has complications and costs not listed in the current proposal.
2: It’s hard for me to jump on board, because I’m concerned about them.
3: I understand you believe it has a strong potential for success.
4: Let’s schedule a team meeting and see what everyone thinks.

This time you’re the frustrated parent with a TV-loving child:

1: It’s 9 pm and the TV is still on; we both know that it’s time to turn it off.
2: I don’t like having to enforce a rule you know is up to you to keep.
3: I know you want to keep watching and that it’s been a tough day.
4: Do you want to turn it off or would you like me to do that for you?

And now you’re the significant other who wasn’t consulted:

1: I see you’ve scheduled us again to play golf with the Duffers. I’m OK with going this time.
2: I want you to know, though, I don’t like it when you confirm plans without asking me first. I feel left out…as if I don’t matter.
3: I know you’re just trying to be sociable and plan nice things for us to do.
4: Next time Chip or anyone else asks you, would you say that you need to check with me first?

Step 3 helps diffuse the situation: when you make an honest attempt to see the conflict through the other person’s eyes, that person feels validated, just as you would if the other person tried to see it your way. This decreases the other person’s defensiveness and also keeps the rational part of your brain in charge.

HOWEVER, BE CAREFUL TO NOT TO START STEP 4 WITH THE WORD “BUT.” With that one tiny word you alter the entire sentiment of the message and undo what you said in step 3.

With the word “but,” you’re no longer validating the other person’s viewpoint…instead you’re saying “I see your point of view and now discounting it…” ~ Lucy Jo Palladino, PhD.

Peace,
+B

Romantic Obsession IS NOT Love: An Excerpt from ‘The 5 Love Languages’ By Dr. Gary Chapman

Bryan Ogilvie — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 16:00:51 +0000

Right now I’m enjoying this AMAZING read, The 5 Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman, that explains how there are five, completely different “dialects” of deep, emotional connection and that we each come predisposed for a particular one. (“The personality types of love,” if you will.)

Unfortunately though, *we only understand OUR OWN language*, so too many great relationships and marriages eventually grow cold by us not VALIDATING one another – not “speaking love” to one another – on the frequency that other person is attuned to. Essentially, most relationships become the equivalent of someone speaking German to another who only understand Chinese.

So the five languages Chapman discovered are – write this down – (1) words of affirmation, (2) quality time, (3) receiving gifts, (4) acts of service, and (5) physical touch, but before he “breaks down the science” and gives techniques for each one, he covers two VERY important points:

(A) That the need for love is not simply a childhood phenomenon… that it’s something we ALL need even in our adulthood, and (B) that the initial romantic infatuation we go through IS NOT REAL LOVE, that it’s guaranteed to fade away with time (even though it seems perfect midstream), so we need to approach loving our mate in a more disciplined, conscientious way.

So for your reading pleasure (thank me later…or thank YOURSELF by buying the book), here’s an excerpt on that last point. Enjoy…

On “Falling In Love”

“Some researchers, like psychiatrist M. Scott Peck and psychologist Dorothy Tennov, conclude that the ‘in-love’ experience shouldn’t be called ‘love’ at all. Dr. Tennov coined the term ‘limerence’ for the in-love experience in order to distinguish it from actual, genuine love.

Dr. Peck says that falling-in-love isn’t real for three key reasons: first, it’s not an act of will or conscious choice. No matter how much we may WANT to fall in love, we never actually “make” it happen (it’s often when we’re NOT seeking it that we’re overtaken) and that’s why we tend to fall in love at inopportune times and with unlikely people.

Second, falling in love isn’t real because it’s effortless. Whatever we do in the “in-love” state requires little discipline or conscious effort on our part:

>> the long, expensive phone calls we make to each other,

>> the money we spend traveling to see one another,

>> the gifts we give and

>> the professional work and projects we sacrifice

…are as nothing to us. Just like a bird, by instinct, builds a nest, so being in love, by instinct, pushes us to do outlandish and unnatural things.

Third (and most importantly), someone who’s ‘in love’ is not genuinely interested in the personal growth of the other person: our main purpose is *to terminate our own loneliness* and perhaps ensure that termination through marriage.

Again, being ‘in love’ DOES NOT focus on our own development OR on the development of the other person. Instead, it gives us the (false) notion that we’ve “arrived” and need no further development at all. When we’re in love, we’re at the apex of life’s happiness and our only desire is to stay there: certainly our beloved doesn’t need to grow…she’s *definitely* perfect, and we simply hope she’ll remain that way.

So What IS Real Love Then???

If falling in love isn’t real, what is it? Dr. Peck concludes that it’s (brace yourself…we’re about to get analytical):

“A genetically determined instinctual component of mating behavior: the temporary collapse of ego boundaries that constitutes falling in love is a stereotypic response of human beings to a configuration of internal sexual drives and external sexual stimuli, which serves to increase the probability of sexual pairing and bonding so as to enhance the survival of the species…”

(NOTE: Now if you’re thinking “WTF???” after reading that, don’t worry…I was too. Basically, we’re wired to fall in love so the species can continue: limerence exists to insure that we keep getting our freak on.)

Whether you agree with that or not, you can’t disagree that the experience catapults us into emotional orbit like nothing else and DIS-engages our reasoning: we do and say things we’d never do and say if sober and – after we come down from the emotional obsession – wonder why we even did them in the first place.

When the wave of emotions subside and we’re back in the real world, we see our differences and ask ‘Why did we get married? We don’t agree on anything.’ But at the height of in-loveness we *thought* we agreed on everything…at least everything that was important.

So does this mean that after our genes trick us into marriage we either (a) resign ourselves to a life of misery with our spouse or (b) jump ship and try again??? Most of our generation has chosen the latter, but statistics prove – with 40% of first marriages ending in divorce, but 60 and 75% of second and third marriages ending in divorce, respectively – that the chance of living happily ever after the second or third time around is insubstantial.

But research indicates that THERE’S A THIRD AND BETTER CHOICE: to recognize the “in-love” experience for what it was – a temporary emotional high – and pursue ‘real love’ with our spouse…the kind that’s emotional in nature but not obsessive.

It’s a love that unites reason AND emotion. It involves will and requires discipline, AND it recognizes the need for personal growth.

Remember, our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love, but to BE genuinely loved…to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me…who sees in me something worth loving.” ~ Dr. Gary Chapman

Peace,
+B

How to Be a ‘Fly’ Person: Early Writings on Building Self-Confidence, part 1 (On Reframing Your Mistakes & Failures)

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 16:00:37 +0000

For most people, being “fly” means being “jigged out,” or simply having a strong fashion sense. But for me – being the conceptual nerd that I am – being “fly” means being psychologically unaffected by your trials and tribulations: it means being able to speak to yourself in an uplifting, elevated and liberated way, REGARDLESS of what happens to you…

That being said, here’s some of my earliest writings on raising your confidence and self-esteem. Let me know what you think, and enjoy both part 2 and part 3 of this series to get all the goodies. (Not “goodies” like Ciara though…that’s definitely not the subconscious association I need to be making…uh-oh, too late.)

The thing is, your value as a person can NEVER be measured by your accomplished, and while you’re desire for success is healthy, the false notion that you need success to BE desirable is not…

If you have this false notion, the following cycle might sound familiar: (1) you get inspired to do something, (2) you make a minor attempt at it, (3) you experience a small setback, (4) you lose the motivation to keep trying, and (5) you beat yourself up about it continuously after the fact.

The internal dialogue goes something like “Look at me, here I go messing things up again.” “What the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I get this right?” “I’m just stupid…stupid, stupid, stupid.” “See, I knew this would happen. Why do I even bother? Just forget it.”

This is low self-worth, and in time, the negative self-talk associated can become ingrained, making the more positive self-talk that encourages success (an internal champion) seem unimaginable.

So to help fight this tendency, here’s part 1 (of 3) of my favorite techniques for becoming a “fly” person, which again, is about your motivational sense, not your fashion one…

1: Separate Your Results from Your IDENTITY

The first step to liberate yourself from this is to separate your experiences from your identity…it’s to learn evaluating yourself as separate process from evaluating your results.

If you can’t seem to “stay motivated” for instance, that just means you don’t know how to motivate yourself, which is *a skill* you can learn.

If you can’t seem to build anything with the people you meet romantically, that just means you don’t know how to build a relationship, which is *a skill* you can learn.

If you can’t seem to manage your finances, that just means you’re not strategic (or positive) about money, which is *a skill* you can learn.

None of this means that something is wrong with YOU, but simply that you don’t know how to do a particular thing.

When you were born, you didn’t even know how to walk, but you learned, didn’t you? And, you had to fall down numerous times, but did you say to yourself, “I’m destined to just crawl for the rest of my life. Why do I even try???”

Failure is a stepping stone to success. You have to fail multiple times in everything you do before you learn to do it, so stop interpreting your failures as indications of your personal value, and “stop making identity meaning out of external events.”

Before you can truly “unfold your wings” and take off, you have to understand that you are perfect exactly as you are now. You don’t need to improve, evolve or succeed in order to grow in value as a human being: You are valuable as a human being simply because you exist.

More coming soon…

Peace,
+B

THE 4 LEARNING STYLES: How to Create MAGNETIC Information That Speaks to ALL Personality Types

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 16:00:53 +0000

Ever try to teach somebody something important and get the weird feeling it went right through one ear and out the other? Ever have someone explain a vague concept to you by randomly pulling together facts and ideas that lead nowhere??? Both sides of the coin – having a poor teacher or having a lazy student – can be VERY annoying.

What if I told you that when this happens, it’s not because the person is just dumb (although that might be the case) or – on the reverse side – because *they* have absolutely NO idea what they’re talking about, but simply because they have a completely different “personality type for knowledge” than you do?

What if I told you that there are actually four *different* “learning styles,” that if you consciously knew and used to structure YOUR information, you’d ALWAYS be listened to…that people would seek YOU out to learn from and that you’d never be ignored (or thought of as “whacko” or preachy) again???

The Thing Is…

…while we all know about the personality types (introverted/extroverted, type A/type B, etc.), for some odd reason, we rarely think about how that same theory might play out in more specific areas of life.

For instance, Dr. Gary Chapman talks about the personality types of love in his book The 5 Love Languages which we’ll get into later this week, and Prof. Wyatt Woodsmall (author of numerous books on psychology and NLP) talks about the personality types of knowledge with his concept, “The 4 Learning Styles,” which we’re about to get into right now.

Now to be clear, these are NOT simply the various “mediums” you can put information in (like verbal, visual, or audio), they’re fundamentally different ways our psyches come pre-wired to understand new ideas.

By instinct, most of us only talk OUR OWN language: whenever we have something to teach or explain, we resort to our own natural style and assume that the other person should just “get it,”…and if they don’t, that that’s their problem, not ours.

But as you know, that’s a passive, failure-prone approach to have, so let’s get straight into it and talk about how you can start implementing the four learning styles in your own life today.

1: The “WHY” Learning-Style

“Why-learners” are always asking the question “WHY?” as in “Why am I learning this?” or “Why are you even telling me???” Quite literally, a why person CAN’T learn unless it’s made clear from the outset “why” knowledge is being shared in the first place…

One powerful way to talk to a why-learner is with BENEFITS & CONSEQUENCES. Remember a few paragraphs ago where I said, “People will seek YOU out to learn from…you’ll never be ignored/thought of as preachy again”?? That’s what I mean: tell the person directly, “If you learn this ____ (insert positive benefit) will happen, but if you DON’T learn this ___ (insert negative consequence) will happen.”

This is why most of my blog titles are so benefits-focused. Since *most people are why-learners*, I make sure, from jump, to tell people EXACTLY to expect and what they’re going to get out of it.

2: The “WHAT” Learning-Style

“What-learners” are the conceptual people: they always want to know “What’s this really about?” or “What’s the deeper meaning here?”, because for the what learning style, if there’s no deeper concepts, theoretical framework or even symbolism (in the case of a movie), there’s really no point.

One powerful way to talk to a what-learner is with THE HISTORY, like in one of my better posts on time-management where I said: “Time management is played out, and what I mean by that is that traditional ‘time management’ comes out of a world that no longer exists…

…the term dates way back to the *industrial revolution* which was the first time when ‘output’ for the average person was no longer confined to nature…whereas before,

>> work used to be determined by seasons and sunlight hours,

>> holidays by inclement weather and

>> even time itself by looking at the Sun,

…this was the first time when people started using clocks, working in factories and leaving their rural hometowns for major cities.” >> con’t reading

See what I mean? Anytime you talk about the history of something (or where an idea comes from and why), you’re almost guaranteed to satisfy a what-learner’s conceptual hunger. Go back and re-read from the sub-heading that starts, “The Thing Is…” for another example.

3: The HOW Learning-Style

“How-learners” are always asking “So HOW do I actually do this?” and learn best through step-by-step formulas. These are the people who want detailed plans, similar to cooking instructions or a GameFAQs walkthrough…

Obviously, the way talk to a how-learner is by HAND-HOLDING. Even if it sounds silly (or unnecessary), say “First do this, then do this, and then do that…” or somehow CREATE A PROCEDURE that tells them exactly what to do.

For examples, go towards the end of my post on Healthy Selfishness, or watch from 5:30 – 6:30 in my video on the “4 Elements” morning routine.

4: The “WHAT-IF” Learning-Style

And lastly, “What-if learners” are the entrepreneurs of the world: they’re the people who want to go do something *as soon* as they get a valuable idea (to the point of even leaving a seminar midway because they “got what they needed.”). They want to really test ideas out and see if they work…

I’ve found that the best way to speak to a what-if learner is to GIVE THEM PERMISSION. Be succinct, to the point and simply say “Alright, now go out and try and let me know how it works for you,” they’ll appreciate the brevity and feel like you’re more in touch with the real world.

Tying the 4 Styles Together

Now you may be wondering, “So how do I know what style a particular person is before I start teaching?” and the answer is, YOU DON’T, so the best thing to do is incorporate all 4 styles to make sure you’re information speaks to everyone. (Go in this same order – Why, What, How and then What-If – because most people are Why’s, then What’s, so on and so forth.)

Next time you have something to teach, sit down and devise why (play out all the benefits and consequences of knowing/not knowing it), explain what (teach the history or theory), and after you teach it, summarize with a procedure for the how’s, and then give the what-if’s permission get out there and do it.

Before you get started thought, take a second to leave your thoughts in the comment section now. What type of learning style are you? How do YOU like information to be shared so that you learn best???

Peace,
+B

Get your hands on 2 full chapters from my upcoming book,
Doing The Knowledge: Ascending Into Action, FOR FREE:

Subtle Secrets: The Valuable, Hidden Character Traits I USED TO BE ASHAMED OF…

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 16:00:37 +0000

We don’t always offer up the truth about ourselves, do we? The Fugees were on-point when they said, “everybody wears the mask,” because almost ALL of us walk around in this society scared to reveal a thing, don’t we???

It’s almost like Eyes Wide Shut except without all the sex…or WITH all the sex, but without all the money and prestige, and what’s interesting is that the things we’re so hesitant to reveal about ourselves are often the same things that give us our unique power.

Personally speaking, in many cases, the key character traits that made me who I am today are things I used to be ashamed of and confused about when I was younger. Take a second to see what I mean and let me know what you think in the comments section afterwards…

(1) Being a LISTENER

When I was younger, I was ashamed of the fact that I didn’t have much to contribute to group discussions. I was the quiet one, and thought that since everybody else was vocal, outspoken and loud, that I should be that way too.

Little did I know that my mind was more concerned with assimilating and incorporating *new* ideas than with verbalizing the ones I already had, and that being a good listener would lead to me becoming GREAT at structuring and sharing ideas.

Ironically, if you let go of the need to always be the “deep” one, you become the deep one instead. Listening is a hidden character trait that leads to compassion, influence, respect, believability and more…

(2) Being a LEARNER

Similarly, when I was younger, I was ashamed of the fact that I liked reading. I hid my books from other people’s sight, and I thought it was weird that I understood the symbolism in English class when other kids didn’t.

Little did I know that if you limit yourself to the ideas you have direct access to (other kids, parents, people in your neighborhood), you limit yourself to the reality that they exist in, and that being a reader would lead to me constantly aspiring for something greater for myself.

Ironically, some of the things you do while sitting still (reading, meditation, etc.) end up taking you further then the most extroverted activities ever can. Reading is a hidden character trait that leads to eloquence, motivation, creativity and emotional strength.

(3) Being a SEEKER

And lastly, when I was younger, I was ashamed of the fact that I was always looking for meaning. I thought something was wrong with me because I didn’t get the same satisfaction and pleasure out of what seemed to make everyone else content.

Little did I know that my search for depth was the seed of what would ultimately become my life purpose, and that being a seeker would lead to me creating the blog you’re enjoying right now.

Ironically, when we spend a long time looking for something and never find it, we develop a way to create it ourselves. Seeking is a hidden character trait that leads to vision, depth, self-knowledge and contentment in life.

I guess the biggest irony of all is that the things I used to think made me weird and made my life difficult – the things I used to feel so frustrated and conflicted about – are the same things that make me a unique and valuable person.

Another good thing about these “subtle secrets” is that if you’re still reading this, it was probably just one big affirmation for you, but let me know in the comments section now: what are you’re “subtle secrets”? What character traits have you historically despised about yourself that’ve led you to becoming the stronger, more developed you you are now???

Peace,
+B

HEALTH-CONFIDENCE: The Secret, Psychological Component to Physical Wellbeing That NOBODY Seems to Talk About

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 16:00:43 +0000

DISCLAIMER: What you’re about to read is my simple, Hempstead, New York-bumpkin *opinion*. I AM NOT a professional health professional (don’t let the glasses or decent vocabulary fool you), so what follows is IN NO WAY meant to replace ANYTHING you’d get from your good ol’ family doctor, therapist (or “shrink” if you’re really nuts), nutritional consultant or any other licensed practitioner. Nothing in this blogpost (or anything my crazy behind says on this blog in general) constitutes medical advice.

Now I know that YOU personally don’t need to be told that, but remember: we’re on the internet (and remember those two girls who tried sue McDonald’s for obesity, too). Giving information like this without a disclaimer can be like having sex without a condom…or worse. So for the record – if it applies – I ain’t got jack-diddly to get sued for in the first place, so do us both a favor and don’t even try it. Onward…

WE ALL KNOW how important confidence is…ask a woman what attracts her to a man, a sales-rep what closes the deal or any life-coach (whatever the heck that is) what he teaches people to be, and your research’ll bring you to the common theme of CONFIDENCE. Confidence, confidence confidence confidence…

But for some odd reason, most of us fail to draw this same parallel when it comes to our own physical wellbeing. Simply put, it’s obvious that just like we need SELF-confidence in order to succeed professionally or socially, we also need what I call “HEALTH-confidence” in order to sustain long-term physical shape and constitution, but

You literally need a certain type of faith in your body’s natural inclination towards healing: a certain overall positive mental attitude ABOUT health that most people are lacking these days (both young and old, mind you).

Unfortunately, if you examine how most people think and talk about health, *they’re doing the exact opposite.* So let’s get into specifics and see what WE can do to protect ourselves:

Health-Confidence vs. Health-Anxiety

First off, the opposite of health-confidence is something I refer to as “health anxiety”: a fearful apprehension towards (or general feeling of helplessness about) one’s overall wellbeing.

A major way this manifests itself is by avoidance, like a few weeks ago when a friend said to me, “Yeah B, I have this pain in my side, but I’m scared to go check it out…what if the doctor tells me it’s something serious and I have to get all these weird operations and take tons of drugs????” (I’m not lying…that quote’s basically verbatim)

But another way this manifests itself by amplification, like when I told someone I work with that I was tired, and he said, “Oh yeah? Well y’know, you might be anemic because of low this-that-and-the-third. If I was you I’d go to a doctor and check that out…”

People with health-anxiety tend to blow minor aches and pains out of proportion and see every little tick as an opportunity to focus on the disaster of terminal illness. On the other hand, people with health-confidence know that the human body is not invincible, so even when small issues come up, they stay calm and maintain a sense of serenity about their situation.

(The idea here is to catch yourself whenever you’re worrying about something minor incessantly and STOP.)

Health-Optimism vs. Health-Pessimism

In addition to this, some people are generally optimistic about *the idea* of being healthy (they’re positive and interested whenever the subject comes up) whereas some people feel like it’s a drag…like it’s “too complex” or too much of a negative bore to even bother with in the first place (the “eat your vegetables” syndrome, but the grown-up version).

For instance, my previous employer was near 70 and “still kicking” as they say. He would work just as hard (if not harder) then the rest of us, and was outspoken about the power and benefits of a healthy lifestyle: “I knew that if I just took care of my body, ate somewhat decently and got my exercise, I’d be more than okay….I’d be fine.” and he now had the Cenegenics body (the energy, not the muscles) to prove it.

“Health-optimistic” people are genuinely interested in being a healthy person and it shows. They actively seek out the information that’ll them help you be strongest they can be, and apply it with a positive mood, so you should to: be lighthearted and cheerful about your entire approach, and you’ll be more than okay…you’ll be fine.

The Danger of Disease-Prone Thinking

And lastly, some people have what I call “disease-prone thinking,” where they THINK of health simply as the absence of disease (rather than the expression of life). Since their entire “health knowledge-base” is essentially a language of illness, they approach the whole thing from a deficit.

Think about how medicine is marketed (watch some commercials), how health-food is explained (“this fruit has ‘cancer-fighting’ properties”) and the type of sex-education we get in schools (don’t get me started), it’s no wonder so many people are such defeatist about it. We’re literally conditioned to think about “nasty, deadly diseases” anytime anything health-related comes up.

For instance, a lot of people associate sex with dirtiness, pregnancy, STD’s and religious trangressions, but NOT a lot of people know that it releases endorphins (the body’s natural pain killers), boosts creativity and that regular orgasms lead to increased self-esteem.

Not a lot of people know that regular exercise BOOSTS sexual self-esteem

Not a lot of people know that apples have protein in them (read the book Fruits & Farinacea for more.)

Not a lot of people know that massage before an athletic event enhances speed and power and makes the athlete more flexible and less prone to injury…

GET WHERE I’M GOING HERE??? Our society gives us a syntax about health that’s disease-oriented, so we have to condition ourselves to think more abundantly towards the whole thing.

One way you can do this is by learning things that are uplifting in nature…by sticking to knowledge that’s positive and success-oriented (not scary and failure-oriented). It’s called “towards-motivation.”

Qualifications and Conclusion

Qualification #1: I am NOT saying that you should “just be confident and positive” and do absolutely nothing. Educate yourself, seek counsel from health professionals you trust and follow up on high-quality advice.

Qualification #2: I am NOT saying that you should be indifferent towards people who *are* actually sick (just because they may have less positive attitude). If you know someone who’s terminally ill or going through something, being there for emotional support can make a big difference, and

Qualification #3: I am NOT saying that you should be dismissive towards someone’s genuine concerns or lack of knowledge. If someone’s uneducated but open-minded to a different point of view, take it as an opportunity to enlighten them in a compassionate way.

However, what I *AM* saying is that health is subtle MINDSET first and that, in our culture, we literally have a “disease-oriented society” you need to disassociate yourself from. (Think movies like Contagion…the billboard for it reads: “Don’t talk to anyone, don’t touch anyone.”)

Like always, your mindset determines your approach: if you don’t have the psychological component in place, you’re not going to do the right things and you’re not even going to be motivated to find out what the right things are in the first place. Without health-confidence, you’ll be “locked-down”… you’ll trapped and addicted to your own self-destructive behaviors, and won’t even know why.

Have faith in your ability to stay healthy and strong over the long-term. Know that if you simply do the right things and follow sound advice, you’ll be alright, and don’t assume (or feel destined) that something terrible is going happen just because that’s been the fate of people around you…

Again, have faith in your body’s natural inclination towards health, and have faith in your own knowledge-base and the resources you have available to you to help.

Peace,
+B

Your World Serves as a Reflection of Your Own Psychology…

Bryan Ogilvie — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 16:00:51 +0000

The first thing I want to say is that this post really isn’t for YOU pers se, cause I know you know this stuff already. It’s “for you” only as (1) a reminder to keep you in the right frame of mind and (2) as verbal ammunition – or facebook wall-post ammunition – to get the right idea across to the person in your life who needs to hear it. Let’s get started…

“One of my spiritual beliefs is that a man’s world serves as a reflection to his own psychology, meaning that the positives we notice in other people are, at a deeper level, signs indicating our own strengths and the character traits we can realistically aspire towards.

The corollary to that however is that the negatives we notice in other people also indicate our own faults, and in some cases, the “final destination” our current behavior is leading us towards.

Why Learn This Style of Thought???

I like thinking like this because it encourages me to spend LESS time criticizing or condemning other people as and more time simply OBSERVING them while reflecting on how their strengths and weaknesses relate back (or can relate back) to me.

(Even Confucius once said: “When we see men of worth, we should think of equaling them; when we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves…”)

Once you master this style of thinking, you get leverage over your limitations you’d otherwise never parallel. If you DON’T learn this style of thinking, you get other people’s anger, disrespect and hurtful actions consuming you and destroying your quality of life.

Another bad thing happens when you don’t do this: you’ll get intimidated at times when you should be uplifted. Instead of “seeing men of worth and thinking of equaling them,” – thinking of how to absorb their power into your own (like Rogue from the X-men) – you’ll just sit their and wonder what’s wrong with you.

Know that even though I have a “self-development” blog, in real life, I don’t spend my time and energy telling other people who they should be or how they should think. In most cases, I’m just the silent observer. I think you should do the same because it allows you to find much more opportunities in life while sheltering your personal experience from hurt, loss and unnecessary sacrifices.

Be a “Detective Psychologist”

A big key to this is being what I call a “detective psychologist”: being obsessed with understanding how success-prone, positive people think as well as how failure-prone, negative people think. A detective psychologist is able to delineate between these two types and articulate those differences consciously.

You can do this generally (as in “Why are some people generally optimistic while others are pessimistic?”) or more specifically (“Why are some people always broke or in debt whereas others always seem to have cash on them?”), but the point is to START DOING IT.

For instance: I’ve found that someone who stays focused and manages their time IS that way because they believe in the purpose of what they’re doing and they enjoy the tasks involved. Someone who stays procrastinating and only manages their laziness IS that way because they misunderstand what their work means (that it may “expose” their *assumed* lack of personal value to the world, for instance).

Someone who’s a good communicator is generally concerned with what the person he’s talking to understands, while someone who’s a poor communicator is generally more concerned with what the person he’s talking to perceives about HIM personally.

We could go on for days (people with consistently high-quality relationships want to build their partner up, people with consistently low-quality relationships want a partner for their own selfish gratification, etc. etc.) but I think you see what I mean…

Point is, don’t be too focused on just, “learning from other people’s mistakes,” (which is good too), but more so on exploring the psychology that motivates other people’s behavior and attracts their experiences, and seeing how that reflects and corresponds with your own thinking.

“Learning from other’s mistakes” implies, “Oh, he did X so I gotta make sure to NEVER do that…” (it’s simplistic).

“Reflection” implies, “Oh, he did ‘X’ because he sees situations like ‘Y’, and really, I do that too sometimes, in my own way, because I also ‘Z’…I need to chill.” (it’s more intricate and leads to actionable insights).

Remember, a man’s world serves as a reflection to his own psychology. Take care and let me know what you think anytime…

Peace,
+B

The 3 Key Areas of Self-Development: A Simple & Helpful Framework for Measuring Your Progress & Teaching Others Successfully (FREE Diagram & Exercise)

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 16:00:44 +0000

SELF-DEVELOPMENT GETS OVERWHELMING SOMETIMES, doesn’t it??? I mean, if you’re like me, sometimes just one good trip to the bookstore or just one good session online (OR just one, simple halfway-decent blog) results in an AVALANCHE ofinteresting information you wish you could just download into your brain like Neo did in the Matrix (“I know kung-fu…”)

Seriously…if you’re like me, you just want to become the best “you” you can possibly be, but with all the time-management techniques, self-esteem boosters, motivational quotes, health and nutrition advice, new-age metaphysical concepts, Afrocentric thinking, “for women” series, “manhood training,” classical stuff that’s a 100 years old and new stuff that came out 5 minutes ago, it gets hard figuring out where to even start.

Enter “The 3 Key Intelligences”:

Luckily, my father recently shared something with me he calls “The 3 Key Areas of Life,” to help simplify things. He’s not *the first* person I heard this from mind you (all the good stuff comes from my Mom anyway), but he is the first to sit down with me and really school my behind on it. The 3 Key Areas of life are:

1.) Health & Wellness (everything pertaining to your physical wellbeing),

2.) Career & Money (everything pertaining to your financial wellbeing), and

3.) Love (everything pertaining to your relationships).

“Once you have these 3 things, YOU’RE SET: you’ll be happy and feel like you can accomplish anything” he said, “but whenever you DON’T have just one of these 3 things, something feels off. You won’t necessarily understand it, but something will feel missing and you won’t be at 100%.”

Now what made this powerful wasn’t that it just made sense (which it does…more on that later), but that – from my years of writing professionally about personal growth – I know that these three fields actually account for around 70% of ALL sales in the self-development industry.

Let me say that again: the vast majority of REAL money being made in ALL of the self-help books, tapes, programs, lectures and consultations relate to one of these 3 fields (or any of their logical denominations). The actual term for it is “the three ‘mega-niches,’” because this is where people are spending their hard-earned cash.

I call it “The 3 Key Intelligences” because (1) these areas are a good yardstick to measure your own progess, (2) if you’re looking to teach, these three areas are the BEST places to focus your energy and (3) calling it “intelligences” just makes it sound more sophisticated.

Also, if you’re like me, you’ll probably find yourself relatively strong (or just “okay”) in 1 or 2 areas, but needing a little improvement in others, and THIS IS NORMAL. Let’s get started with a quick explanation and then go into depth with a great exercise…

Intelligence #1: Health & Wellness

…which you find in almost anything that pertains to diet, weight loss, vegetarianism, exercise plans, yoga, pilates, etc., etc. I touched on this with posts like “Why I Became Vegetarian” and “How to Eat Healthier AUTOMATICALLY Without Any Conscious Effort” (as well as the video series I did with Nutritional Consultant Hondo Solomon). You can also try recommended scrolls like Afrikan Holistic Health and “Fruits & Farinacea: The Proper Food of Man”.

What makes this one interesting is that IT’S THE ONLY ONE YOU’RE BORN HAVING (excluding those of us born with rare diseases, of course), so consequently, it’s the one most people take completely for granted until it’s too late. Don’t make the same, tragic mistake.

Here, ask yourself questions like: “How confident am I in my overall health?”, “What type of small changes can I start doing to improve?” and lastly, “What do I know about health that I can share with other people?“

Intelligence #2: Finance & Career

…which you find in anything that pertains to professional success, money-management, wealth-building, real estate, internet marketing, forex trading and even time-management (which is all me of course). I touch on this with posts like “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind (Audio-Book Excerpts)” and almost everything I do on getting focused. You can also try recommended scrolls like “The Millionaire Next Door“ and “Living Well On One Income…In a TWO-Income World.”

What makes this one interesting is that IT SETS THE PARAMETERS for how well you enjoy the others. As Norwegian Playwright Henrik Ibsen once said: “Home life ceases to be free and beautiful as soon as it is founded on borrowing and debt…”

So here, ask yourself questions like, “How financially secure do I feel about my (and my family’s) future?” “What type of things will lead me towards economic strength?” and lastly, “What type of skills can I teach to help someone else become more of a financial success???” (This includes public speaking, frugality, etc….think outside of the box if you have to.)

Intelligence #3: Love & Relationships

…which you find in anything that pertains to (obviously) dating advice, marriage counseling, sexuality, etc. etc. and also parenting. I touched on this with posts like “7 Ways to Let Go of a Past Relationship So You Can MOVE ON…” and “WHAT DO WOMEN WANT???” You can also try recommended scrolls like “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” (more on this next week) and “Building Your Mate’s Self-Esteem”

What makes this one interesting is that IT’S THE ONLY ONE YOU CAN’T CONTROL. True love (not romantic obsession) only comes around once or twice in a lifetime, and that’s if you’re lucky…because for some people it never comes at all.

So here, ask yourself questions like: “How confident am I in my ability to attract (and keep) a high-quality partner?” “What type of things can I start doing NOW to improve the relationship I already have?” and lastly “What type of things can I teach OTHER people that’ll help them in their dating life or marriage???”

But What About Spirituality, Psychology, etc.???

Now you might be thinking, “Bryan, that sounds good, but what about deeper stuff like psychology and spirituality??? Aren’t those the ‘bigger’ fields that kind of ‘oversee’ these other ones you seem to be talking about?” and my answer is that, even when people cover or research information from those angles, THE RESULTS they’re usually hoping to obtain still come back to these top-three major concerns.

For example, in The (so-called) Secret, almost ALL of the “law of attraction” techniques were explained as conducive to attracting “the perfect mate” (whatever that is, cause NOBODY’s perfect), eliminating a serious illness or attaining financial security (hence the big red Ferrari).

And even with the Think Right Now programs I offer (which are strictly psychological), almost ALL of the products relate to success in business or health-oriented ways, with titles like “I am Smoke Free Now”(health), “Eating For Excellent Health Now!” (health), “Conquering Social Anxiety Now!”(social/career), “Anger-Management Now!”(relationships), “Fearless Public Speaking Now!” (career) and “Accelerated Sales Success Now!” (money), just to name a few…

Be truly honest with yourself and you’ll realize that the REAL reason you study almost ANYTHING psychological, spiritual, etc. etc. ultimately relates back to these three fundamentals. (Even Bobby Hemmitt was selling “Angelic Stimulus Packages” at one time. Remember that?)

Just think for a second: what brings people back to church after DECADES of a more decadent, depraved lifestyle??? RIGHT…usually a life-threatening disease or severe financial turmoil. When do people call out for God and start praying??? When they seriously think they’re going to die!

What I’m really saying here is that these 3 mega-fields are the basic DRIVES that motivate all of our other searching. It’s not that anything else isn’t important, just that it’s human nature to use those other things as conduits towards our more primary needs.

If it feels like I’m trying to confine you by saying “there’s only 3 key areas to study in self-development,” know that this is a framework primarily about HOLDING YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE for real, actual results. What makes the keys powerful is that they’re the most *objective* areas of study…

Anyone can decide be “spiritual” tonight and return to being a *complete asshole* by tomorrow morning. The 3 keys require you to be empirical and unprejudiced about your own progress, as well as the progress of those around you and the quality of their information. So if someone’s hesitant to consider this idea, they’re probably also hesitant to be more disciplined about their overall personal growth and actual utility of their ideas.

Free Diagram to Pull This All Together

So here’s a pretty cool diagram you can use to put the 3 keys to work. Use the “goals” section in each area to describe what you want to change, the “knowledge” section to describe a thing or two you already know and then SHARE IT WITH SOMEBODY…download the exercise here.

I say teach somebody because that’ll reinforce what you know as well as the fact that you really DO know a lot of things (even if you’re not consciously giving yourself credit for it now).

Also, when I say you should be focused on these fields, I’m not talking about ULTIMATE PERFECTION. For instance, if you’re not in a great financial place right now, but you’re working to get there and you’re on that path, that counts. If you don’t have somebody special, but you’re getting rid of somebody not so special anymore – becoming clearer on what you need and want – that counts too.

This is a framework for growth, not something to beat yourself up about, and remember, anytime you’re sharing knowledge and information, always relate it back to one of these three mega-niches… because this is the type of stuff people are ACTIVELY searching for on their own accord.

Peace,
+B

CAN FEAR BE PRODUCTIVE??? (3 Things Every Driven, Fully-Engaged Person is Literally AFRAID Of…& Why YOU SHOULD BE TOO)

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 16:00:02 +0000

In everything self-help, people are constantly dissing fear: all the experts, gurus and consultants (and even little ol’ me sometimes) talk about “overcoming fear,” how “fear is an illusion,” the “10 steps to eliminate fear for good,” etc. etc. as if it’s productive-person enemy #1…

So just the other day it occurred to me that most of us “self-developmenters” (I’ll continue to make up words for the rest of my life, so get used to it) never think about how FEAR CAN WORK IN OUR FAVOR…that there may be a few ways in which fear can actually make us MORE driven, ambitious, creative and efficient without us even being aware to the fact.

So – “generating off the headpiece” like I always love to do – here’s FOUR instances my black-behind thought of where being afraid of something ultimately led people I know to more productivity and SUCCESS then they would otherwise obtain (at least from my limited perspective). Check it out:

Productive Fear #1: Ending Up Just Like “What’s-Her-Face?”

Every productive person I know has someone they work with, someone they went to school with or someone in their family (or all 3 and then some) that’s THE DIRECT OPPOSITE of what they’re aspiring towards, and that person motivates them in reverse.

Like 50 Cent once said: “Daaamn homie…in high school you was the maaaaan homie…what the eff happened to you???”. Literally every ambitious person I know can relate.

…seriously though: EVERY productive, on-point, self-motivated individual I ever met has someone they see (at least from time to time) that makes them virtually scared about what’ll happen if they don’t “pull up their shoes,” and they REVERSE ENGINEER motivation out of that bad example.

So I ask you: who’s your nightmare-motivator? Take a look at how they talk, carry themselves, think and behave and then simply do the direct opposite.

Productive Fear #2: Being Dependent

On a deeper note, a lot of productive and accomplished people are also afraid of being dependent on someone else to take care of them. If you listen closely, you’ll hear a lot of focused people saying things like, “I just don’t want anybody else to control me.”

Now if this sounds negative to you, remember that this fear usually comes from a direct experience of what being controlled looks like on a day-to-day basis. These people are motivated to NOT GO BACK to something destructive that they’re intimately familiar with. It’s called wisdom…

Me? I don’t judge anybody, and although I don’t have a direct experience of being dependent like that, I know the power of learning from other people’s mistakes, and I suggest you do the same.

Productive Fear #3: Staying The Same

This one really applies to me the most of all: productive people are AFRAID of staying the same. They say to themselves, “I don’t want to look down the road, and after 10 years still be making tacos and playing video games with Norbert and Winston.”

When I was in high school, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life going to parties and chasing girls (because it felt pointless), and when I was in college, I didn’t want spend the rest of my life going to activist meetings and organizing protests (because it felt futile and victimizing). And to be honest, now that I’m here, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life blogging either (it feels good…but I also feel like there has to be some greater call for me too).

Maybe it all boils down to a fear of being trapped: I want to have new talents and skills, not just be a writer and I want to travel and see the world, not just live (and die) in America. All I can say is, once I begin to master something, I get scared that that mastery will become the circumference of my life-experience, so I start channeling my energies in a new direction…

So take a second to think about all this. If any of it makes you go, “Y’know Bryan, these fears really stem from being critical of others,” or “Maybe they just have trust-issues from childhood, and they need to dissolve their Ego into Universal Cosmic Non-Beingness” remember the bottom line: THESE PEOPLE ARE OUT THERE GETTING IT…

I know people doing all types of creative, magnificent things to reengineer their lives and get themselves and their family in a better situation. Take it as you want, but the older I get, the more results-oriented and less ethics-concerned my thinking becomes, so I have nothing but support for them.

My main point though is that productive people are simply AFRAID of the things un-productive people are content with: they’re not necessarily better or more talented, but their fears often drive their behavior down an alternate path.

Now leave a brother some love in the comment section: which of the “productive fears” above resonate with you most? Are there any other things you’re afraid of that help you to stay focused? If so, what are they???

Peace,
+B

5 Books Every Productive Person NEEDS to Read…That AREN’T Actually About Productivity

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 16:00:39 +0000

As you’ve probably noticed, I love recommending scrolls (suggesting great reads), but – as you’ve ALSO probably noticed – I’ve been slacking on my game for a minute now…

I haven’t written an actual, unique book review in about 2 or 3 months now, so let’s get back into the flow by mixing it up a little: a list that’s ALL fiction, social critique or otherwise not really about productivity at all…books that don’t talk about getting focused, but cover ideas so “ingrediential” to it that every productive person NEEDS to them on their bookshelf.

Enjoy, and like always, don’t hesitate to leave a comment recommending some great reads yourself.

5 Non-Productivity Productivity Books

(1) JONATHAN LIVINGSTON SEAGULL by Richard Bach: the classic novella ( or “mini-novel”) about a talented, ambitious seagull learning to fly amongst mediocre, typical seagulls that can’t even envision a goal beyond finding their next pathetic meal…

“How much more there is now to living! Instead of our drab slogging forth and back to the fishing boats, there’s reason to life! We can lift ourselves out of ignorance, we can find ourselves as creatures of excellence and intelligence and skill. We can be free! We can learn to fly!”

This book parallels some of my work on being unique and living a life of metamorphosis, even when surrounded by those with no aspiration for anything greater. The fact that it’s a short read (as in less than an hour) makes it all the better, so click here for more…

(2) ATLAS SHRUGGED Ayn Rand: the well-known, best-selling novel about entrepreneurial genius learning to thrive despite a parasitic environment of governmental control…

“Hordes of savages have never been an obstacle to men who carry the banner of the mind.”

“Never feel guilt for that which you should feel glory: you are not a sacrificial animal. Refuse to be punished for the sin of your intelligence, or to perish at the alters of mindless brutes…”

This book parallels some of my writings on healthy selfishness, self-direction and internal power, because – slightly different from Bach’s work – Rand talks about sheltering your brilliance from exploitation. Check it out for more…

(3)EMPIRE OF ILLUSION by Christopher Hedges: a non-fiction social critique that defines America AS a culture of deception. Hedges details the various parts of our world that slowly gear ALL OF US towards a collective, subtly agreed-upon form of delusion.

“We ask…to be fed lies. We demand lies. The skillfully manufactured images and slogans that flood the airwaves and infect our political discourse MASK REALITY, and we do not protest…”

“The worse reality becomes, the less we want to hear of it, and the more we distract ourselves with the squalid pseudo-events of celebrity break ups, gossip and trivia.”

This book parallels some of my writings on eliminating distraction, the extinction of intelligence and how to avoid the mediocrity that literally ENTRENCHES our “kindergarten society.” Read this book for an intricate understanding of just how devastating our world is. Click here for more…

(4) FOUR ARGUMENTS FOR THE ELIMINATION OF TELEVISION by Jerry Mander: another non-fiction social critique, this time focusing specifically on the advent of television and how it’s DESTROYED our ability to introspect and understand the world around us in any sort of real, organic way.

“Television offers neither rest nor stimulation…it inhibits your ability to think, but DOES NOT lead to freedom of mind, relaxation or renewal. It leads to a more exhausted mind: you may have time out from prior obsessive thought patterns, but that’s as far as television goes.”

This book parallels some of my old work on “Sovereign Thought” and how television destroys thinking, in that it explains how the advent of mass media marks the redefinition of existence itself (through the eyes of highly-paid corporate marketers). Today, virtually everything that almost everyone knows, thinks, feels and experiences has – at some point – been filtered by insatiable corporate agendas for “profitable” manipulation of the human psyche. Click here for more…

(5) BUILDING YOUR MATE’S SELF-ESTEEM by Dennis & Barbara Rainey: the only traditional, “self-help” book on this list, which goes in-depth about how relationships are really platforms for both partners to build one another’s confidence and self-worth.

“Each of us need someone to tell us we value…we want to be accepted without mask, facade or veneer. We want to be loved APART from our performance, totally and completely.”

This book parallels to some of my posts on dating (WHAT DO WOMEN WANT???, Choose a Woman Who Chooses You, and that video on building healthy relationships) in that it talks about relationships from the standpoint of self-development and self-knowledge…click here for more.

Hopefully these books gave you some ideas. I guess the main theme is that productivity is part of a WHOLISTIC process: that other things you study (whether it be relationships, dating or even your political perspective) can help amplify your ability to get focused and stay driven over a longer period of time.

Peace,
+B

DON’T ALLOW YOURSELF TO GET INTIMIDATED, Because It’s Not a Competition…

Bryan Ogilvie — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 16:00:53 +0000

Check this out…it’s an image of what my website first looked like when I originally got started way back in 2007:

…and here’s the first video I ever put up on YouTube:

I’m not showing you this so you can see how far I’ve come, but so YOU can remind yourself that we all need to start somewhere.

Be Inspired, Not Compared…

On your path to be more successful at anything (a blog, a musical instrument, your dating life or anything else), let the people who are already successful in that be a source of inspiration, NOT a source of comparison, because – like my father would always tell me – “No matter how good you are at something, there’ll ALWAYS be somebody better.”

He didn’t say this to me so I would feel defeated…he said this to me so that I wouldn’t get caught up in measuring my own progress against an impossible standard of people who were already ahead.

There’s no logic to not feeling motivated simply because you’re not one of the best: there will ALWAYS be somebody who paints better paintings, writes better songs, generates more revenue or has more karate trophies in his living room then you do. Just accept this as the reality and give it your best anyway.

Now you may be thinking to yourself, “What if I’m just starting out, and I’m THE WORST person I know???” And the answer is that this still applies because your goal is to better yourself, not to be better then anybody else out there.

It’s not a competition, and even in things where it IS a competition, it’s still not a competition… Let me explain:

A Sports Analogy:

When you ask NFL players why it is they won a game as opposed to an equally-capable opponent, you get answers detailing their mental state:

“Well, they were a great team too, we just wanted it more.”

When you ask NBA stars about their performance on a particular night, you get answers referring to their drive or team-dynamics:

“I knew I had to come through for the team, so I gave it my all,” or, “We came together and decided that we were going to take it just one play at a time.”

Typically, it’s the commentators, sports analysts and fans – the people OUTSIDE the game – who focus more on comparing statistics and technicalities. The people out there making it happen know that the real game is inside themselves…

So with whatever it is you have going on, don’t allow yourself to get intimidated. Just “play your position”: learn from the people ahead of you, set realistic, feasible goals based on your particular situation and focus only on being better then what you once were. See the motivation section of this blog for more…

Peace,
+B

Conquering Social Anxiety NOW!!!

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 16:00:04 +0000

“You and I both know that social anxiety, with its emotional and physical symptoms that hit you like a runaway freight train, is one of the toughest challenges in the personal development field. But yet, I’m here to tell you this:

With what we know about the human brain and new thought and behavior modification techniques, social anxiety is NOT that “unstoppable force” in your life you may have resigned yourself to “managing” as best you can.

On the contrary, it’s time for you to break free from social anxiety completely and never look back.

>> Even if you’ve struggled with social anxiety for years or decades on end…

>> Even if you’ve had little luck with talk therapy, group therapy, medication or herbal relaxants, and…

>> Even if you feel utterly trapped in a life of near TOTAL avoidance and see no way out of it…

Conquering Social Anxiety Now! Can Help

The Conquering Social Anxiety Now! program can help you break the chains and show the world the true you: comfortable in your own skin, self-assured, engaging and more than able to hold your own in any social, scholastic or professional setting…

Imagine the ability to erase “stage fright,” doubt and insecurity with confidence, poise and personal power…Imagine sharing your true personality and talents…not being afraid to express your thoughts, ideas, sense of humor and opinions…and have people love you for it.

…and it’s all now at your fingertips!”

What you just read was from the TRN’s Conquering Social Anxiety Now!, a webpage I *personally recommend* if any of the above statements resonated with you.

To discover more about the program, read the 100′s of testimonials and success-stories and make social anxiety vanish like it was never even there, click here now.

Peace,
+B

HEALTHY SELFISHNESS??? (3 Steps to Live the Life You Deserve WITHOUT Feeling Guilty For It)

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 16:00:04 +0000

In the book Healthy Selfishness: Getting the Life You Deserve Without the Guilt, coauthors Richard and Rachael Heller explain how a particular type of selfishness is good…that the selfishness that leads to honoring yourself and establishing boundaries on what (and how much) you’ll tolerate from other people is a healthy, virtuous and indispensable skill…

Unfortunately though, it’s a skill most of us never develop because we’ve all been taught to be self-sacrificing: in one way or another, we’ve all been taught to believe that there’s actually something wrong with defining our own needs and expecting others to respect them.

So it’s pretty deep: while on one hand we live in a culture that teaches us to be self-indulgent – to be consumers who constantly want things – we also live in a culture that teaches us to be self-denying…to be donators who constantly GIVE AWAY every last little bit of whatever we have. So…

>> We ignore our own desires in order to help someone else get theirs,

>> We carry the burden of someone else’s ignorance and mistakes because we “love” them, and

>> We harbor guilt towards ourselves just for occasionally thinking of putting someone else second and ourselves first.

What’s also interesting is that the most self-indulgent are usually dependent upon and parasitic towards the most self-denying: it’s a yin-yang thing where one always capitalizes off of the other, but since they naturally attract, the dynamic ends only when the “host” steps up in a courageous, assertive and (so-called) “selfish” way.

Some Examples

Looking at a romantic relationship like this from the outside, most people think, “Dag, that’s messed up – why is she treating him like that?”, but the bottom line is HE’S ALLOWING HER TO.

HE (not she) has to realize that no one benefits from his sacrifices…that all he’s doing is hurting himself while reinforcing her inappropriate behavior. By failing to stand up for himself, HE PREVENTS HER from facing reality and learning her own lessons.

Likewise, if a business owner employs a lazy friend who only hurts profits by barely doing anything at all, he’s not doing the bum a favor by keeping him on payroll. His best bet is to sit down with the man and let him know he only has a short period of time to get his act together, or it’s a wrap.

A 3-Step Method for Healthy Selfishness

So if you’re personal productivity, personal health or personal life is currently being inhibited (and exploited) by someone else’s laziness, try this 3-step technique to bring things back into balance:

(1) First, get a full understanding of the sacrifices your making: don’t brush anything off as small…

Remember, if you’re noticing it now, chances are it’ll add up, multiply and eventually become something much bigger before you even know it…so if something (or someone) is annoying you now – even if it’s slight – honor that notification: project into the future what’ll happen if you don’t change things now, and think about the positives that can occur if you do.

(2) Second, be extremely present the next time it goes down: notice the details of everything that happens, AS it happens…

Take stock of the way you feel, the specific things their doing (or saying), etc. This way when you speak to them about it you can be concrete and objective. You’ll also come up with a better strategy and get more clarity on the situation…strengthening your resolve to actually change it.

(3) Third is the action, which in my experience usually just requires a serious talk.

If you stay specific and non-critical about it – if you explain WHY it’s a problem for you objectively, remain calm and speak with respect – you’ll get respect in return.

Use a lot of “I” statements (“When you do ‘x,’, I feel ‘y’ because ‘z,’” etc.). This lowers the person’s defenses, making it easier for them to truly hear what you’re getting at.

In Worst Case Scenarios:

I’ve found that most people are generally good-hearted and understanding: they’re not walking around with an agenda to “eff” with you purposely (unless they feel you hurt them first), so step to someone on a positive level and you’ll get a positive response…especially when it’s about things you deserve in the first place.

But in worse-case scenarios, my best option was to leave the situation altogether (end a relationship, quit a job, etc.). I’m not saying it’s ALWAYS between these two extremes (either a quick talk or just leave), but in my experience, people either respect you or they don’t, so when you’re feeling exploited, you have to force them to show that card.

Whenever I was in a situation where I’d mention an issue and not even see them try to make things better, there was always a long, drawn-out series of attempts by me trying to make things better BY MYSELF only to ultimately realize “Hey, this circumstance (or person) is never going to change: if I don’t remove myself from it (or them) NOW, I’m just going to end up in an even worse position then I already am..”

Here’s a link to get your copy of Healthy Selfishness: Getting the Life You Deserve Without the Guilt, and lastly, in the words of Richard Heller, “Respect your needs and feelings, even when others do not…ESPECIALLY when others do not.”

Peace,
+B

MEDIOCRITY IS THE NEW ‘BLACK PLAGUE’: It’s Literally Ingrained Into Our Culture & You Need to AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 16:00:09 +0000

You know how people say “40′s is the new 30″ or “30′s is the new 20″? Well, I say mediocrity is the new “I’m chilling”, and although I’m not big on using “black” in a negative context, it’s so damn close to that epidemic plague of the Middle Ages I feel I need to…

Mediocrity, aimlessness and indifference have become so embedded into our culture that it’s virtually an invisible norm, breeding its viral infection into every man, woman and child no matter how skillful or brilliant they inherently are.

We can go on for days about where this all stems from: maybe from living in an “empire of illusion” that conditions us to deny reality and focus more on entertainment and distractions than on actual results while programming us for consumerism instead of production, or maybe from a backwards education system that encourages passivity and submission rather than true intelligence, or just from being raised in a “kindergarten society” that devalues maturity and adulthood itself.

…or maybe it’s all this “ignit” rap music circulating around, but I’m not really dwelling on causes today, because I just want to tell you to AVOID THE PLAGUE AT ALL COSTS.

Just like there’s air pollution, water pollution and even noise pollution, this contagious epidemic of mediocrity is a form of THOUGHT pollution, so if you’re not vigilant against it, it’ll occupy your mind quicker than an unemployed college graduate on Wall Street.

How to Stop the Plague From Reaching YOU…

I honestly believe now that you need to make an oath to yourself to start saying things like: “I’ve let go of settling for less than the best I can be…,” “I am an action-oriented person,” “My best friends are people that are ambitious, loyal and wise…”, as much as you possibly can, every single day, because these relatively simple statements are the bedrock for an attitude and state of mind impervious to all the bullshit.

This might sound a little “out there,” but you need to sit down and make a conscious decision about the type of thoughts you need to be thinking, and then devise a plan to make them SUB-conscious thoughts you start AUTOMATICALLY thinking by default for the rest of your life.

What type of beliefs, ideas and values will draw you closer to where you want to go? How can you find ways to INSTALL these thoughts deep into your brain so you can think (and ACT ON) them without effort???

My answer? Think Right Now Intl.’s Accelerated Success Conditioning Software: the “Thought and Behavior Modification Programs” I’ve been using on a daily basis for the last FIVE YEARS to literally rip through my brain and rid it of all the disease-infected, bacteria-breeding limiting beliefs and disempowering attitudes I’ve picked up from the world around me.

Your subconscious mind is the key. Simply learn and install the key beliefs and attitudes of the world’s most effective, productive and happiest people, and you’ll think like they think, feel how they feel, and, most importantly, take the actions they take to live the life that THEY live…the best part being that it’ll all feel completely natural.

Again, mediocrity is the new black plague, and the only vaccination you have is in shielding your mind from all the foolishness and harnessing its sacred, subconscious power to finally activate your unlimited potential. Join me on this magnificent journey now.

Peace,
+B

The 7 Deadly Sins of Self-Motivation: Common Habits That Literally ROB People of Their Ambition and Drive…

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 16:00:01 +0000

Here’s a quick list of what I call “The 7 Deadly Sins of Self-Motivation”: the most prevalent ways we tend to SABOTAGE our focus and hunger before it ever gets the chance to build up in the first place…

It’s interesting: we spend so much time trying to “be motivated” that we don’t even catch ourselves wasting all the motivation we already have stored inside. If you get nothing else from this post, know that just as you need to add motivation INTO your life, you also need to REMOVE the ignorant tendencies secretly squandering it away…

Think of it as frugality applied to your ambition instead of your bank account. Let’s analyze the top 7 ways we waste these motivational “dollars” and some methods to stop it from happening…

Motivational-Sin #1 is CERTAINTY

…or the ignorance of trying to be completely assured before taking action. This sin keeps you trapped because you can’t be certain of something you don’t know, and you simply can’t know something you haven’t already had experience with. (Think about it.)

So instead, spend your motivation on TAKING RISKS in an educated way. Let go of hesitancy and be courageous enough to act in the absence of a foolproof guarantee.

Motivational-Sin #2 is APPROVAL-SEEKING

…or the ignorance of trying to make your goals and creative work acceptable to others “from jump.” This sin keeps you limited because if you’re worried about how your project looks at from its inception you’ll never experiment or push past your creative boundaries.

So instead, spend your motivation on “FIRST DRAFTS.” Give yourself freedom to explore and don’t worry about editing or refining things until you have something going.

Motivational-Sin #3 is TASK-MAGNIFICATION

…or the ignorance of making every assignment an overwhelming test, big deal or detailed enterprise. This sin keeps you in anxiety because you’ll begin to associate worry, stress and “being swamped” with the act of working itself.

So instead, spend your motivation on SMALL SEGMENTS you can work on piece by piece. Use your imagination to break things down into tasks you can enjoy conquering, and then bring them all together.

Motivational-Sin #4: ANXIETY ITSELF

…or the ignorance of always expecting things to end in a complete disaster. This sin keeps you in a drama of cataclysmic destruction because it perpetually diverts your consciousness towards despair.

So instead, spend your motivation on CALM PROGRESS. Stay level-headed, and when things go wrong, take a break to regroup mentally.

Motivational-Sin #5: KNOWLEDGEABLE COWARDICE

…or the ignorance of thinking that knowing something intellectually equals knowing how to actually do it. This sin keeps you in mentally stimulated but never really “hitting it,” in terms of success because being a more knowledge person doesn’t necessarily make you a more productive one.

So instead, spend your motivation on ACTION-ORIENTATION. Discipline yourself to always “do the knowledge,” and remember that true learning literally EQUALS behavior change.

Motivational-Sin #6: PERIODIC ENTHUSIASM

…or the ignorance of leaving motivation to chance instead of developing a science and wiring it into your person. This sin keeps you confused because you’ll eventually questioning your own sincerity and wonder how dedicated you really are.

So instead, spend your motivation on being REWARDS-FOCUSED. Stay grounded in your original purpose and keep your mind centered all the benefits you’ll gain.

Motivational-Sin #7 is SELFISH CREATIVITY

…or, lastly, the ignorance of keeping your brilliance to yourself (which was me for a minute). This sin keeps you de-motivated, because without the feedback of another human being, your goals will never take on the force of living, breathing thing.

So instead, spend your motivation on SHARING YOUR BRILLIANCE. Select a few friends you can trust to get feedback from, and gradually extend out from there.

THANKS FOR READING, and remember: the only reason I can accurately describe all this is because I’ve been a serious “motivational-sinner” in my own right. Stay patient, diligent and self-forgiving as you work on these habits, and you’ll be on you’re way…

Peace,
+B

Are You Hijacking Your Own Success By BEING ETHICAL???

Bryan Ogilvie — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 16:00:05 +0000

LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION: let’s say you drive home late today (like, three in the morning) and accidentally run a red light…do you take yourself down to court tomorrow and go, “Hey, I ran a traffic signal last night by mistake, but since a cop wasn’t around to stop me, I came here to pay the fine myself…”???

Of course not, but before we even go any further, let’s first establish the difference between “being ethical” and having a conscience.

A “conscience” is a moral sense of right and wrong: an instinctual drive for justice embedded in who you are as a person. Like Eddie Griffin once said, “Nobody needs to tell you, ‘Don’t kill yo mama.’ Somehow…you just KNOW that.”

But ethics is a little different…

Ethics is a branch of philosophical study PERTAINING to morality: an exercise in logic that results in an intellectual sense of right and wrong. It’s a “code of conduct” derived from THEORIES about how a conscience may (or may not) manifest itself under particular circumstances.

What I’m getting at here is that ethics are rules based on concepts that don’t always correspond to reality. They’re SUBJECTIVE by nature, so we all hit pivotal moments where we need to re-evaluate them (or let them go altogether) because they don’t lend themselves well to our real-life situations.

Now when it comes to success, I believe you have to be willing to do whatever it takes, but you’ll never reach that level of devotion until you can see your moral sense (or “conscience”) as something completely distinct from the rules and regulations you’ve learned from other people (as so-called “ethical behavior”).

I now personally believe that in most cases, the ethical conflicts we have about our success STEM FROM OUR DEEP-SEATED NEED FOR APPROVAL, and serve as one of the biggest barriers to personal growth and positive change. Let’s get into some examples….

Some Examples & My Perspective On This…

Nas has a line in his song, “Something Foul,” that goes, “Am I charismatic enough? Does my charm reach people that can make a change? If I shoot with straight aim…at the positive target, and swoo them to make a deposit into MY account, is that really progress???”

…which represents a major conflict all “conscious” artists share: “Is my work really making a difference at all?”, “Is it even right for me to make so much money from this?” and countless other ethical dilemmas that poison their productivity and creative focus.

A more common example is the abusive or parasitic partner leeching off the other, self-sacrificing one: “Can I really just kick his ass out on the street???” she wonders, as her “man” literally drains the lifeblood out of her every move.

Bottom line: you can’t be effective with anything important by riding its ethical-fence. When you’re too worried about the “rightness,” of what you already know you need to do, that preoccupation destroys your drive, undermines your productivity and NULLIFIES your ability to even think clearly and make healthy decisions in the first place.

Again, success requires you to do whatever it takes: to be committed enough to try whatever, be whatever, for however long and by any means necessary, so unless you’re 100% about the moves you need to make, you simply won’t make them in time…or, even worse, just won’t make them at all.

Wherever you see a lack of ambition, broken focus or hesitancy to make an important (an obvious) choice, an ethical hang up is somewhere in that person’s subconscious causing FRICTION…creating a dichotomy that defeats them before they even think to stand up.

And remember that life is complex: your challenges will NEVER perfectly line up with clear-cut definitions of right and wrong, and in this light, success in and of itself becomes one indefinite, perpetual act of identity-reform. It becomes the biggest ethical conflict because it’s actually asking you to transcend your own mentality, continuously…

What are your beliefs? How does the world work and how do the people in it operate? Who are you really? Is this truly how you want to continue to define yourself? Are you willing to give up this behavior (or idea, or person) for those more in line with what’ll bring you forward???

In other words, the triumphant, motivational, rags-to-riches success story is a childish one…a simplified narrative more reminiscent of the fairy-tales we’re told as infants than the reality of what success and progress truly entails.

In my experience, real success is a story of intense, internal psychological warfare: a journey to conquer yourself far too demanding for the average bear.

Knowing this, YOU can start by seeing yourself as a pure and honorable force: the clear, guilt-free conscious that comes from an identity which never questions itself leads to a motivation that knows no limitation.

Peace,
+B

6 Methodical Ways to Handle Large-Scale Work & Long-Term Projects SUCCESSFULLY (pt.2)

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 16:00:47 +0000

Here’s a continuation of yesterday’s science on handling large-scale projects and serious work: two more practical, straight-to-the-point methods for leveraging your productivity skills on a higher plane. Enjoy…

Method #5: Get Help & Stop Pretending Your Superman

This one really speaks for itself. As I said in that classic lecture on time-management: “No one is superman, no one is superwoman, no one is an octopus and no one has 8-legs…there’s multiple people in the Universe for a reason.”

I’ve ALWAYS had trouble with this, so if I can get my act together – with guest contributions to the blog like Sepia Prince’s Does Your Cell Phone Have You On A Leash?, Mansu Edwards’s Ambition EQUALS Distraction and Genially Green Earth’s Beauty Begets Love – you can too. And in case you’re wondering, these posts got better responses then most of my own original pieces, so I saved time, my friends got the word out about their work, my audience enjoyed a break from my rambling behind and we all had fun putting our heads together on something positive.

Once you’re clear on what you want to do, find people who are talented, responsible and mature and ask them (in specific language) what you’d like help with, why you’d like their help specifically (as in compliment them) and tell that they’re free to say no for any reason whatsoever (if they said no it wouldn’t change the fact you think they’re a cool person)…it lifts the pressure.

If what you’re doing is positive and sensible, most positive and sensible people would love to add on their own two cents. Just be clear, specific, respectful and complimentary, and remember to ask the right people in the first place (people you know you can count on).

Method #6: Model After Others

I don’t care how creative you are, YOU’RE NOT THAT HOT. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but don’t kid yourself: none of us are soooo original that nobody’s ever done anything like what we’re hoping to do. The whole idea’s ridiculous, so if it applies, just stop…

Honestly now, if you can’t find someone else doing something at least SOMEWHAT similar to what your large-scale stuff is meant to be, it’s probably because you’re not fully clear and specific on what you’d like to do in the first place.

Also, one thing that helps me is knowing you can model yourself after a COMPOSITE of multiple influences. It’s just like in your life: you have one friend that’s in good shape (or eats pretty good), another friend with a great job (or some serious guap) and yet ANOTHER friend with a fine honey, so you model or aspire after different people in different ways, so too can you model or aspire your overall big-level goals after different businesses, organizations or groups in different ways as well.

For me, I’d like my teaching style to have the attitude and humor of Akil, the educational, professional approach of Eben Pagan and the lyrical finesse (and scholastic references) of Chris Hedges.

What’s interesting is that, the more I study, the more I find myself AUTOMATICALLY modeling myself after positive influences, subconsciously. So do your research, and no matter how bogged down you get with the day-to-day workload, don’t let it keep you from staying abreast as far as what’s working out there and why.

Now give a brother some love in the comment section! Later…

Peace,
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6 Methodical Ways to Handle Large-Scale Work & Long-Term Projects SUCCESSFULLY (pt.1)

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 16:00:56 +0000

Sometimes a little jolt in productivity isn’t enough, right? Sometimes, especially when it comes to doing MAJOR projects like a new website, children’s program or whatever, you need stronger skills that’ll leverage your productivity past just another session or two…the reality is you need an entirely different APPROACH.

So here’s quite a few methods that I use to handle my large scale work (this blog specifically). It’ll be in two sessions: today we’ll cover four that are mostly about approach, and tomorrow we’ll cover two that are more concrete, practical techniques. Enjoy…

Method #1: Realize That It Actually IS Big

This might sound silly, but I’ve found that most people don’t even realize they’re signing themselves up for large-scale work to begin with. Personally, I believe the ability to consciously register how much (and the type of) work a new project entails is a discrete skill learned over time, because most people just have a “good idea” and go about it completely at random.

“I remember starting a writer’s group a few years ago: when I told a poet friend of mine about it, his immediate response was ‘Yeah, you know I can get you set up at such-and-such venue, and my man does promotion, so we can even get it popping on campus and start a whole poetry-movement!!!’

I said, ‘Well, that sounds good but uh…let’s just see how the first meeting goes and take it from there.‘” ~ from an old radio show I did about productivity and self-discipline

This is one of those things that’s obvious to point out, but still difficult to catch yourself forgetting. First REALIZE that your getting “amped up” about something that’s involved, then STOP and pace yourself into it. (In the example above, I just had one meeting and decided it was unnecessary).

To be honest, we’re actually being childlike when we’re overly-enthusiastic about a project just because it sounds cool: we’re forgetting that everything costs resources. This isn’t an entirely bad thing, I just want you to see it for what it is so you can control that tendency.

So be realistic: think about whether you really want to nominate yourself for all that work, and whether you have the time and money to do so in the first place. If you’re not sure, phase your way into it slowly and experiment before you make any serious (or public, or financial) commitments.

It’s not the most pleasant way to use your imagination, but it’s worth it. If the project was meant to be, you’ll make it through this phase stronger and more level-headed.

2/3: Benefit-Focus for the Mid-Term, MASTERY-Focus for the Long-Term

What I mean here is a lot simpler then it sounds: if you’re working on something that’ll take a couple of months, focus on all the rewards and benefits, but if you’re working on something that’ll take several YEARS, focus on mastering the craft it’s based on instead.

I’m focused on being the best writer and teacher I can possibly be, not really having a well-trafficked blog, but when it comes to finishing my first book, I’m focused on the income, accreditation and leverage it’ll provide me. Make sense???

Think about how long something will take, and structure how you motivate yourself with that in mind. Generally, if a project needs a few weeks or months (like a term-paper), focusing on benefits is good because it pushes you past your normal limitations, but if a project needs a significant portion of your life (like a martial art), focusing on mastery is good because it becomes part of your maturity as a person. For more on mid-term motivation, see here, and for more on long-term motivation, see here.

Method #4: Use Automation, Structure and Routine

AUTOMATE AND ROUTINIZE EVERYTHING YOU POSSIBLY CAN, and even if something isn’t “automatable,” make it as structured as humanly possible.

For instance, if you have to get people on the phone and talk, HAVE A SCRIPT…I don’t mean “stick to” a script, obviously, but have a general outline (written down somewhere) of how the conversation is supposed to go. It’ll save you the psychic energy of having to build yourself up to the task each time.

If you’ve ever had telemarketing or canvassing (door-to-door) gig you know what I’m talking about. Businesses structure and automate major tasks in order to take make processes more efficient.

Another aspect of this is to do everything at the same time each day, because once you have a habit of doing something at a certain time every single day it builds a life of its own and gets easier to do.

If you think about it, what I’m really saying here is “be a machine,” which sounds messed up on the surface, but it’s also why the industrial revolution was so profitable and productive: people eventually realized “Hey, we could produce A LOT more stuff if we automate and mechanize all these processes.” So structure and routine is the reason we have cars, the printing press, refrigerators and everything else…our whole standard of living is based on automation, actually.

Remember, automate and structure your work until it becomes a habit: do the same exact things in the same exact way at the same exact time every day (or every week) and watch it free up your physical energy and take almost NO mental energy at all…people will be literally AMAZED at how much you’re able to get done.

Check back tomorrow for more tips on handling large-scale work and long-term projects, and leave a comment below letting me know your thoughts. How do you handle long-term stuff???

Peace,
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THE SCIENCE OF SUPER HEROES (and Other Great Books Today’s Transcendence Readers are Reading…)

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 16:00:24 +0000

Just the other day, I asked the the facebook fanpage “What are you currently reading?,” and got some VERY interesting responses. Apparently, my readers are into EVERYTHING, so take a look and see if any of the titles catch your eye:

Where to Get These:

I thought you’d be interested to see if there’s any common literary tastes between you and OTHER people who enjoy this blog, so here’s a link to all the titles I actually could find. (Don’t forget you can share whatever’s on your shelf in the comment section below too):

“Hunter Thompson (author of Fear & Loathing on the Campaign Trail) was a journalist who rewrote the book on journalism: he was almost completely subjective, wrote from the gut, and disses everybody in politics like they deserve to be dissed…”

“From Science to God was written by a physicist, describing his personal struggle to bring science and spirit together…”

(The Case for Father Custody by Daniel Amneus was also recommended, but Amazon wouldn’t let me put it in the widget for some reason. Check out some of my personal recommendations or my post 4 Simple Tips to Get Yourself Reading Again for more.)

Peace,
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The 11 Core Mental Patterns of Success: SPECIFIC Ways to Train Your Mind for More Progress, Productivity & Perpetual Accomplishment

Bryan Ogilvie — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 16:00:37 +0000

Just realized the other day that I did a great post on the 11 mental patterns of failure, but never “flipped the script” and talked specifically about the mental patterns of SUCCESS in reverse. So let’s take a quick look…

11 Key Ways To Train Your Mind for Success:

(And just in case you’re wondering, NO, these are not simply the failure patterns inversed: that would be corny and unimaginative of me…although a good reinforcement. Enjoy the quick read and tell me your favorite pattern in the comment section below.)

1: Train your mind to have the self-image of a success, because someone who feels they already ARE what they’re aiming to be is destined to eventually get what they’re working towards. Condition yourself to believe you truly do have all the necessary components and qualities inside you.

2: Train your mind to focus on your purpose, because knowing “what’s in it for me,” is critical to staying inspired. Condition yourself to place your moment-to-moment concentration on WHY you’re doing what you’re doing (or why you’re here on Earth in the first place) and never lose sight of that.

3: Train your mind to visualize each successful step, because your subconscious mind constantly projects images, sounds and feelings onto your conscious one. Condition yourself to have a vivid, virtual reality of all the different SPECIFICS that success entails, because then it’ll feel more natural to take the right actions.

4: Train your mind to constantly focus on ALL the benefits of reaching your goal, because that’ll constantly renew your motivation over weeks, months and even decades. Condition yourself to keep all the different positive side-effects at the forefront of your mind.

NOTE: If this sounds similar to pattern #2 about knowing why, remember that 2 is about constantly thinking PURPOSE while 3 is about constantly thinking RESULTS. A purpose is usually personal or emotional (“For my child’s future…”); a result material or consequential (“The freedom of a passive income stream…”).

5: Train your mind to believe in your ability, because self-assurance creates courage. Condition yourself to believe you’ll do whatever it takes and your confidence will EXPLODE.

6: Train your mind to take appropriate action, because nothing works without follow-through. Condition yourself to believe that if there’s a job to do, a decision to be made or an obstacle to overcome, you’re the one to do it.

7: Train your mind to find joy in goal-related activities, because when you enjoy what you’re doing, you’ll want to do more of it and do it better. Condition yourself to always look for and always find what’s enjoyable about the decisions and tasks your goals require…it makes everything A LOT easier

8: Train your mind to look for and find lessons in both failures and successes, because the best in every field, in every sport and in every area of life learn more from their mistakes than anybody else does. Condition yourself to love learning everything necessary and you’ll develop mastery FAST.

9: Train your mind to see problems, mistakes, delays and setbacks as inevitable, because (newsflash) THEY ARE. Condition yourself to embrace the inevitable pitfalls of life and goal-setting WITHOUT fear and overreaction…shrink them down in your mind as small and manageable and plan for them ahead of time.

10: Train your mind to know and appreciate what you receive from success, because the most effective people alive have a way of squeezing out the maximum amount of joy from each moment, and this is DOUBLY true when it comes to their accomplishments.

Condition yourself to be aware of and deeply appreciative of every possible benefit and reward you get from working toward and achieving your particular aim.

11: Train your mind to feel proud of your efforts and accomplishments, because successful people have HIGH STANDARDS. Condition yourself to feel enormous joy, excitement and ecstasy with each victory no matter how small they may be.

So there you have it. Find out more about the automated program I use to train MY mind for success – Accelerated Success Conditioning Software – go here, and don’t forget you can also contact me for any questions, comments or suggestions using the contact form too.

Peace,
+B

Why Most Self-Help ISN’T Helping (& Why You Need to CONSCIOUSLY Control How You Use Your Brain)

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 16:00:35 +0000

If you’ve been trying all the programs, reading all the books and getting all the newsletters but still can’t get YOURSELF to start taking all the actions, first know that you are not alone.

A lot of people go through this same frustration and really, interestingly enough, there’s only a few key things you could be missing. Download this audio to find out what I mean or click here to listen:
Download audio file (eben2.mp3)

Let’s Talk About the Unconscious Mind:

“Let’s talk for a second about what’s called the unconscious mind, and the analogy here is an iceberg: You probably know that only 10% of an iceberg actually shows above water and that about 90% is below water. Well that’s the way the mind is as well, with one key difference…

With the mind about 99.99% is below water and invisible, and only about, maybe 0.01% is visible in your conscious thought. NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK IS IN THAT WHOLE REALM OF THE UNCONSCIOUS??? You’re right…

>> Things like beliefs,

>> Things like identity and self-image,

>> Your view of what reality IS and what’s possible,

>> The ability to create optimism, and actually even your habits of thought are in your unconscious mind…

So you can learn all the fancy creative thinking and logic exercises you want: if your unconscious mind is wired wrong, NONE OF IT WILL WORK, period…even if some it does work just a little, you’ll forget it, because it’s not permanently wired.

Now I’ve never said this publicly before, but most of the work I do when teaching people is getting them to let go of outdated beliefs, inefficient mental habits and to change their mental image of themselves, because only then will techniques actually work…”

Full Video This is All From:

That is from the video “How To Use Your Brain” by Eben Pagan. (I just stripped the audio from it, cut it up and put the best excerpts over some cool instrumentals.)

This rung true for me because I know I spent most of my life NOT thinking for myself. I spent most of my life getting into trouble and feeling confused about where I was going because I was “fronting”… because I wasn’t being authentic about who I am or who I want to become.

So one of my biggest lessons in life was that I needed to CONSCIOUSLY control what I thought and believed, and then consistently ACT on those beliefs in order to refine them and make sure my ideas were accurate. Here’s another clip explaining what I mean:
Download audio file (eben1.mp3)

“So why would you want to “control” the way you think? Why wouldn’t you want to just have it happen naturally??? Well, what I’ve learned in life is that if you learn the powerful thinking tools and strategies that the most successful people use to focus their mind – to use reasoning and logic to create the results – you’ll:

>> Have more power and influence in the world,

>> You’ll attract more successful people into you’re life (they’ll automatically be attracted to you), and

>> You’ll achieve the results you want to achieve in your life: in business and in your relationships…

What I’ve also learned by watching very closely is that those that DON’T take control of their minds – those that never learn to use their minds in an ‘expert capacity,’ if you will – don’t make things happen.

In fact, what happens is the opposite: they LOSE power and status, people REJECT them and aren’t attracted to them, and they ultimately FAIL at the things they try to do, and it’s all because of what’s going on in their heads.

(later on) Almost no one actual does this…as I’ve been studying this topic and paying very careful attention over the last few years, I’ve noticed that ALMOST NO ONE I MEET OR INTERACT WITH IS THINKING INTENTIONALLY, using sound thinking techniques, or verifying their ideas with tests and measurement.” ~ Eben Pagan

Once again, here’s some links to watch the video this is all from in full and enjoy more audio mixes like these. Take care and don’t forget you can contact me for anything.

Peace,
+B

Not Getting Good Enough (or Even Just ‘Enough’) SLEEP??? Here’s 5 Possible Reasons Why…

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 16:00:42 +0000

I have a couple friends with (so-called) “sleeping disorders,” and believe that adequate, rejuvenating sleep is VITAL to being focused in hundreds of little ways we fail to realize. Luckily, this short article from TRN’s “Tranquil Sleep Now” explains why, so take a quick look and thank a brother later (preferably in the comments section below):

The “5 C’s” Behind Most Sleep Problems

“If you’re like most people, you try to live life all at once and you bring it all with you into bed, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg…

Experts explain how the five Cs — Change, Conflict, Criticisms, Concerns, and Crises — can burden our lives with unhealthy stress. Any of these factors can ruin your sleep faster than you can say ‘good night.’ Look at what you do when you turn the lights off:

>> You play the day’s events over and over in your mind.

>> You mull over mistakes and disagreements.

>> You think about a deadline racing up.

>> You worry about your kids’ grades.

>> You dwell on PROBLEMS. Money problems. Family problems. Work problems. Health problems. Marriage and relationship problems.

Factor that all together, and it’s no wonder sleep is elusive. As the sleeplessness goes on and on, the frustration keeps mounting up:

>> You get down on yourself for being a failure at “sleep”

>> You soon dread going to bed.

>> You feel powerless over your sleep problems.

>> You just assume you won’t be able to sleep.

>> You don’t know how to relax anymore.

>> You can’t get comfortable in bed.

>> You resign yourself to being an insomniac.

>> You don’t think you’ll EVER get a good night’s rest.

>> Your mattress is too hard and the pillows too soft.

>> You have terrible nightmares, so “what’s the point?”

But why, with so much on the line, do these issues take over your mind when you’re trying to fall asleep???

It’s just the way we’re wired… Most of the 50,000 thoughts that pop into your mind every day are AUTOMATIC. They’ve been with you for decades (perhaps even a lifetime) – they’re the by-product of conditioned negative thought patterns that have hijacked your natural sleep processes.

That’s why just saying “STOP!” to yourself won’t do the trick, and blaming yourself because you don’t have any “internal discipline” won’t either…”

The healthiest, most effective way to correct your sleep problems is to change the unsupportive mental patterns (beliefs, thoughts, attitudes) that lurk behind them.

Sleeping pills and herbal remedies don’t change the underlying causes of sleep problems one iota. Tranquil Sleep Now! does—safely, effectively, and permanently.

It’s as simple as that…” ~ fin

Where This is All From…

That particular excerpt stood out to me, but there’s a lot more too, so click here to finish reading. The main headline says:

Remember, I’ve been using these programs since 2007 to stay focused, motivated, fully-engaged and ON-POINT. Click here to find out more now…

Peace,
+B

Affirmations AREN’T Working For Me…What am I Doing Wrong??? (Here’s The Top 3 Most Common Mistakes)

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 16:00:18 +0000

I remember getting a business consultation a while back, where when I mentioned that I provide guided meditation and affirmation programs through my site, the guy said:

“Oh yeah? That’s funny – I read a statistic the other day that said most people who use affirmations are more depressed then the average person.”

And this got me thinking, “You know what? He’s probably right: most people who try this affirmation thing probably are more depressed then the average person, because (just like most people who start businesses, try to lose weight or do anything else constructive) THEY’RE PROBABLY GOING ABOUT IT ALL WRONG.

So if you find yourself having trouble with any affirmation-related practice, first make sure none of the following apply, because these are the top 3 common mistakes I find people making ALL THE TIME:

Mistake #1: Being Unrealistic or “Too Positive”

If you feel like a loser, saying “I’m a winner, I’m a winner, I’m a winner…” is NOT going to work, cause if you’re in a bad mood, you won’t feel like saying it, and even if you’re in an okay mood, just saying that’ll make you more aware of how you actually feel on a general basis…

Likewise, if you’re 200 pounds overweight, saying “I have a slim and healthy body…” just isn’t going to cut it, because you’ll know you’re lying to yourself.

Instead, someone who feels like a failure should try statements like “I forgive myself for not getting things done…” and someone with with weight concerns might try “I know and believe in the value of being a healthy person…”

That’s why the program I mentioned earlier uses both “affirming” and “releasing” statements: some affirmations focus on moving you towards where you want to be, and others solely on getting you away from where you presently are.

Some key phrases for RELEASING (before you try to install anything crazy) are: “I forgive myself for…”, “I’ve now let go of…”, and “It’s okay for me to…” The key here is to go at your own pace: since you know where you’re at better than anyone else, take your time to gradually nudge yourself in the right direction.

Mistake #2: Being Too Verbose or Not Hitting the Point

I remember this e-mail newsletter for Sovereignty (Law and Civics lessons, basically) I was on a few years back where they sent out an affirmation list called “Cosmic Trigger Enlightenment” with statements like:

“I AM CRYSTAL STAR SEED AND I MERGE IN ONENESS IN THE UNIFIED FIELD OF DIVINITY WITH THE CRYSTAL EARTH AND CRYSTALLINE COSMOS…”

Now c’mon: I’m not here to knock anybody’s spirituality, but to me, that’s basically ASKING for “more depression (and confusion) then the average person” to begin with…

Remember, affirmations are meant to re-pattern something that happens below your awareness: they work to change how you think, feel and act BECAUSE how you think, feel and act is governed by subconscious processes…things like self-image, identity, beliefs, perception and habits of thought.

Now here’s the secret: your subconscious mind IS NOT concerned with stars and galaxies…it’s concerned with your fears, pains, guilts and frustrations. Your subconscious mind doesn’t think, “I’m a star-seed child,” it thinks: “I’ll always be poor…”, “Women always reject me…”, “I have no self-control with food…” and so on.

In short, it’s the hidden, self-limiting beliefs that effect you in a direct and emotional way…it’s the stuff that makes you go, “How am I going to make rent on time?,” “Is my girlfriend going to dump me?” or “Will I ever have be healthy and functional again???”

THEREFORE, affirmations tend to work best when they’re focused on things like dissolving anxiety, gaining freedom from depression, building real self-esteem, releasing your fear of failure or developing unstoppable motivation. Those are really the key areas, so instead of “Cosmic Triggers,” try:

>> “I transcend all jealousy of those who have more then I do…”
>> “I alone am responsible for both my failures and successes…”
>> “It’s easy and natural for me to keep mistakes in proper perspective…”
>> “Life isn’t always fair, so I don’t expect it to be…” and
>> “I believe in tending to situations before they become problems…”

You have to understand a bit of your own psychology before you can craft the really effective ones: you need to know what you fear specifically so you can address that specifically, and you need to know how other (successful) people think about it so you can learn that too. (Like anything else, this is a skill you learn overtime.)

Also, another related problem people have is being too damn wordy. Simply put, when it comes to the subconscious, “less is more,” so follow William Strunk’s advice and OMIT ALL NEEDLESS WORDS. This is not where you show off your skills and get mega-deep – it’s where you come to understand your real frustrations and address them directly and compassionately…

Mistake #3: Not speaking with EMOTION…

And lastly, as you can see by now, the subconscious mind hears emotions, not logic. So if you want your affirmations to work, you have to speak to it in an emotional way.

Emotions are what drive us: emotions make things real and get us involved. Emotions are why certain movies, books and people are more appealing then others, and emotions are why certain affirmations are more believable then some of the ones you may be using now. So say them like you mean them. Say them as if they’re values and convictions you actually hold and watch them become values and convictions you actually act UPON.

Thanks for checking this out. For a free manual I put together on affirmations (with an in-depth method, sample affirmations and more) download this (it’s old, but still good), and to check out that guided audio program, click here. (Don’t worry, you don’t need to know a thing about affirmations to use these correctly, because they make the entire process VIRTUALLY AUTOMATIC.)

Like you’ll hear me say countless times, this is the #1 tool I use DAILY to stay motivated, disciplined, focused and ON-POINT, so do yourself a favor a take a second to check it out now…

Peace,
+B

Today is Your Day to Win, Pt.1: Going From the Bench to the Playing Field…

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 16:00:36 +0000

Here’s an excerpt from Mike Brescia’s (leader of the Think Right Now Intl. organiztion) classic book, Today is Your Day to Win. It’s not the most well-written piece you’ll come across, but it does cover the hidden psychology of unstoppable motivation, so tough out the reading and give the man some of your precious time and attention (instead of Facebook). You’ll be glad you did…

Today’s Empowering Quote:

“I have brought myself by long meditation to the conviction that a human being with a settled purpose must accomplish it, and that nothing can resist a will which will stake even existence upon its fulfillment.” ~ Benjamin Disraeli

Today’s Empowering Question:

“What am I willing to give up in order to reach my objective???”

Today’s Session: From the Bench to the Playing Field

Since I’ve had so many requests about how I went from a real bum to being able to write to tens of thousands of friends all over the world, here’s the story. It’s…interesting.

Up until early 1987, I regularly used to beg the gods for an answer to the question of why I couldn’t get myself to do what I needed to do to get my simple goals met. Why was I so lazy and miserable? Why was I just…a bum.???

I got fired from countless jobs. I flunked out of college, and then got fired some more. Finally, after reading some very popular books on selling and motivation over and over…I CONTINUED TO FAIL, not making one single solitary thin dime in my commissioned sales job for close to TWO more years. (If it weren’t for friends and then my trusty Ford Econoline van, I literally would’ve been living “on” the street.)

One day while sitting in my van, a man walked up and started talking to me. He was brilliant: he went on to tell the story of when he, as an announcer, covered the World Series back in the late 60′s. He had all the names; he knew stats like it was yesterday. His voice was clearly that of a broadcaster, but the thing that was most incredible was…

…he was pushing a shopping cart, which carried ALL his earthly possessions. He was homeless too, living on the street like me, and I couldn’t believe it. He told me that he just got sick of the daily challenges – of “one problem after another” – and literally became unable to function in any capacity. Very quickly he had lost everything, and at the end it was by choice.

Sadly, I could identify with THIS guy more than anyone I had met in a while. I was VERY low, but fortunately, I hadn’t quite reached that level…yet.

I did want to get off “the street” and stop being a bum. So I found this great bookstore around Hermosa Beach that had comfy chairs, and started spending a lot of time there. I got familiar with a number of self-help change methods, including NLP, self-talk and Accelerated Learning techniques..like I said, I had A LOT of time on my hands.

Back to New York

Soon I came back to Upstate New York, got a menial job and created my own Superlearning tapes with three cheap, borrowed tape players. Only instead of learning a language or factual data at lightning speeds, I figured I’d teach myself new attitudes and instruct myself to do the things that sent tremors of fear through me, the actions that would change me from a loser to someone I’d be proud of.

So from every sales, biography, motivation, NLP and “don’t worry, be happy” book I could find, I pulled out all the lessons, beliefs and attitudes of life’s top performers. I turned them into self-instructions, and recorded them onto tapes with very specific baroque music passages playing in the background. (Editor’s note: hint, hint.)

It was quite a setup: I was desperate, willing to try ANYTHING, and couldn’t get fired from $5/hr jobs anymore.

In what seemed like just a few days, I began to feel differences. In my new job, I started working lots of hours putting coin-operated TVs together and installing them, and soon, I was making telephone calls to prospective customers (large travel plazas with big restaurants).

These early TV boxes were downright ugly, but I was able to convince the presidents of nearly every one of these huge corporations to let us tear up their nice dining rooms and put them in. It was wild…I mean, I just got in a frenzy of conviction before each call.

The more I listened to my tapes while I slept, the more fanatical I got about reading and learning. Among my recorded self-instructions were ones that told me I loved learning and that I was the greatest salesman in the world. Ha!! I put in that the more I succeeded, the more success I wanted. Talk about a vicious cycle, huh?

Well, soon I had exhausted the company’s inventory of TV’s, and since the revenue each one made wasn’t that high, the company had no money to buy the parts to build hundreds more. Even though it proved to be a dead end job, it felt good not being fired.

So I left to start selling hearing instruments, and I got scary good: in an industry with 20-25% closing ratios, I was selling 95. In just about 4 months, that self-instruction about being the greatest salesman in the world was eerily coming true (at least in that industry). Soon I was going seven days a week, and missing a sale WAS NOT not an option.

How I Eliminated My Blocks:

I continued to listen to my tapes and develop new ones. Considering where I came from to where I was now, I figured that anything was possible, so I researched and made tapes for everything from diet practices to dissolving anxiety. I had gone from being scared of everything to feeling like I couldn’t fail.

I used to use double negatives when I spoke too (“I didn’t do nothing” was a famous line), and this drove people around me crazy, so I researched communication and public speaking and made an accelerated success tape for that too.

Whenever I wanted to eliminate a block, get good at something, or feel better about myself, I looked for the top professionals, researched their findings, uncovered lots of conflicting data, found what made sense and made a tape in the accelerated learning format.

I found there was NOTHING that I couldn’t literally install into or rip out of my mind. And with the right thoughts and instructions, you could create an endless loop of success, each good outcome fueling in you the desire to keep the positive change and to improve even more.

In short, that’s the early part of the story that leads me to today, getting to talk to you.

I hope this answered a few questions and inspired you to believe that no matter what you’re going through right now, you are truly magnificent. All you have to do is release your blocks and embrace your unlimited potential. There’s enormous power within you. It might be buried, but it’s there.

I know, I know: if that seems a little beyond what your belief system currently allows you to accept, I understand, and that’s OK. Just keep reading and repeating your self-instructions. You’ll become a believer soon enough…” ~ Mike Brescia

Today’s Winning Beliefs:

>> “Every success I achieve fuels in me the desire for more…”

>> “I can achieve anything that I can imagine…”

>> “I have the ability to visualize EVERY aspect of my success…”

>> “My ability is greater than any challenge I could face…”

Remember, “burn the thoughts, beliefs and attitudes of the happiest, most effective people into your mind and you’ll feel how THEY feel, do what THEY do and get the same results that THEY get!”

I’ve been personally using Think Right Now Intl.’s Accelerated Success Conditioning Programs to keep my head in the game” DAILY for 5 years now, so click here to find out more:

Peace,
+B

Ambition EQUALS Distraction (A Quick, Motivational Read by Guest Blogger & Author Mansu Edwards)

Bryan Ogilvie — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 16:00:17 +0000

Here’s a special guest post by a colleague and good friend of mine Mansu Edwards, author of the books Mental Diet and The Disappearance of Hate, both of which I urge you to learn more about here. Enjoy…

Ambition EQUALS Distractions

“Yes, ambition equals distractions. It’s an anomaly from the usual Personal Development theory, but does this sound familiar? ‘Make goals. Change your mindset. Surround yourself with positive people. Eagles soar. Repeat everyday for 10 minutes, ‘I’m a Winner’ and watch how your life changes.’

They’re all good suggestions. I’m not hating on these solutions (so shout outs to all the people making it their mission to improve people’s lives), but most of them don’t tell you that you will encounter many distractions. It’s a test that you can pass if you have a strong will. If you don’t, GAME OVER. Know thy enemy. Don’t get upset with distractions.

The phone rings while you’re working on a project that’s due next week. Oh yeah, and they’re people you haven’t spoken to in years. Why are they calling now? You know why? Because you’re ambitious and focused. Will you answer the phone or call back when you’re done. What’s more important? As the saying goes, DECISIONS, DECISIONS, DECISIONS.

Uncle Ted watches a new episode of Alphas in the living room. You hear explosions and Malik Yoba shattering a titanium glass window with two quick jabs while you’re at the kitchen table drafting a business plan. Uncle Ted yells with excitement. You’re eager to stop the writing and researching. My future versus Alphas. Hmmm. What will I do? ‘I’ll take a 5 minute break and then go back to the business plan,’ you say. But, let’s be real, it won’t be a 5 minute break, you’re either watching most or all of the show . It’s just like when your Moms tried waking you up early for school and you told her “5 more minutes.” She came back to find you still sleeping.

Just, think about your future. What do you want to do? What do you want to be? Sacrifices are tough, but rewarding. I’m not a Guru. Just, in case you’re thinking, ‘this guy’s doing a lot of talking, I wonder what his life is about, he must have it all together.’ You know what, I DON’T. I’m imperfect like everyone else. My goal is self-mastery and yours should be too. And guess what, we’ll still be imperfect lol. Be ambitious, but be wary of life’s distractions.”

by Omar Hasan
Author of The Disappearance of Hate and Mental Diet
http://www.thedisappearanceofhate.wordpress.com

Peace,
+B

Does Your Cell Phone Have You ON A LEASH??? (w/ Special Photographs Courtesy of Sepia Prince)

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 16:00:17 +0000

One thing you’ll hear me suggest A LOT on this blog (especially in anything about getting focused and conquering yourself) is eliminating distraction, because distraction and interruption, particularly of the digital kind, rob us of more productivity than just about any other single factor.

What’s interesting is that digital distraction – distraction caused by text messages, twitter updates, email alerts and the like – have us on a leash. Most of us (and I even catch myself sometimes) are attached to our cellphones like one of the slaves Harriet Tubman COULDN’T get to leave the plantation, and don’t even realize how ridiculously absurd this conditioning is.

My good photographer friend Sepia Prince has a great photostream on Flickr about this called Electronic Leashes, and since “an image is worth a thousand words” (an extremely prejudice cliche I as a writer take offense to by the way, but whatever), enjoy the collection below. See if you can pick up on the highly ironic yet semi-depressing state of affairs these kodak moments so accurately portray:

“Electronic Leashes” Photostream Slideshow

Be sure to check out Sepia’s Flickr account for more great pieces, because the brother knows what he’s doing.

Take care of yourself, and remember: you are not a gadget, so next time your phone goes off, LET IT RING…resist the crack-needle-in-the arm, Pavlov-dog response syndrome and focus on the task (or real-life conversation) in front of you.

Peace,
+B

Conquer Yourself CONCLUSION: Resource Materials, References & Recommended Scrolls…

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 16:00:03 +0000

And lastly (I say this with a little feeling of triumph in my heart), here’s the resource page to the Conquer Yourself series. Just for fun, I did it in audio format for your listening pleasure too, AND there’s a cool beat at the end. Check it out…
Download audio file (conquer.mp3)

Online Resources (All FREE)

Simpleology.com w/ Mark Joyner: I first came across this in 2007 – a great productivity training course with simple daily exercises and quick videos all focused on “the simple science of getting what you want.” They’ve definitely stepped their game up since back then, so do yourself a favor and take a second to check them out now…

Productive Flourishing w/ Charlie Gilkey: a blog that’s “all about the science and art of meaningful action.” Just trust me when I say this brother has a lot of knowledge under his belt…his blog will help you demystify the creative process, understand entrepreneurship in this digital age and much, much more…

Zen Habits w/ Leo Babauta: Another site on “Simple Productivity,” Leo leans more towards the philosophical side. One of the most famous blogs on the internet right now for a good reason: his short but deep posts always give you something to think on WITHOUT taking up your time…which a brother appreciates these days.

43 Folders w/ Merlin Mann: You’ll see a great video from this guy below, but here’s a link to one of his blogs, a website all about “finding the time and attention necessary to do your best creative work.” His information is great, but I also appreciate the technological, geeky dimension he brings to the table…

The 5 Pillars of Self Discipline by Steve Pavlina: Another great read I stumbled upon while doing some initial youtube research. I really like this guy’s writing style, and this articles always link to a bunch of other dope reads…

4 Steps to Raise Your Productivity & Consistently Get More Out Of Yourself (pt. 1) by yours truly: This was the first post I ever did strictly on productivity, right at the turn of the new year…in my mind, I knew a lot of people would be looking to set 2010 off right, so I decided to go with this concept of personal effectiveness. This post covers some of the most powerful ideas I came across all in one writing. Catch pt. 2 here…

Wake Up Productive w/ Eben Pagan: One of my favorite teachers online right now – what I really like about this guy is that he does mostly video training instead of the typical, boring written word. You’ll see one of his videos below, but check his blog for more…they’re really good. (Most go so in depth that they end up being kind of long though. For shorter clips, check the youtube channel…

…also, don’t forget about Think Right Now Intl.’s Accelerated Success Conditioning Software. Remember, this is the ONLY program a brother’s been using DAILY for five years to stay motivated, focused, faithful when times got hard and ON-POINT (them having a free newsletter, life-transformation kit and audio-interview series doesn’t hurt either). Click here to find out more now, and thank me later…

Recommended Scrolls

Video Archive

Contact a brother for any questions…I’m here for you.

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true power…Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” ~ Lao Tzu

Peace,
+B

Conquer Yourself, Lesson 13: How to Raise Your Productivity By HAVING MORE FUN

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 16:00:59 +0000

Sorry, but the Conquer Yourself series is currently down for renovation (as my first book and video-training program). Click here to pre-order and enjoy sample excerpts, and stay tuned for more.

Peace,
+B

Conquer Yourself, Lesson 12: How to Leverage The Power of Your Subconscious Mind to Work FOR YOU…

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 16:00:01 +0000

Sorry, but the Conquer Yourself series is currently down for renovation (as my first book and video-training program). Click here to pre-order and enjoy sample excerpts, and stay tuned for more.

Peace,
+B

Conquer Yourself, Lesson 11: Attaining Peak-Level Performance (How to Push Yourself to YOUR GREATEST)

Bryan Ogilvie — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 19:27:23 +0000

Sorry, but the Conquer Yourself series is currently down for renovation (as my first book and video-training program). Click here to pre-order and enjoy sample excerpts, and stay tuned for more

Peace,
+B

Conquer Yourself, Lesson 10: THE SCIENCE OF WILLPOWER

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 16:10:47 +0000

Sorry, but the Conquer Yourself series is currently down for renovation (as my first book and video-training program). Click here to pre-order and enjoy sample excerpts, and stay tuned for more

Peace,
+B

A Short Break from Conquer Yourself (Resources, References, Charts, Diagrams, Downloads & More FREE Good Stuff)

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 16:34:42 +0000

Today we’re going to take a short break from Conquer Yourself, but to review the entire series “suma total” (that’s right: I’m working on my Spanglish…you know you like it), go here. There’s even some secret, never-before-seen posts in that archive as well.

(They’re really just classic entries from back when my blog had the whole nature-walk, boyscout look going on…one that’ll show you the hidden architecture of self-discipline and another that’ll show you a preview of where we’re headed. Good stuff.)

Charts & Diagrams

Here’s the (revised) affirmations worksheet with extra space for personal notes, and here’s the foodlog journal for taking metrics on your diet and corresponding energy levels. THIS WILL GIVE YOU SO MUCH LEVERAGE ON YOURSELF IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY…so trust me and put my fancy design skills to good use:

Audio-Visual Resources & More

As review, here’s a couple of audio mixdowns teaching you how to harness, cultivated and protect your attention in the digital age (all imperatives in today’s techno-stressed world, mind you). Download the first one by Eben Pagan here, and the second one by Merlin Mann here.

Download audio file (eben4.mp3)

Download audio file (e-mail.mp3)

And here’s the video-tutorial, “How to Conquer Yourself: 5 Tips for Building Your Self-Discipline.” (See my youtube channel in full for more.)

And last, but not least – probably MOST IMPORTANT, honestly – here’s a link to Effective Time-Management Now!, which has been helping literally thousands of people to “Get more done faster, better and EASIER while DRAMATICALLY reducing your stress.”

Seriously, I’m one of six-thousand+ success stories, and if it wasn’t for Think Right Now Intl. (the company that makes these thought-and-behavior modification programs), this blog wouldn’t even be here. Give them a shot and check the page out now.

Peace,
+B

Conquer Yourself, Lesson 9: Technology is UNDERMINING Your Productivity, Not Raising It. (How to Bring an End to Email Overload)

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 18:30:32 +0000

Sorry, but the Conquer Yourself series is currently down for renovation (as my first book and video-training program). Click here to pre-order and enjoy sample excerpts, and stay tuned for more

Peace,
+B

Conquer Yourself, Lesson 8: 9 Keys for Effective Time-Management (Free Podcast Download)

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 17:06:06 +0000

Sorry, but the Conquer Yourself series is currently down for renovation (as my first book and video-training program). Click here to pre-order and enjoy sample excerpts, and stay tuned for more

Peace,
+B

Conquer Yourself, Lesson 7: Challenging (& Enlightening) Yourself AWAY FROM Laziness…

Bryan Ogilvie — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 16:56:49 +0000

Sorry, but the Conquer Yourself series is currently down for renovation (as my first book and video-training program). Click here to pre-order and enjoy sample excerpts, and stay tuned for more

Peace,
+B

NEW VIDEO TUTORIAL: How to Conquer Yourself (5 Tips & Techniques for Building Your Self-Discipline)

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 16:56:15 +0000

Enjoy…

Check out the Conquer Yourself series in full here.

Peace,
+B

The Major Key to Managing Your Time, Energy & ATTENTION…

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 16:34:06 +0000

Today I’m going to take a short break from the series: not really to rest or anything, but to put together a new video. Be sure to check back tomorrow for a great tutorial overviewing and explaining the Conquer Yourself series.

As a reminder, remember what we covered in lesson 1, that productivity is just as much about UN-doing things as it is doing them. Let go of all unproductive busy work because “the wisdom of life consists of the elimination of nonessentials.”

It’s hard to stay disciplined when you’re feeling overwhelmed, because your body will naturally shut down to recover itself, so your work-time focusing ONLY on the specific tasks that bring you closer to the end result, and throw everything else away.

Time, energy and attention (i.e: mind power) as a type of fuel you only have a limited amount to expend. Get rid of all the minor tasks that aren’t pulling you forward (like checking your email) and FOCUS on the key activities that do (like writing or selling).

To find out about the key self-development product I use everyday to stay focused, disciplined, motivated and on-point, click here. It’s an accelerated success conditioning program that works to re-wire your subconscious mind for RESULTS.

Take care, and message me for any questions…

Peace,
+B

Conquer Yourself, Lesson 6: Most Goal-Related Stress is STRICTLY Psychological (3 Techniques for Ending Work-Anxiety)

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 17:41:03 +0000

Sorry, but the Conquer Yourself series is currently down for renovation (as my first book and video-training program). Click here to pre-order and enjoy sample excerpts, and stay tuned for more

Peace,
+B

Conquer Yourself, Lesson 5: Native American Wisdom for Motivating Yourself & Overcoming Addictions…

Bryan Ogilvie — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 14:25:41 +0000

Sorry, but the Conquer Yourself series is currently down for renovation (as my first book and video-training program). Click here to pre-order and enjoy sample excerpts, and stay tuned for more

Peace,
+B

Conquer Yourself, Lesson 4: Self-Discipline Begins with a Desire for Self-MASTERY…

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 16:25:07 +0000

Sorry, but the Conquer Yourself series is currently down for renovation (as my first book and video-training program). Click here to pre-order and enjoy sample excerpts, and stay tuned for more

Peace,
+B

Conquer Yourself, Lesson 3: Personal Productivity Begins With HOW YOU TALK TO YOURSELF

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 19:22:38 +0000

Sorry, but the Conquer Yourself series is currently down for renovation (as my first book and video-training program). Click here to pre-order and enjoy sample excerpts, and stay tuned for more

Peace,
+B

Conquer Yourself, Lesson 2: The Hidden Key to OVERCOMING PROCRASTINATION Once & For All…

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 16:03:18 +0000

Sorry, but the Conquer Yourself series is currently down for renovation (as my first book and video-training program). Click here to pre-order and enjoy sample excerpts, and stay tuned for more

Peace,
+B

Conquer Yourself, Lesson 1: Beginning Steps to a Fully Productive Life

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 16:03:30 +0000

Here’s session 1 of Conquer Yourself, a blogging series on productivity and self-discipline I originally published back in March of 2010. Enjoy…

So What IS Productivity Anyway???

Productivity is the act of accomplishing results. We want to be “more productive” whenever we want to change something or create something that wasn’t there before, and “productivity” is everything that contributes towards that change or creation.

Eventually, we all hit a point where we realize that we can’t just manifest things with our thought. After the inspiration from a great movie dies down, the motivation from a great speaker wears out or the enthusiasm from a great new idea trickles away, if you’re like most of people, you found yourself not knowing what to do next (or why you can’t get yourself to do anything at all).

You might have poor habits that interfere (or completely contradict) your productivity, or you might not be able to differentiate between what’s productive and what’s not. You might spend a lot of energy towards a goal but at the end of the day, when you’re drained and exhausted, still feel like you haven’t gotten any closer to your major goals.

Productivity is the skill-set (and MIND-set) that puts all of this to an end.

The First Thing to Keep in Mind

“Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of nonessentials…”

That’s a quote from Yin Lutang, a Chinese writer and inventor. Lutang not only translated tons of classical Chinese texts into English to make them more accessible to us all (The Importance of Understanding, The Importance of Living, etc.), but he also invented the first feasible typewriter system for the Chinese language.

What Lin’s saying is obvious: we accomplish little primarily by bogging ourselves down with tasks that aren’t important, so if you want to accomplish things with yourself, you’ll have to first identify the specific tasks that bring you closer to that end and eliminate the B.S.

I also want to remind you of the importance of taking responsibility for creating results – of switching from someone who is just “doing” tasks involved into someone who’s steering an entire project.

Just like taking responsibility for your life gives you a greater sense of personal power (as I talked about in an older facebook note), taking responsibility for a particular project (the thing you want to be productive about) encourages you to come up with more effective and creative ways to bring it to completion. Whenever you feel confused about a particular task, relax, zoom out to the forest level, remember the end result you want to create, and work from there.

How This Series Began

Even though I’m naturally a pretty focused person, I don’t consider myself a productivity expert. This series actually began with me doing research on how I could be more productive myself: how I can get more writing done, develop the website more efficiently then I’ve been doing so far, etc. and in the process of doing this research, I found that good information is hard to find.

For instance, I remember watching this one video online called “The 2 Secrets to Greater Productivity“, or “The 2 Essential Keys to Self-Control” or something like that, and the guy giving the presentation just looked like somebody you couldn’t trust (cheap suit with the slick hairstyle, etc.).

He had these corny, hand drawn diagrams that he would hold up in front of the camera and he took forever to get to the two keys, which were:

1) congruence of word and action

2) buy my system

It’s really wan’t THAT bad, but it was mad funny lol :) – I just had to find it to show you:

So I’m like, “WTF??? C’mon man – you gotta be kidding me,” and decided to do the research myself, take the best parts and put something fresh together for people with the same concern to build on.

Also, the other day I came across this website where the blogger said:

“Y’know, one of the major keys to being productive is to just do what you need to do. For instance, a lot of people have programs they want to start and the main reason they don’t get it done or that not it’s successful is because they never sit themselves down to finish doing it…”

My first thought: “Look fam…if it was really that simple I probably wouldn’t be on your website looking for information in the first place.”

There’s definitely more to it then forcing yourself to the task, because not only is that difficult and unpleasant, it’s also impossible to maintain. You won’t maintain that for the long term simply because it’s difficult and unpleasant: it’ll feel unnatural, and you’ll actually end up subconsciously associating pain with the tasks you need to do to succeed.

One Last Thing

“You’re future can either be an extension of your past, or it can be something new that you create. Tomorrow can either be a replay of everything you’ve been doing up to now, or it can be the day where everything changes…” ~ Eben Pagan

So let’s get started…the first step is going to be the easiest of them all: just keep doing whatever you’ve been doing for a few more days, but keep a measurement of your activities.

Instead of trying to force yourself to make changes right away, just focus on getting a better understanding of productivity, procrastination and time-management FIRST (as these posts will help you to do), while using the form below to collecting a pool of objective, raw data for you to experiment with later on with that stronger framework.

The form is called “Clock Movements,” because that’s exactly what you’ll be doing, and you can download it either as an adobe acrobat PDF file or an excel template (if you need to make any adjustments, if you’d rather type it out then print it or whatever).

Later on, we’ll use a template that focuses strictly on procrastination habits themselves. More coming soon…

Peace,
+B

CONQUER YOURSELF: How to Enhance Your Productivity, Improve Your Time-Management, Attain Self-Discipline & More

Bryan Ogilvie — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 16:30:22 +0000

The Conquer Yourself series is currently down for renovation (as my first book and video-training program). Click here to pre-order and enjoy sample excerpts, and stay tuned for more

Peace,
+B

The Difference Between ‘Getting’ Motivated and STAYING THERE (3 Keys for Long-Term Motivation)

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 15:59:55 +0000

There’s 2 ways you can work on raising your motivation:

1.) The lightweight, popular, feel-good approach, where you’re making cute day-planners, putting inspirational quotes on your bathroom mirror and HOPING something will happen, and

2.) The heavyweight, not-so-popular, “OG” approach: the real deal where you’re putting in the daily effort, successfully networking, leading and motivating other people to get focused as you’re MAKING something happen.

The difference between these two approaches is the difference between night and day. It’s the difference between playing “Call of Duty” on your computer and being an actual soldier in Afghanistan RIGHT NOW.

Seriously though, it’s:

>> the difference between following somebody else’s set of routines (sold as a “foolproof method”) and being on a personal mission,

>> the difference between keeping busy with superficial tasks and transforming the environment around you, and

>> for our purposes here, the difference between motivation that lasts for a couple days (maybe a few weeks at best) and motivation that stays with you for the rest of your life.

Now don’t get me wrong, both ways have their uses (you need something to get people started), but if you want to see yourself “burning the midnight oil” for years to come – if you want to make self-discipline and unstoppable motivation a “given” in your life – then you need to GET YOUR WEIGHT UP: you need to leverage your subconscious mind and human nature in ways that AMPLIFY your motivation at the deepest level.

So let’s delve into some of those heavyweight techniques now. Hopefully it all makes sense and doesn’t sound like some crazed lunatic venting his rage at the passive docility of our techno-digital generation (which it actually is by the way).

Step 1: Discover Your Purpose

When it comes to staying motivated, if you don’t have a purpose in life, you’re kidding yourself, because the highest levels of drive and ambition NECESSITATE it. Without purpose, you simply don’t have access to focus of a deeper nature…you might get a “sneak preview” of it from time to time, but you’ll never be there for real.

David Deida, best-selling author of “The Way of the Superior Man” (click here for a great excerpt) says:

“Without a conscious life purpose a man is totally lost, drifting and adapting to events rather than creating them. Without knowing his life purpose a man lives a weakened, impotent existence, perhaps eventually becoming even sexually impotent, or prone to mechanical and disinterested sex.”

Just trust me: if you want to be fully engaged – if you want to go “beast mode” when it comes to your success – do whatever you need to do to discover your purpose, NOW, and orient your goals around that.

Step 2: Work on Your Subconscious Beliefs

This is something else I talk about often, but haven’t returned to in a while. Here’s the Cliffnotes version:

YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS IS ABOUT 0.1% CONSCIOUS, AND 99.9% UN-CONSCIOUS: Your subconscious mind truly is the hidden director behind all of your drives, emotions, behaviors, itches, scratches and freaky-little fantasies, so if you don’t get this part right, you’re unconsciously sabotaging everything you’re working to create.

For instance, if you want to start a business and build wealth for yourself, but subconsciously believe that money is evil or people will despise you for having it, you’ll “unconsciously sabotage” everything you do to start that enterprise.

If you want to be healthier or improve a certain illness, but subconsciously believe that you’re guilty for something you’ve done in the past so your body deserves it, you’ll “unconsciously sabotage” everything you do to get well.

So spend some time really thinking about your beliefs, WHY you think they’re true, and how that all relates to your personal goals. I guarantee you you’ll come across TONS of contradictions, hypocrisies and false assumptions that are keeping you on lock down without you even realizing it, because we all have them.

For more help in this area (it is the hardest of all three, by the way, because it’s intangible), check out the accelerated success conditioning program I use on a daily basis to consistently get the most out of myself. Do it.

Step 3: Improve Your Habits in Other Areas

I believe in the power of holistic thinking, and that means that sometimes, staying motivated requires fundamental changes to other aspects of life that don’t really seem related.

For instance, I have an entire section here on the blog about holistic health because one of my biggest self-development “growth spurts” came from deciding to go vegetarian 6 years ago. It saved a brother from depression, and completely revolutionized my day-to-day motivational state.

I even did a video awhile back called The 4 Elements: A Quick, Simple Morning Routine For More Energy, Creativity & Focus and several other posts as well as a video about “friends,” about how the people in your circle you THINK are holding you down may actually be holding you BACK, and how exactly put an end to that too.

So there you have it. Remember, these are called heavyweight techniques because they’re all “hard” (relative to putting inspirational quotes on your bathroom mirror).

If you think about it, what I’m really saying here is you can only raise your motivation when you CHANGE AS A PERSON, so don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t see instant results. Change is the one thing everybody wants but still spends their entire life running away from, so give yourself time and compassion as you work against that natural trend.

(Don’t get it twisted either: I still struggle with all this too. Over time, you’ll see that you have to keep coming back to all this and continually refine your process.)

Get to work on these three things and see what kind of realizations you have. Again, it won’t be easy, so check out that weblink I mentioned before for help.

Peace,
+B

How to Use Productivity to Gain Respect & Build Self-Esteem

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 15:45:51 +0000

Here’s the continuation of yesterday’s post, The Hidden Benefits of Getting Focused & Secret Side-Profits of Self-Discipline, where I talk about the unintended, positive consequences of being a productive, action-oriented person. Enjoy…

2: Getting Focused Gains Respect

We become like those we associate with, and people want to around other people who are setting goals, achieving results and developing the future. When people see that you’re focused – that you’re disciplined, action-oriented individual serious about building something important – they’re literally HARDWIRED to respect, admire and trust you…

Think about the last time you met somebody who was organized (a rare quality these days) versus the last time you met somebody who was a complete mess. How did you intuitively feel about one versus the other?

Better yet, spend some time asking women what they find attractive most in a man (a good exercise in its own right) and one of the things you’ll constantly hear is a man with DRIVE and AMBITION.

People make character assessments about other people based on their behavior, and subconsciously attribute self-discipline to some type of evolved power. If you become more focused and action-oriented, they’ll assume you have a certain maturity level other people just don’t…if you DON’T become more focused and action-oriented (if you’re seen as lazy and ineffectual) people won’t listen to what you have to say and your talents and potential won’t be taken seriously either.

Self-Discipline Builds Self-Esteem

Ever clean your entire apartment from head to toe? How’d you feel each time you came home for that entire week? What about when you got your first place, landed your last job or made your first sale and had a little money in your pocket??? Like a million dollars, I bet…

Productivity is the path to accomplishment, and the more accomplishments you have the better you’ll feel about being you.

Human beings have an inborn need to feel like they’re doing something constructive with themselves: if there’s no “positive growth” going on that we can take personal responsibility for, we’ll feel misplaced and insignificant.

This is by no means to say that if you’re simply “productive,” you’ll be ultimately happy and your life will be magically complete, just that being able to look at something you’ve achieved and can say “that’s me” to brings a sense of fulfillment you can’t get in any other way.

People who DON’T accomplish much, on the other hand, often feel a little bit depressed about life. Go too long without doing some new and constructive, you’ll start to question yourself and once you start to question yourself, that self-doubt poisons and undermines EVERYTHING you do, from your dating relationships and social interactions to your career goals and hope for the future.

So hopefully with these last few articles I’ve persuaded you to see how vital, urgent and beneficial self-discipline is to your own life in unseen ways. As a recap, the hidden benefits of getting focused include:

1.) That it’s a “hard skill”; that it’ll stay with you as a “core competency” for the rest of your life, no matter how you change as a person.

2.) That it gains respect, trust and admiration from the people around you (i.e: not having it raises questions about your maturity level and sophistication), and

3.) That it BUILDS confidence, thereby making you a more attractive, happier and more optimistic person in general.

Check back tomorrow for more free advice on getting focused, and click here for my favorite program on effective time-management.

Peace,
+B

The Hidden Benefits of Getting Focused & Secret Side-Profits of Self-Discipline (part ONE)

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 17:35:40 +0000

One thing I’ve realized by publishing TONS of blog posts, newsletters, lectures and videos over the years is that while many of us are familiar with the TASKS that lead to greater productivity, very, very few of us (maybe like 5-7%) are truly familiar with all of the BENEFITS that it consequentially provides.

At some level, almost everybody at least intuitively knows that we need to get organized, do our best to eliminate distraction and associate ourselves with intelligent, competent and loyal people, but almost no one connects these relatively straightforward techniques to a complete metamorphosis of their life for the better.

It’s interesting: on the front end, we mistakenly simplify getting focused to just mean, “time management tips,” while on the back end, we constrain the value of it too, by thinking of it only in tandem with “achieving goals.”

So during lectures or presentations, I often get people motivated by what I call, “The Hidden Benefits of Getting Focused” or, “The Secret Side-Profits of Self-Discipline” (which I think sounds a lot cooler). Check these out and let me know what you think:

1: Productivity is a “Hard-Skill”

…which DOES NOT mean “hard” as in “difficult to learn” (because it’s definitely not), but hard skill as in a fundamental technique to have in life, not simply another interest.

Learning to stay focused isn’t like learning Pilates or learning the health benefits of “Acai-Berry Cleansing.” It’s not just something cool to be into because it revolutionizes how you work and live on a deep level.

As we get older, we meet new people and change AS people: we have different experiences that transition us THROUGH different interests, philosophies and personal values. Personally, I’ve changed A LOT over the last 10 years or so (ask anyone who knew me in high school), but one of the things that always kept me together and helped me persevere was my ability to discipline myself on what’s important, and that’ll never change no matter who I become.

No matter what your interests are, no matter what your goals may be, no matter your religion, race or creed AND no matter how unsure you may be of what direction to take in the future, self-discipline is the underlying strength that dictates your success or failure in virtually EVERYTHING you do.

It’s simple: your ability to sit down and work on what’s important, to overcome procrastination or to get yourself organized is not a one-time learning investment, it’s something you’ll ALWAYS need no matter who you become or what you choose to do with yourself.

In fact, if you DON’T learn to get focused: if you don’t learn to discipline yourself and make laziness a thing of the past, you’re JEOPARDIZING everything you have going on, and ever will. Think about this and you’ll realize I’m right.

If you have a fear of failure that paralyzes you, if you constantly find yourself overwhelmed with distraction or just can’t seem to get or stay motivated about your goals and priorities, this is what you need to learn, RIGHT NOW.

Again, self-discipline is a fundamental life-skill that DICTATES success or failure in virtually every personal or professional goal you’ll set for yourself, for the rest of your life. It’s THAT important, and when you have this under your belt, you’ll have that special “oomph” that’ll separate you from the rest of the herd.

Check back for more “side profits” and hidden benefits tomorrow, and click here for my favorite program for managing my time and setting goals…

Peace,
+B

Why This Blog Focuses on Time-Management & Self-Discipline, NOT All the Other Random Topics I Used to Touch On…

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 19:05:28 +0000

“There’s two types of information in this world: the first of which consists of SUGGESTIONS and the second, SOLUTIONS…” ~ Eben Pagan

When you’re giving suggestions, almost everything you share boils down to your opinions and ideas: it’s you “breaking down” what you think is important and why you think the world works the way it does…the information is essentially about YOU.

When you’re giving solutions, almost everything you share is an answer to a real-life problem: it’s you guiding somebody else towards a specific result based on their wants or needs…the information is essentially about THEM.

This blog focuses almost squarely on time-management, self-discipline and productivity because the information I have to share in those regards deliver solutions that I can virtually guarantee.

When I Look Back Over the Years

…I want to look back at a career I can be proud of, and that necessitates me providing information in a responsible, professional way.

In my opinion, it’s irresponsible (and immature) to use a platform (such as a teaching venue or trusted relationship) for personal rants, or for exploring theories that you can’t hold yourself personal accountable to.

As I get older, my understanding of what I’m doing here and how I want to position myself change, so I’m constantly adapting and refining as I proceed. Most recently, this includes a commitment to be “right and exact” (i.e: precise and accountable) with everything I share.

For instance, I did a series of blog posts and radio shows on overcoming depression that brought in a ton of emails from actual, clinically depressed people (naturally, as I invited that type of response). This made me realize that there’s certain burdens I’m not willing to publicly take on, and certain boundaries I shouldn’t cross.

Although I’m a generally happy person, I can’t responsibly share information on “being happy” and guarantee results in the same way I can on being productive. Although I may have “insights” on other fields that other people may find valuable, that, by itself, does NOT entitle me to position myself as a general guru, because (again), they’re not actual, proven solutions I can hold myself to.

So it’s very important for both you AND ME to remember that I’m not the “Walmart” of self-help or internal development. I can’t give you virtually EVERYTHING you need to live a complete life, because nobody can.

“General” Coaching Promotes Parasitic Relationships

Interestingly enough, many “life coaches” and “spiritual gurus” (including religious leaders of a traditional sort) have a slave-like, pathological relationship with their followers, and me narrowing my focus is an attempt to avoid that dynamic.

On the part of the followers, it resembles a dependency complex: I see people walking around with their umbilical cords held out, looking for someone to save them from their own anxiety rather than responsibility for their own lives.

On the part of the guru, it resembles a superiority complex: I see someone using their intelligence like a slave-master’s whip, looking for someone to transfer their unprocessed shame onto rather then deal with their own guilt.

Avoiding this overall, parasitic, savior-type dynamic requires you, as the leader, to set boundaries for where you will and will not go, which is why this blog focuses on time-management and self-discipline, not all the other random topics I used to touch on earlier in my career.

In quite simple terms, I can’t be everything to everybody, and it’s much more valuable to be a meaningful specific than a wandering generality…

Peace,
+B

KINDERGARTEN SOCIETY: On the Cultural De-Valuation of Maturity & Adulthood…

Bryan Ogilvie — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 15:48:39 +0000

Here’s another “old-school resurrection” of one of my favorite and most well-received posts on the “infantilization” of our culture.

Even though this is more social-critique then actual productivity advice, I’m bringing it back so you can see how the two overlap. In other words, people conditioned to value youthfulness over maturity will also (subconsciously) value entertainment and distraction over work and getting results.

In this sense, there’s a subtle conspiracy against you becoming a productive and disciplined person, which you need to be aware of. Check this out:

Ever Wonder Why:

The content of popular music seems to be getting dumber, and dumber…and dumber??? Or why grown men are STILL fascinated with video games more then ever before??? What about sales for plastic surgery promising an infinite fountain of youth to our beautiful elder women going up, or news and political broadcasts getting simplified into child-like narratives???

…or anything else along those lines? If so, you might want to check out the cover story from a classic issue of the New York Times called “Forever Youngish: Why Nobody Wants to Be an Adult Anymore…”

I read this for the first time yesterday (mad late, I know) and it’s interesting…it talks about how we’re the first generation where a generation-gap no longer exists; how the line between adulthood and childhood is now almost to thin to even notice.

The article mainly points this out in the fields of fashion styles, musical tastes, and career choices, but (you know me), I’m more interested in the psychology – in the mental infant-ilizing of our culture (a “kindergarten society”) and the consequences we can expect to see as a result of that down the line.

Recommended Scrolls

(1) Life, The Movie: How Entertainment Conquered Reality, by Neal Gabler:

“…it says a great deal about modern America that no society has ever had as many celebrities as ours or revered them so intensely…

Not only are celebrities the protagonists of our news, the subjects of our daily discourse and the repositories of our values, but also, they’re so deeply embedded into our consciousness that many people profess feeling closer to and more passionate about them then their own primary relationships.”

& (2) CONSUMED: How Markets Corrupt Children, Infantilize Adults and Swallow Citizens Whole by Benjamin R. Barber:

“(The term)…‘infantilization’ is both elusive AND confrontational: on one hand it refers to the dumbing down of people and goods (as the market seems to produce more goods then the people need), and on the other, to the targeting of children AS consumers (in a market where there never seems to be enough consumers to begin with).

The evidence is everywhere: airport police handing out lollipops to calm passengers down at inspection points, television news owned by entertainment executives, dogmatic, black-and-white judgments in politics and religion…”

…and grown-butt adults running to catch the ice-cream truck (personal observation of mine).

I’m still working on the concept, but the rough logic goes something like this:

(We live in a) >> capitalist society (which has created a) >> consumer culture (that – in order to create more consumers – conditions the populace to towards) >> infantile thought and a child-like disposition

(consequently, this causes a) >> disinclination towards more complex, independent thinking (shown by a withdrawal from the reality of social and political concerns, ultimately leading towards) >> an ideal scenario for a totalitarian state (“savior-seeking” etc.).

I remember hearing somewhere that at one point it was ILLEGAL to advertise to children (wonder why). More coming soon…”

Peace,
+B

FREE Preview from My Upcoming Book (On Discovering Purpose & Becoming Purpose-Oriented)

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 16:17:59 +0000

Here’s a free preview excerpt from my upcoming book, tentatively entitled, How to Get Focused: A Conscious Guide to Overcoming Procrastination & Attaining Self-Discipline. Let me know what you think…

Discovering Purpose & Becoming Purpose-Oriented

Self-motivation is the offset of purpose and direction. In order to be productive and ‘on it’ when it comes to your tasks and goals, you have to connect those tasks and goals to an end result that RESONATES with who you are as a person.

Unless you ‘inject’ (or associate) personal meaning into the action-steps your goals require, you won’t maintain the drive or long-term focus they require either. In this way, getting focused is a natural consequence of self-discovery and self-definition…

For instance, When I was in college, I found it interesting that students would join programs just to have something to put on their resume.

Plays, debate teams, activist organizations, community programs and cultural clubs of all sorts were usually FILLED with kids who had no genuine concern for the vision, purpose or overall success of the group they were a part of, and this is where most of the slack came from…

“Resume kids,” were typically late, negligent, unaccountable and careless with the few responsibilities they did have, while “core members” carried most of the (unappreciated) burden, and this is one of the main reasons why many otherwise promising organizations eventually disbanded and broke down.

I’m not saying this to suggest that you’re being superficial about your own aims in life, just that if you’re having trouble staying disciplined, your goals may not be as rooted in you as they they could be, or (if they are) that you may of lost sight of that orientation.

So let’s start with a short exercise to make SURE you’re on purpose (while the rest of this chapter will give you techniques to maintain that focus over time)…” ~ fin

Peace,
+B

NEW VIDEO: How to NOT Notice You’re in an Earthquake (A Lesson in Concentration, pt.3)

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 19:17:28 +0000

A Lesson in Concentration, pt.1

A Lesson in Concentration, pt.3

Not too long ago, my older brother blessed me with some research material to help get my website off the ground…and something interesting from one his books stood out: (that) “THE WHOLE WORLD IS SUFFERING FROM A CHRONIC CASE OF ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER.”

It’s a quote by Rich Schefren, who says that this age of mass advertising, instant gratification, and advanced communication technology (high-speed internet, text messaging, etc.) has seriously taxed the average person’s ability to concentrate. Essentially, we live in a world of constant information overload, and for most of us, this comes with a severe price…

It’s a lack of concentration that keeps us unproductive and unable reach our goals. It’s a lack of concentration that keeps us from developing our talents and cultivating our skills, from using our brains (to recall important facts, think logically and make good decisions) and from gaining peace of mind. Ultimately, it’s a lack of concentration that keeps us in poverty: financial poverty, spiritual poverty and poverty of character…

Some Solutions

Now I’m no master on the subject, but I did get some help with this by checking out The Power of Concentration by Theron Q. Dumont a few years back: a mind-power masterpiece with an old-school vibe to it that you can’t find in the bookstores today.

“The person that is able to concentrate utilizes all constructive thoughts and shuts out all destructive ones. The greatest man would accomplish nothing if he lacked concentration…” ~ Theron Q. Dumont

Written in 1918, Dumont covers both the spirituality of concentration and the practical techniques needed to develop it. Get your hands on a free copy of the book here.

“Thermon Q. Dumont” is actually a pseudonym though: back in the day, he went under a variety of pen names and dropped jewels on a variety of subjects. Anytime you come across some classic spiritual, self-development material written by a:

- William Walker Atkinson, a
- Theodore Sheldon, a
- Magus Incognitus or a
- Yogi Ramacharakai,

…you’re talking about the same cat (I believe William Walker Atkinson was his real government though). He wrote almost a hundred books actually, including:

- “The Art and Science of Personal Magnetism” (in 1913)
- “Thought-Force in Business & Everyday Life” (in 1900)
- “Telepathy: Its Theory, Facts & Proofs,” (in 1910) and much more…

The Power of Concentration is another jewel El Rasun and I wanted to build on during Recommended Scrolls but didn’t have the time. Here’s one last word of advice from the guy…

“Do not become discouraged if you are unable to hold your thought on the subject for very long at first; there are very few can. It seems a peculiar fact that it is easier to concentrate on something that is not good for us than on something that is beneficial…but you can overcome this tendency when you learn to concentrate consciously.“ ~ Theron Q. Dumont

You can concentrate, but will you??? Remember, “sometimes only a trifle prevents one from becoming a success…”. Enjoy the video A Lesson in Concentration, pt. 1, and the article A Lesson in Concentration, pt. 2 for more…

Peace,
+B

3 Simple Ways to Make Your Mind INFINITELY More Creative, IMMEDIATELY

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 16:23:08 +0000

Here’s 3 key techniques you can start using IMMEDIATELY to boost your creativity. It’s the same stuff I use to put together concepts on a daily basis, as well as fuel my motivation for long term projects like the upcoming book…

Treat these techniques like a set of beliefs that you need to INTERNALIZE, not rationally prove as true or false.

If you’re the type of person who wants everything proven as perfectly sound and precisely valid before you’re even willing to experiment, I can’t help you. These are ideas you have to “try on” to see if they “fit,” and work from there.

As for me, I refuse to settle for mediocrity in my life, no matter what, and that’s why I’m willing to do ANYTHING that sounds conducive to getting results like the happiest, most productive people our planet has ever known do. So let’s get started…

1.) “I Truly Believe In My Mind’s INFINITE Power.”

The first affirmation is “I truly believe in the infinite power of my very own mind…”, which is difficult for most people because they falsely assume this to mean, “I think I’m God” (i.e. “I think I’m perfect) even though nothing could be further from the truth…

While feeling like this does require a bit of audacity, remember that there’s still a BIG difference between believing you’re invincible and simply believing that you can handle anything that comes your way (including a creative challenge).

In other words, to be creative, start by having FAITH in your creative abilities, just like to have self-esteem, you would start by having faith in your abilities in general.

Once you truly feel that your mind can always combine, assimilate and create new, interesting combinations of ideas, you won’t be as pressed about a specific creative block. Instead, you’ll realize:

>> What you feel as a “block” is really you just needing some time to rest and let it marinate,

>> That most creative limitations are really just emotional issues (like low self-esteem) playing themselves out in your work, and that

>> Since it’s natural to hit low points every once in a while, you still need to keep at it (applying those diagrams on self-discipline to your creative work, cause it’s the same principle).

So again, have faith in your mind’s infinite power. It’s OKAY to truly believe your mind is capable of anything artistically, and it’s NOT synonymous with thinking you’re beyond fault or anything.

2.) “No One Shares My Higher Purpose or Unique Nature”

In an old video presentation on free thinking, I said: “To begin (or enhance) self love, you have to appreciate your uniqueness, and forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made in the past.

First realize that, in all of creation, there is only one YOU….while somebody else can have you’re name, or any of your other attributes, nobody else can ‘be’ YOU.

In all of the planet Earth, and in all of the entire Universe, you’re a unique creature: you have a unique set of experiences, a unique set of talentts and skills, a unique perspective and a unique contribution to give to the world. That in itself is an amazing thing…”

So remember this as you’re putting ideas together. Even if you’re talking about something that’s been discussed before, NO ONE can talk about that something like you can.

Remember that you have your own voice, your own perspective, your own style and your own set of dynamics that you’re ALWAYS bringing to the table (there’s nothing you can do about it). So in that sense, you’re always making something original too…

3.) “Piece by Piece, I Increment Momentous Change.”

What I mean here is work in small segments your mind can grasp, not gigantic chunks that feel like mountains. (It’s more of a practical technique then a mindset shift, but it has mental implications as well.)

If you have trouble conceptualizing how you’d “freak” a particular project as a whole, break it down into small segments that you can “overstand” and deal with confidently piece by piece.

When putting the book together for instance, I don’t just sit there and write “an entire book,” obviously. First I create the outline, then I fill out each section with essential ideas (like note-taking in reverse), and then I rough draft each section.

THEN I read through the entire thing to get a “holistic feel,” and finally I come back to finalize each particular section one by one, so that it ultimately feels like a series of great blog articles tied together by a thesis (which I can handle) rather than an ENTIRE book (which I can’t).

Learn to zoom in and out of the forest. Just like if you were using Google Maps, where you’d start with a general outlay of an entire area (like the borough of Queens) and then you’d hone in on particular neighborhood to see how the streets connect (like Flushing, St. Albans or Briarwood) in order to make travel plans.

Remember to constantly transfer between the two perspectives. Go in, and then go out – come up, and then come down – and focus your creativity on the specific, small sections while using the forest-level overview to give you a sense of how it all comes together.

Hope this helps. I tried to be as general as possible so that it can apply to everyone, so if you have any questions in particular (or comments…cause I love comments) just leave them below.

Peace,
+B

Be Vigilant Against the Forces DESTROYING Your Focus & Concentration…

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 15:10:15 +0000

Today’s post is in audio form. Check it out and download it for your archives too:
Download audio file (vigilant.mp3)

Be Vigilant, Point-Up & STAY FOCUSED

“Be vigilant against the forces that are knocking your focus: sometimes the things that destroy your concentration, inhibit your productivity and alter your self-discipline come in UNDER the radar…you never really realize how detrimental they are until they’ve come TOO FAR into your circle.”

“The things that can knock you off and undermine your whole empire can be the simple things…things that permeate your life on a very subtle level, but because you’ve built up habits around them, you don’t even think to question it.”

Peace,
+B

MENTAL DIET: An Inspirational Cookbook for Productive Living and Emotional Strength

Bryan Ogilvie — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 16:39:15 +0000

Check these two recipes out, and let me know what you think. They’re both cool, simple, to the point and motivational…

1: “Positive Vibes” Salad

1 large round bowl of encouragement

Add a small bag of think outside the box cranberries

Pour in 5 small boxes of raisin proverbs

Add 1 small box of wholesome blackberry thoughts

Add a handful of mental granola determination

Garnish with listen attentively slices of tomatoes.

Lightly pour on it IS possible salad dressing, and enjoy…

2: Tuna Fish “Enlightenment” Spread

2 medium size cans of that’s a good idea chunk white tuna

Add 1 small container of enthusiasm

Seperate tuna with a God Will See It Through fork.

2 tablespoons of It Can Be Done mayonnaise

Liberally sprinkle going to see this dream come true salt.

Season according to expectation, mix well and serve cold…

These Recipes Are From:

Both of these recipes are from a good writer friend of mine, Mansu Edwards (Copyright © 2010, 2011) who just released the book Mental Diet, a collection of motivational “recipes” like this for daily inspiration.

Mansu was kind enough to send me TWO copies actually: one for me and another to give away to my readers, SO…

As part of my first ever “sweepstakes,” you can win a FREE copy of “Mental Diet” (along with a never-before-seen preview MY upcoming book) just by sending me a great testimonial.

Simply email me, bryan@dotheknowledge.com, a quick paragraph or telling me what you love about this blog (and why), and if yours stands out above the rest, I’ll send you BOTH:

1.) A free copy of Mental Diet, AND

2.) An exclusive excerpt from my upcoming book, tentatively entitled Doing The Knowledge: How to Get Focused, Attain Self-Discipline & Overcome Procrastination FOR GOOD.

Take care, and let me know what you think. For more on Mental Diet, check out Mansu Edwards’s blog, fanpage or simply email ohassa@gmail.com

Peace,
+B

Live Your Life Like You’re Already Dead (Ancient Samurai Wisdom for Emotional Wellbeing)

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 17:45:59 +0000

“The Way of the Samurai is found in death. Meditation on inevitable death should be performed daily. Every day without fail one should consider himself as dead. This is the substance of the way of the samurai.” ~ Yamamoto Tsunetomo

First off, a caveat: by “living like you’re already dead” I DO NOT mean “live like nothing matters anymore,” cause that’s just not cool. What I do mean is let go of your bullshit and identify with experience in the present moment.

To be clear, it’s what new-agey types refer to as “transcending the ego,” but I do my best to stay away from cliche terms, because the potency of an idea gets lost as it becomes general knowledge.

This is important to remember too: general speaking, the more commercial something is (whether that be a fad, idea or activity), the LESS significant it tends to become. Just like the depth of your own mind is found mostly in your subconscious thought, the depth, value and “truth” of a society is found mostly in its underground expression.

Some Good Examples

So yes, Echkart Tolle in The Power of Now refers to this as “present-mindedness” and you might also hear quantum physicists say things like, “the observer, the observed and the process of observation are one.”

Bro. Phil Valentine, in his video lecture The Book of the Earth calls this “Pi-Point Perception,” but I’m referring to it here as “Embracing Death” because to me, that’s exactly what’s going on.

Whenever we transcend the ego, live in the present moment or “use pi-point” a certain aspect who we are (i.e: who we’re PRETENDING to be) is dying: it’s passing away as we realize that all of our guilt, shame and limitation is part of a drama that we’re acting out VOLUNTARILY (albeit it subconsciously).

When asked who we are, we respond with our name, followed by things like our profession, our belief system and our ethnicity or national name. However, these are really just aspects of our personality – the word personality coming from the Greek ‘persona’, meaning ‘mask’

While we all have names, talents, personal goals, positions, titles and social roles, etc., that’s not who we fundamentally are. At a deeper level, we’re really just awareness: a self-aware “observer” animating the physical form, or “The Ghost in the Shell“…

I’m not too big on mysticism or anything like that, but I’ve found that “embracing death” has two valuable, practical benefits:

1.) It develops courage, because the void you enter into can be intimidating, and

2.) It allows you to conquer yourself, because it dissolves all of the psychological complexities that are inhibiting you.

For me, I had an awkward fear of it not simply because it freed me from self-critical thoughts, but because it constantly put me in a position of power.

The more I embraced death, the more I found others subconsciously giving me status and authority in almost ALL of my interactions, even in situations where it didn’t make sense (like at my job, in school settings with teachers, etc.). It can actually be scary…

The Way of the Samurai

“The Way of the Samurai is found in death. Meditation on inevitable death should be performed daily…when one’s body and mind are at peace…one should consider himself as dead. This is the substance of the Way of the Samurai.”

“There is surely nothing other than the single purpose of the moment. A man’s whole life is a succession of moment after moment. If one fully understands the present moment, there is nothing left to do, and nothing else to pursue.”

I first heard those quotes in the film Ghost Dog: The Way of The Samurai starring Forest Whittaker (one of the best films I’ve ever seen, by the way). Check out the trailer here:

A friend eventually told me how the film is based on the life of Yamamoto Tsunetomo, a Japanese samurai from the early 1700′s known for the wisdom contained in Hagakure (pronounced “Ha-Ga-Koo-Ray,” which translates as “In the Shadow of Leaves).

Hagakure is also known as “The Book of the Samurai”, “The Analects of Nabeshima (Yamamoto’s Lord)” or simply “The Hagakure Analects,” and in it, Yamamoto suggests:

“(that) becoming one with death in one’s thoughts, even in life, was the highest attainment of purity and focus. He felt that a resolution to die gives rise to a higher state of life, infused with beauty and grace beyond the reach of those concerned with self-preservation.” ~ from Wikipedia

Here’s a Few “Jewels” From It:

“People think that they can clear up profound matters if they consider them deeply, but they exercise perverse thoughts and come to no good because they do their reflecting with only self-interest at the center.”

“It is a good viewpoint to see the world as a dream. When you have something like a nightmare, you will wake up and tell yourself that it was only a dream. It is said that the world we live in is not a bit different from this…”

“In the words of the ancients, one should make his decision within the space of seven breaths. It is a matter of being determined and having the spirit to break through to the other side.”

“There is a way of bringing up the child of a samurai. From the time of infancy one should encourage bravery and avoid trivially frightening or teasing the child. If a person is affected by cowardice as a child, it remains a lifetime scar. It is a mistake for parents to thoughtlessly make their children dread lightning, or to have them not go into dark places, or to tell them frightening things in order to stop them from crying.”

Hope you find this as interesting as I did, and that it helps you to develop bravery and focus in your own life…

Peace,
+B

CHOOSE A WOMAN WHO CHOOSES YOU: Relationship & Dating Advice for Men

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 16:08:55 +0000

Here’s an excerpt from one of my favorite books, The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. I was reviewing it last night and this particular passage stood out to me.

As you’re reading, remember that everything happens for a reason, and that we learn most from our losses, not our gains.

Choose a Woman Who Chooses YOU:

“If a man wants a woman who doesn’t want him, he cannot win. His neediness will undermine any possible relationship, and his woman will never be able to trust him.

A man must determine whether a woman really wants him but is playing hard to get, or whether she really doesn’t want him. If she doesn’t, he should IMMEDIATELY cease pursuing her and deal with his pain by himself.

If you ever find yourself in a situation where you want to be with a woman but she doesn’t want to be with you, you must speak with your friends. Ask them to be honest with you: ask them if they think this woman really does want to be with you, or if she really doesn’t.

If your friends honestly tell you that this woman doesn’t want to be with you, it is over. You cannot enjoy a good relationship with her, even if she changes her mind. Once she feels your neediness, once she feels that you need her more than she needs you, she will never trust your masculine core.

The Priority of the Masculine Core:

The priority of the masculine core is mission, purpose and direction in life. The priority of the feminine core is the flow of love in intimacy.

If a woman feels your feminine is stronger than hers – if she feels that the intimacy is more important to you than to her – then she’ll naturally animate her masculine: she’ll want space, she’ll want freedom to pursue her own direction and she’ll be repulsed by your clinginess…

You are only punishing yourself when you want to be in a relationship with a woman more than she wants to be in a relationship with you. Of course, you must discriminate between whether she’s playing “hard to get” or whether she’s genuinely not as interested as you are. This is why you should ask your friends (and even her friends).

If it turns out that she really doesn’t want to be with you as much as you want to be with her, then it is time to realize that the relationship won’t work. In such a case, the poles have become reversed, with your feminine desire for love meeting her masculine desire for freedom.

This is not viable grounds for intimacy: it iss better to move on and work with your hurt than it is to continue demonstrating that your feminine desire is stronger than hers.

Peace,
+B

A Philosophy for FREE THINKING: (How to ‘Escape the Matrix’ & Maintain Your Sense of Originality)

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 17:32:19 +0000

Here’s a full excerpt from the first draft of my upcoming book…a section called “Knowledge Feeds Uniqueness,” from a chapter on self-confidence and being unique. Check it out and let me know what you think…

Knowledge Feeds Uniqueness

Knowledge is a burden until you transcend with it.

Knowledge can cause you to feel frustration, because if you know something and you fail to act up to that level of knowing, you KNOW that you caused your own suffering.

But knowledge can also cause you to feel Supreme, because if you know something and you DO act up to that level of knowing, you know that you can improve your life, and ‘bring it all within the domain of an exact science…’

So when you gain knowledge, what you experience as a result of that gain reflects your level of responsibility: If you’re responsible and self-disciplined, you’ll like knowledge, because it shows you how strong you can be, but if you’re irresponsible and lack discipline, you’ll dislike knowledge, because it shows you how miserable and weak you truly are.

Knowledge is power, and as we all know from Spiderman comic-books, with great power comes great responsibility…”

Your biggest responsibility is to yourself. Your biggest responsibility in life is to be yourself and to actualize your potential in order to make a contribution to the world.

The biggest contribution you can make is a great one that nobody else can. The biggest gift you have to give is not only large in scale, but unique in composition…

Goal-Setting & Cultivating Originality

Now a major part of goal setting and achievement (doing what you need to do to make this contribution) is the acquisition of knowledge: attaining the facts, skills and expertise pertaining to your field.

This expertise you gain will develop who you are. It will refine you and make you more individualistic, and this individualistic nature will carry over into all other areas of life.

Business men tend to think in business ways, even in matters which have nothing to do with business at all. Carpenters tend to think in ways that build, both when at their work and elsewhere.

Every skill, trade and invention first began as a form of thought, and metaphysically speaking, a form of thought is embedded into every skill, trade and invention.

Thus, you can not endeavor into a field for very long without also picking up the consciousness invested into the origination of that field…

You can not use a device for very long without also beginning to think like the thoughts which invented that device.

The craft you have, as well as the tools you use to fulfill the requirements of that craft, will, in time, mold your consciousness to reflect their innate nature.

But of course, you wish to be a free man, not someone retrofitted to the mental patterns of some machine.

The conflict arises because you’re not an inventor, and therefore, you can’t make your own tools. Even if you were an inventor, you would not see the logic in making new tools when you already have good tools at the ready.

I’m not suggesting here that you create new tools, but that you create new and interesting combinations of the tools that are already available to you. Instead of only using the tools that your craft generally uses, incorporate the tools, skills and mental approaches of various crafts into your own.

Do not confine your thinking of things to the way you are taught to think of them, and do not confine your doing of things to the way you are taught to do them.

Be an aikido master who incorporates concepts from Tai Chi, Jeet-Kune-Do, and ancient Japanese ninja. Be a chef who incorporates concepts from veganism, raw foodism, and the martial arts, or be a writer who incorporates concepts from information technology, internet marketing and Zen Buddhism.

Applying This in General

Apply this to the more general areas of life as well: Don’t eat in the same way other people are eating (including vegetarians and raw foodist), don’t listen to the same music other people are listening to, and constantly expose yourself to something new, alternative and advanced.

Refuse to follow the crowd: if you see everyone walking in one direction, purposely walk the other way.

Do not follow trends, refuse to join cults and in all cases avoid the mass psychology.

To escape the matrix, you must first learn to control it. As you manipulate elements within the overall informational field, you’ll start to create “glitches” in the various programs, and by observing and analyzing the glitches you create, you’ll slowly start to see how the underlying source code – which is invisible to you now – operates as well. Your first order of business is to BECOME AN ANAMOLY.

(Stop thinking of “escaping” the matrix, and concentrate on learning how to alter it instead. There’s more on this in the next chapter.)

This is why you must attain as much knowledge as you can: Knowledge, once you take responsibility for it, becomes a pool of data from which you can understand, construct and recombine reality – which is only a program – as you see fit.

Reality itself is an information system, or a function, and knowledge is the pool of data intentionally brought together to manage that functionality.

Through the acquisition and creative use of knowledge, make yourself and your lifestyle unique.

Peace,
+B

How & Why Most People IMPRISON THEMSELVES: Find Out Now So It Doesn’t Happen to You…

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 17:38:32 +0000

People imprison themselves by refusing to “leave the jail cell” of their conditioned thought patterns and behavior.

As the classic author James Allen once said: “Men are anxious to change their circumstances, but hesitant to change themselves…they therefore remain bound.”

And he’s right about that, because the essential nature of self-discipline is PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.

The bottom line is that you’ll never go too far with your goals, relationships or personal health if your first response to a challenge is, “Okay, let me go out and change this thing,” or “Look, it’s because this other person has this a problem why things went wrong.” you’re playing a losing game

Don’t Project, Blame or Allocate Responsibility

Trust me, I’ve studied A LOT of personal development material over the years, and all of the experts say the same thing: that if you want to start getting different results, you have to start engaging in different behaviors…

In that same time, I’ve also been vegetarian for about 6 years, had a good amount of (what I consider to be) satisfying relationships, a strong history in activist work and a fair amount of progress and success publishing information online.

I’m not saying this to brag about myself, just to say that I know what I’m talking about, and that it all comes from me analyzing and interrogating myself and interrogating MYSELF, not from thinking that I know too much to be wrong, or that my ideals about how the world should work are anything else but exactly that…IDEALS.

If you want to grow, when things go wrong, LOOK TO YOURSELF and think about what YOU could of done differently to fix the situation (or how your underlying worldview about how something, like relationships, works is faulty). Just trust me.

Don’t project either: This is me talking to you about YOU, not anybody else you know that this might apply to.

You can’t change the world around you with direct, immediate physical force; you can only adapt and transform yourself so as to consequent different results.

In this way, your experience is a reflection of who you internally are, and to the extent that you’re avoiding this truth, you’re imprisoning yourself to the external environment. You’re giving your power away (because responsibility IS power…think Spider-Man) to parameters over which you have no control.

James Whitaker (the first American to successful climb Mount Everest) once said, “You never conquer a mountain, because mountains can’t be conquered; you only conquer yourself.” and that’s an extremely insightful point:

When you accomplish something, the thing itself did not change, YOU DID in order to accomplish it.

The man who climbed a mountain CLIMBED a mountain (the mountain itself did not change),

The man who created a successful business CREATED a successful business (the economic environment itself did not change to adapt to him),

…so on and so forth. Accept this as common sense and apply it to your life as often as possible.

So if every time things go wrong, you tend to allocate fault (focus on what another person did wrong or why a situation isn’t fair), STOP.

In fact, whenever you catch yourself in the act, hold your wrist together as if they were bound by cuffs and then force them apart as if you were breaking free and say “I take responsibility.”

Begin with the small things (why the garbage wasn’t taken out, why there was a mis-communication or anything else inconsequential…my pet peeves list has good examples) and the larger things will take care of themselves. Also, stay away from people who whine and complain because negative energy is infectious.

If you want to turn things around in your life, start by accepting reality the way it is. Stop deceiving yourself about why you have the problems you do, and then from there, work on letting go of your old habits, faulty paradigms and other negative tendencies so that you can evolve into what your particular situation demands of you.

Peace,
+B

What a Group of HOUSE RATS Can Teach You About Productivity, Time-Management, Team Organization & More…

Bryan Ogilvie — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 16:10:51 +0000

NOTE: You can have me read this post TO YOU here (and even download it for your personal archives):
Download audio file (aesop.mp3)

“Long ago there was a council of mice who bound together to overthrow their common enemy, the Cat. They mice infested a small cottage and the owner eventually bought a cat to scare them all away, so they held this meeting to stage their counter-attack…

The council was filled with bickering, complaining, mass confusion and fear until a younger mouse stood up and said:

“Look, we all know that the problem is with the speed and stealthy manner in which the Cat approaches us…she stalks us and therefore has ‘the up’ on us before we even realize she’s there

So what we need to do is get a bell and some ribbon to tie the bell to the cat’s neck, so as she comes, we’ll hear her, and know to escape in time.

The council responds in joy, like “Dang that’s deep…” “Yeah…EXACTLY what we need to do.” “Brilliant…that’s our move”

…and there’s nothing but cheers and applause until an elder mouse steps up and says: “That’s all well and good, but which one of you volunteers himself to actually tie the bell???“

In everyone’s silence, he continues: “It is one thing to propose, another to execute…”

…that’s from Aesop’s Fables. Some people say it’s one of Aesop’s, others say it’s from somewhere else and falsely attributed to him, but the point is clear: it’s easy to suggest impossible solutions.

It’s easy to have a “council of mice” that’ll propose TONS of ideas that sound good theoretically, but actually sitting down and applying them is an entirely different story.

How This Works in Your Own Life

So the council of mice can metaphorically represent either: (A) your own inspirations and plans, or (B) group conferences and meetings that contain a lot of suggestions and excitement, but a TINY AMOUNT of personal accountability.

I read a book once called Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen, where he mentions that most corporations can boost their profits by CUTTING DOWN on meetings, rather then trying to improve them.

Most corporations tend to have meetings at regular intervals that are essentially rituals without purpose…a pointless habit that only DISTRACTS workers from working, rather then help them work better.

So what I’m saying, on one hand, is if you want to accomplish more, don’t focus too much on meetings and conferences…

Not that you shouldn’t network or coordinate tasks, just don’t worry too much about meetings, because they often turn into rambles, round-table discussions and laid-back “kick it” sessions that the most productive members of your group will grow to resent.

Purposeful meetings usually force themselves to occur: they’re naturally born and have a “what are you going to do, what am I going to do and when are we going to do it?” vibe about them.

More Personal Examples

When I was still in college, I was part of this dope activist organization, and one thing we tried for a while was using PHONE meetings to replace our live, physical ones, and these phone sessions were drastically more productive.

Whenever we had physical meetings,

>> people would be late (or not show up at all),

>> they would last hours, and

>> very little would get accomplished.

But whenever we had phone meetings,

>> people would be on time (or only slightly, reasonably late),

>> they would last maybe 10 or 15 minutes,

>> they were VERY focused, direct.

…and everyone left with an emotional sense of accomplishment. (Try adapting this into your group program or institution. It shows respect for everyone’s time and leverages technology in a reasonable way.)

Lastly, what I’m also saying on the personal level is NARROW YOUR FOCUS DOWN TO A PLAN YOU CAN ACTUALLY WORK ON.

You hear me talk about this all the time: be realistic about what you can do and what you can’t do, and sensible about what’s worthwhile and within reach (what you’re willing to actually execute).

Don’t get caught up in the internal council of mice. Let go of all the complaining, frustration, and idealistic, magical proposals…be the mature elder who deciphers between what’s real and what’s not.

Take it easy. I’m glad you checked this out, so leave a comment below letting me know your thoughts or if you have any questions…

Peace,
+B

Don’t Underestimate Yourself, and NEVER Downplay Your Skills, Talents & Intelligence

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 15:59:23 +0000

Don’t underestimate yourself, and never downplay the value of your skills, talents and intelligence…

Don’t think that because something is near obvious to you that it won’t be BEYOND revolutionary for someone else…don’t think that because your current skills aren’t enough to surpass your current challenges that they’re not MORE THAN enough to help somebody else surpass theirs.

Not reaching your own targets (on your own personal scale) does NOT equate to being incapable of helping somebody else reach theirs.

Remember that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, so your self-evident concepts may very well be another man’s “profound jewels of wisdom.” Remember that there will always be people who appreciate what you’re capable of, even when you don’t yourself.

Mental Strength Parallels Physical Fitness

Your mental strength parallels your physical fitness in that whenever you look through the mirror of self-reflection, you’ll always notice imperfection FIRST.

You’ll always notice eyebrows that are too thin, arms that are too flabby, legs that are too skinny or toes that are too fat BEFORE you take stock of your strong points.

But just because you don’t like everything you have on you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go out into the world, dress your best and carry yourself as confident as you can be, and it definitely doesn’t you won’t capture other people’s attention.

I’ve always had this problem with my writing (especially as I’m coming closer to finishing the book): believe it or not, very little of what I put on the blog or elsewhere is what I’d consider ideal, magnetic or powerful prose…

Self-consciousness is always a part of the process, but as you stick to it and learn to produce anyhow, it humbles you to the depth and intricacy of your craft.

“Not feeling that brilliant” is episode one to truly honing your skills: it’s the first step to noticing all of the nuances and particular demands that your discipline requires.

You can’t master something until you get your own ego out of the way, so not feeling that nice is a transitional phase that leads to the humility and respect that your field deserves, before you can join its ranks. (Think of it as nature’s way of weeding out those who lack dedication.)

Push through and surpass this phase by knowing that no matter how behind you are, there’s someone who will appreciate what you have to share, so don’t underestimate yourself, and never downplay your talents, skills and intelligence.

Peace,
+B

How Self-Development KEEPS YOU YOUNG…

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 15:35:21 +0000

Self-development keeps you young by nullifying (or inhibiting) the key factors that attribute to early aging (and aging itself).

The major 3 fields of all self-development work include:

1.) financial and career advice,
2.) dating and relationship advice, and
3.) health and wellness advice (weight loss, diet plans, etc. )

Coincidentally, the major 3 factors that attribute to aging include

1.) stress and anxiety over financial concerns and career problems,
2.) stress, anxiety and abuse caused from poor relationships and
3.) poor health, a lack of exercise, malnutrition, etc., etc.

So self-development keeps you young because the major 3 fields of interest and specialization directly combat (or neutralize) the major 3 factors attributed to aging.

Most of the money in the self-development industry – what’s estimated to be anywhere from 70-80% of profits made – comes from material catered towards financial prosperity, healthy relationships and physical wellbeing.

And most of the aging in affluent societies stems from financial problems, relationship problems or poor habits related to health and hygiene.

So self-development keeps you young by nullifying (or inhibiting) the key factors that attribute to early aging (and aging itself).

ALSO…Consider This:

Also, self-development keeps you young by nature of the mental exercise it requires.

One of the keys to long-term health and combatting old age is not just physical activity, but intellectual activity as well, and coincidentally, many of tasks associated with self-development require that mental exertion:

- reading,
- meditation,
- reflection,
- learning new skills,
- developing new habits,
- understanding new ideas,
- re-evaluating old ideas, and
- reframing the way you think about yourself and the world around you,

…all require the same type of mental activity that allows you to keep a youthful MIND well into your years of wisdom.

So self-development keeps you young by nullifying (or inhibiting) the key factors that attribute to early aging (and aging itself), and by encouraging you to consistently develop new, youthful and rejuvenative habits of thought.

Peace,
+B

Key Ideas & 2 Great Diagrams for Greater Self-Discipline & Realistic Success

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 18:25:25 +0000

I was with a good friend yesterday and drew a few diagrams for her about progress and success (how it really works and the different approaches you can take to it). Bear with my terrible penmanship and take a quick look:

Diagram 1: Eastern vs. Western Approaches to Success

This first diagram explains that we can take either a Western or an Eastern approach towards our progress. We can choose to focus on our goals with a mindset that’s predominant in American and European societies, or with another more predominant in East-Asian and indigenous culture.

“The western way is REWARDS-oriented, because in the western world you’re more likely to find people starting businesses and careers primarily for money, prestige and material gain.” I said.

“But the eastern way is PROCESS-oriented, because in the eastern world you’re more likely to find craftsmen and communal practices primarily meant for long-term health, spiritual grounding and mastery of a skill for its own sake (such as a martial art).”

“What’s interesting though,” I continued, “is that the eastern orientation is far more conducive to self-discipline, especially over the long term, whereas the western orientation (and value system) is really only conducive to stress, frustration, burnout and a LACK of long-term focus and wellbeing.”

If you’re focused only on the rewards you want, you’ll lack the patience to truly stick things out, and even if you do, remember that there are a lot of people who achieve success but still feel empty inside…”

Diagram 2: How Progress REALLY Works

I drew this second diagram to show her the difference between how we THINK progress occurs versus how it actually plays out over time.

“The top chart points out how we operate under the ILLUSION that because we’re working, we’re supposed to see constant, consistent results (with “time invested” on the X-axis, and “rewards” or “proficiency” on the Y).

The bottom chart points out THE REALITY, where:

- we see a little bit of results at first,

- then things STAGNATE (even though we’re still working hard)

- then we may even DIGRESS a little bit, in order to

…finally reach a small burst of growth and success to once again continue the entire cycle.”

The main thing I wanted her to get was that success, progress and even life itself is mostly a series of PLATEAUS (with slight rises and declines sporadically in between), not just one linear, constant progression, so you need to let go of that delusion if you plan on taking long-term action towards your goals.

“You’re a really dope person…you’re really smart and I believe in you, it’s just that every time I see you, you’re all over the place and your situation is completely different. So I think this is important for you to understand…”

(I also referenced a great book called Mastery: Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment by George Leonard (an Aikido master himself). Check that out by clicking here.)

Peace,
+B

A Simple, Quick & Easy Tip for INSTANTLY Eliminating Fear…

Bryan Ogilvie — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 16:04:39 +0000

One of the keys I use to help me INSTANTLY overcome fear is to replace the word “fear” with cowardice.

Now that I reframe most of my irrational fears – hesitation, intimidation, procrastination, etc – as cowardice (and I’ve hit a point where I can admit to myself that “for most of my life, I’ve been a coward.”), I’m much more motivated to move away from that type of behavior.

Cowardice is a Much More Powerful Word…

Words are a lot like magic spells in that the specific language we use DRASTICALLY molds our perception of different behaviors, choices, situations, and relationships.

The word “fear” is light, simple and cliche…everybody has a little bit of fear, so that’s a normal (and therefore, in a sense, acceptable) trait.

However, the word “cowardice” is almost like a direct, personal attack…it’s a pathetic state of being that NOBODY wants to be associated with.

People will do all types of crazy “ish” in order to NOT be considered a coward – race cars down residential streets, take all types of dangerous drugs and gamble away their family’s savings. So if you identify the “fears” that are holding you back as an outgrowth of what’s essentially cowardice, you’re much more likely to change your behavior ON THE SPOT.

…it’s what psychologists call “away-from motivation,” (because you want to move “away from” that type of identification). Just train yourself to see fear as having its root in a cowardly aspect of your nature (that you’re gradually learning to remove).

Try Asking Yourself:

The next time you’re afraid to do something out of irrational fear, try asking yourself “Am I a coward, or a grown man/grown woman? Does a grown man/woman do this, or do that???”

You can also insert your name and get specific, like “____, would a real man/woman allow themselves to be intimidated by this blank page/cute stranger at the club/ email to a hiring manager?”

Since the answer’s obviously no, you’ll automatically go with the decision that reinforces the type of person you want to be. It’ll help build your self-image and self-esteem.

So replace the word “fear” with cowardice. Re-orient your thinking to see all of your irrational fears as indicative of a cowardly nature that you’re gradually moving AWAY FROM in order to attain a courageous nature that you’re gradually moving TOWARDS.

Really, even though I’m talking about language and words, what I’m really saying here is MAKE A DECISION. Make a decision about the type of person you want to become and hold yourself accountable for it in actual situations…

For another great resource on eliminating fear, click here…

Peace,
+B

Mysterious Author from Antique Book Collection Drops SCIENCE on Courage-Building, Fearlessness & Bravery…

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 15:54:46 +0000

Here’s something cool: an unsourced article called “Character Building & Courage” from an online antique store, Old&Sold.com.

The author focuses on children and child-rearing, but I think the principles are generally enough to apply to ANYONE. Check it out…

Character Building – Courage

ALL parents want their boys to be courageous, and would like to see them heroes, yet often train them away from these ideals, or allow others to do so…

Such a mistake may easily begin in the cradle. (For instance) No child would ever be afraid of the dark, which gradually approaches each evening, any more than of the sunbeams that dissipate it at dawn, did not somebody fill its little head with stories of hobgoblins hiding among the shadows.

If, in spite of precautions, such needless fears get into the child’s mind, do your best to convince it that they are unreal (i.e: convince YOURSELF that your own fears are unreal); that the bedroom is as safe by night as by day; and gently cultivate stoutness of heart. No quality is more essential to happiness.

The Cause of Constant Misery

A timid child (person) is in constant misery: It imagines unreal terrors in each new experience, and magnifies difficulties. It is ever on the lookout for harm, and thinks of its own weakness instead of that of the foe. So it shrinks from effort for fear of getting hurt…

A courageous nature, on the other hand, dares joyously to put forth its whole powers, undaunted by rivalry. It does not retreat at the first rebuff, nor the second, but struggles on. It withstands oppression, and resists pressure upon its rights. Sometimes courage appears as physical bravery, as when a boy risks injury in order to do something that greatly needs doing, or when he defends his rights or honor, or a weaker companion, with his fists.

Fighting among boys is surely not to be encouraged; yet when your son comes home with a black eye and sore knuckles, inquire carefully into the cause of the fight and his feeling about it before you condemn him….

Sometimes a fight may even be worthwhile as disclosing to a timid boy the undeveloped manliness which he really possesses. A brave nature is a gentle one, but gentleness may, under bad management, degenerates into weakness and cowardice, and cowardice is usually at the bottom of meanness.

The Highest Courage

The highest courage, nevertheless, is that which is able to put aside a temptation to fight merely to show bravery, or for some other poor reason; which will enable a boy or girl to smile at a taunt that everybody knows is undeserved; and which, on the other hand, will enable a boy or girl, a man or woman, to champion an approved idea or person, however unpopular with others, and stand fast to the end of the chapter.

Physical courage is a good thing, but moral courage is above it. It is your privilege to teach your child to have both…” ~ fin

To check out more pieces like this (about friendship, responsibility, etc.) click here.

Peace,
+B

BE A MAN OF YOUR OWN MAKING: Self-Direction, Self-Definition & Self-Empowerment in an AGE of Complacency, Mediocrity & Fear

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 16:36:50 +0000

Just the other day, I got a text from a good friend of mine – a guy I went to school with – that said: “I’m glad I got this new apartment, and I guess I’m doing alright, but at 30 I feel like I should have a lot more to show for myself…”

That struck me as interesting, cause I live in NY now (he’s still in VA where I went to school), and here in the city, if you have an apartment at 30 that’s not a big deal.

It’s the same thing with not having a car, so his point made me think a lot about how everything is perception and works in context.

Being a Man of Your Own Making

So what I want to talk about here is establishing – and maintaining – a context FOR YOURSELF and your own direction in life.

Specifically, just like a small apartment may be a lot or a little depending on where you live, a small amount of progress can also mean a lot or a little depending on how you relate to it.

“Doing the Knowledge” and staying focused requires you having your own sense of vision, your own sense of meaning and your own sense of direction, regardless of whether or not the people around you think that that’s a good idea. (See “You’re Unique, So the FIRST Thing You Have to Do is Accept That You Won’t Be Accepted.“)

But the complementary idea to that is DON’T LET THE FACT THAT YOU’RE NOT YET WHERE YOU WANT TO BE NOW DISSUADE YOU FROM CONTINUING TO FOLLOW YOUR OWN PATH.

I’VE SEEN SO MANY PEOPLE…

Completely give up their dreams for:

>> a little bit of money,

>> a little bit of acceptance, or

>> a little bit of conditional love…

…only to LOSE their edge, LOSE their opportunity and LOSE their ability to get the satisfaction out of life they knew they could have otherwise obtained.

Heck, one time I had a girlfriend come out and ask me verbatim to choose between her and my work here with site (cause this thing takes a lot of time and energy), and I told her straight up, with the quickness, “I choose my work…while my work isn’t more important then you are as a human being, it’s more important to me then THE RELATIONSHIP I have with you.”

…and that was one of the most liberating moments of my entire life.

Remember, you can never own anybody like you own your purpose here on earth, and that NO amount of money can replace the self-esteem and justful pride that comes making your vision a reality.

Learn from Aesop’s Fables

Remember “Aesop’s Fables”? That collection of short stories about animals displaying wisdom (“The Turtoise and the Hare,” etc.)

There’s this particular one about a wolf and a dog who meet in a wild forest, where the dog says to the wolf:

“Hey man, you actually live out here???”

“Yeah…it’s pretty rough, but I manage. It’s going to be a cold winter, so I’m just preparing for it now…staking the territory, etc.” says the Wolf.

“Wolf, I got an idea…you should come back with me! I got plenty of food, warm shelter, and I can even shower every few days or so!!!”

“Really. Aite bet…I’ll come check you out.”

But when they finally get there, the wolf realizes that the dog has a Master, and when he sees the dog getting chained to the fence, he starts running for his life.

So the dog goes, “Hey! Where you going!?”

And the wolf replies with something deep like, “I’d rather be liberated and starve then overfed and ENSLAVED…”

So again, stay true to your own drive, and don’t renounce your ambitions simply because you’re not YET as successful as you want to be.

Peace,
+B

BEAUTY BEGETS LOVE: Relationship Advice from Guest Blogger Genially Green Earth

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 16:11:14 +0000

Today’s entry is a special post on relationships by guest blogger Genially Green Earth (All Rights Reserved). You can check her out on Facebook for more…”

BEAUTY BEGETS LOVE

“BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER.” When we think of this quote we mostly identify it with the physical attributes of a woman or a work of art. Something that says, “beauty is not defined the same by everyone.”

Still, all too often we see beauty as an external gauge of physical attractiveness defined by others, never ourselves. “BEAUTY” is that something that’s not for everyone or everything…a title reserved only for the highest of high, up there with words like glamorous and extravagant, somewhere above most average beings and things.

So I Ask You: Are You Beautiful?

“Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder,” we also know this means beauty is not just skin deep, but even more than that this quote relates to an understanding that should be taken internally and exuded from one’s entire being. It challenges us to not be so judgmental of what we consider less than beautiful. To instead accept a person or thing for what it is and try to identify with its true value.

We can’t try to change it to fit our idea of ideal or our image of imagination. Instead we must (or at least try to) recognize that we and that thing, that less than beautiful thing, have something truly in common. It challenges us to humbly recognize the beauty and greatness in ourselves, all people, relationships, and events in life. This quote challenges us all to be honestly human in all our imperfections and grace.

Am I Talking To Broad For You? Let me make it personal…

You know how it is, the spring rolls in and every single man or woman out there OR unhappily committed lover (creepin’ you kno’) goes out looking for that “spring fling,” that “summer love!” That hottie with the banging body. That man with the G-stance. That seasonal satisfaction! AooWW! Looking for someone to love, someone to love them back too!

Yet the catch is…For what reason do we choose these seasonal sensations?

Is it because that spring fling fills that empty space inside with summery love and good feeling? Or is it because we recognize the beauty within that person and would love to help them manifest that beauty tenfold?

Now, be honest…you never thought of that second option until you just read it.

Don’t worry it’s not uncommon. I say, how could you recognize the beauty within another if you haven’t seen it within yourself. When you close your eyes and look in the mirror of your mind, do you see beauty? Do you see perfection? Do you envision the best version of self that you have to offer the world at this given time? Do you see someone worthy of Mr. or Mrs. Right? Do you see someone you’re in love with, someone you’re dedicated to? (umm, just a hint, that someone should be you)

Sounds just a bit crazy, I know. Thinking to yourself and saying “Gee, I love me, I’m so beautiful!” (and following up with a good mental hug). I know it sounds egotistical. Maybe the mental hug is a bit much, okay…But, really sit for a moment and think about it, imagine yourself at your highest of heights in every regard, what do you see?

Are you someone with a fulfilling occupation, the car of your dreams, dream house, with the loveliest guy or girl, and in a passion filled, loving and honest relationship? Probably not, I’m talking about La-La-Land for most people. Know why?

Because most people don’t even strive for half of that, let alone
think to obtain it. Just like beauty is something for the highest of high
we think healthy and loving relationships are too.

Most People Will Tell You:

Are you getting a visual here? We accept these ideas as truth because we’ve convinced ourselves that all the beauty in life is non-existent. That beauty doesn’t resonate from within, but instead is gauged from how others view us and our accomplishments.

We’ve done this by convincing ourselves that we are not beautiful, we are undeserving of greatness, that we are not capable of having those truly loving and honest relationships. You know the ones you see on TV? Or better yet the ones that you know of personally, but still say “Well who knows what’s REALLY going on at their house? Mmmhhmmm”

So What Happens Then?

WE SETTLE! We settle on unloving and superficial relationships that reflect our internal environment (not on purpose of course). We do this because those relationships make us feel and think that the way we live is quite okay, “Hey, How messed up can I really be if I found someone? I’m good!”

We settle on relationships that distract us from our own weaknesses. We settle on spewing spitfire at our counterparts when they don’t fulfill us the way we expected them to ( Remember “Every healthy relationship has arguments.”) We settle on looking for external sources of fulfillment instead of starting the loving process from within. (You know that hottie with the bangin’ body feeds your ego something real good!) We settle on obtaining crutches in life to mask our own inequalities.

We settle on blaming others and the world for why our love life doesn’t work…

“It’s because of you that I ___________ !!!”(insert your recent life’s drama here).

“It’s your fault that I _____________!!!” (insert your unfulfilled dreams here).

In reality it’s not anyone’s fault: you’re to blame for your lack of self-love. You’re responsible for not looking at your counterpart and seeing them for all their inequalities, all their imperfections and still out of humble understanding (love), appreciating their undeniable BEAUTY.

But who wants to do that right? We’re looking for instant gratification! Perfection from the start! Well you know what? You got it! You just have to learn how to recognize it and accept it for what it is.

That man or woman that you are working day and night to change is as perfect as they’ll ever be the day you met them, because that is them as natural as can be. There is no beauty above natural beauty.

SELF LOVE must be the first love…

Behold the Beauty within so that you can accurately recognize the beauty in others.

Self Love must be unconditional, unmatched and never undermined by the external world.

You cannot expect anyone you meet to fill in the blanks of your soul. You have to learn how to truly look at yourself through loving eyes before you even think about asking another to love you. That is when those voids dissipate, that is when you begin to welcome healthy loving relationships into your life. That is when you behold true beauty.

If you can’t live with yourself, how in the world can you ask someone else to?

You have to start the loving process from within. Recognize yourself as true beauty – always a work in progress – but a beautiful process at that. In that way when you go out next spring, looking for your summer love, you’ll be attracting a healthy and whole love and not just someone to fill your vacant heart. You’ll be able to create that passionate love folks sing about. It will be purely…beautiful.”

5 Very Important (Mostly POSITIVE) Things About People & Human Nature…

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 17:59:16 +0000

Continuing on from Friday’s post, here’s a few principles about people and human nature that are mostly positive (or at least neutral).

Most of the time when I touch on this subject, I’m negative: I’m usually talking about:

>> negative thinkers weighing you down,

>> never letting someone else abuse your friendship and

>> avoiding people who settle mediocrity.

But I’m learning that people aren’t all bad – especially in the context of leadership, group dynamics and so on, there’s a lot to be said about people leveraging their energy and efforts towards a collective good. Here’s 5 examples…

1.) When Two People Meet…

When two people meet, one of the first things their subconsciously searching for is who’s going to be in control…”

This is a big one, and it’s a very subtle occurrence, so it’s important to know, but difficult to sense if you don’t already see it happening all around you.

Human beings are social creatures, so we can’t help but operate with some type of unspoken power dynamic in place. We instinctively figure out who’s going to lead (and who’s already leading other people) as soon as we meet them simply so we know how to function.

Another aspect of this is that people are usually looking to be directed and told what to do. Keeping this in mind will help you take the leadership role when you need to.

2.)Whenever People Come Together…

Whenever people come together for a common cause (good or bad) that cause is usually achieved.

Simply put, people bound together make things happen. Something as simple as telling someone else your own personal goal (and asking them to check up on you about) makes it FAR more likely that you’ll follow through (if for nothing else but to maintain your social image).

So always be on the lookout for the right people to involve or inform about what you have going on (key word right people). When you have good, strong minds interested in a particular thing, it makes it more real…

3.) People Will Support…

People will help to support what they helped to create. We develop a vested interest in seeing something we built prosper and succeed…

Municipalities often name blocks after hometown heroes, and one of the reasons people are interested in my first book is because they’ve seen my growth online over the years…

So again, don’t hesitate to share the wealth. You never know how it may all turn out in your favor.

5.) People Organized…

People organized around a common mission, a common purpose and a common goal become an unstoppable force

This is an obvious one: take a look at social movements, sports fanaticism, religions and cult-behavior for examples. When people have a purpose or collective meaning to lash onto, they lose their rational thinking, never critique themselves and become adamant, relentless and unrestrained.

5.) People Want to Be Part…

People WANT to be part of an organization that is moving forward, achieving goals and/or pursuing worthwhile causes

Think sports or charity drives. The main point here is that (1.) everybody wants to feel like a winner and (2.) everybody wants to feel like they’re doing good in the world, even if these feelings have to come vicariously thrugh another entity.

By working on your own goals, you provide a sense of meaning and direction to everyone who participates in it (even if they only give moral support).

6.) People Only Do Things…

Lastly, as a special bonus, people only do things to satisfy their own selfish motives.

If you want to get someone to take an action they wouldn’t take on their own accord, speak to them in terms of what THEY want, not what you want. (Frame the action or choice as being congruent with their own motivations, desires or ideals).

Of course, you can always ask for a favor here and there, but successful persuasion relies on understanding the other person, and speaking to them from their own perspective.

Just remember that you can’t convince somebody of something until you understand them. Click here for more advice on this…

Peace,
+B

5 Very Important (Mostly Not-So-Positive) Things About People & Human Nature…

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 17:25:05 +0000

Here’s a few things I picked up from motivational speaker JP Maroney: not all originally him, but just where I heard it first. I’m sharing them with you because they resonated on a deep level…

NOTE: I’ll be on a radio station in Harlem reaaal early tomorrow (Friday, the 29th). It’s WCHR at the City College of New York, and I’ll be there from 6am-8am discussing Self-Discipline. It’s station number 90.3FM I think, and you can check out their website for more.

1.| People Instinctively Resist Change

People instinctively resist change with every fiber of their being: they simply don’t like to try new things.

I highlighted this in post like You’re Ahead of You’re Time and Keeping Self-Development Simple pt.2 , that trying to help OTHERS change as you’re changing yourself is an uphill battle that’ll most likely leave you with tons of lost effort and energy.

Remember, there are people in this world who’ve been running the same script in their lives for 40 years. Just because something makes sense or is obviously in a person’s best interest doesn’t mean that it’s enough to make them change their deeply ingrained habits of thought and behavior. (This is why advertisers and effective counselors appeal primarily to a person’s emotions instead.)

2.| The Law of Emotional Gravity

The law of emotional gravity states that 1 negative person can pull 5 positive people down, but 5 positive people CAN NOT pull one negative person up…

I talked about this in depth on this week’s earlier post, How to Transcend the Negative Thinkers That Are WEIGHING YOU DOWN, so check that out, but just keep this fundamental principle in mind, cause it speaks for itself.

3.| Whatever You Want People To Think

Whatever you want people to think and feel about ANYTHING (including you), you must be thinking and feeling it first.

It amazes me how much we as humans look to other people for approval, leadership, and meaning. There’s a psychological phenomenon called “social proof” that explains ths.

Bottom line: people are LOOKING to be led and told what to do, but they’re also intuitive enough to detect whether or not the other person leading them is genuine or not. Keep this in mind…

4.| Looking At A Person’s Past Helps Predict Their Future

Look at a person’s past and it will help you to predict their future, unless they have a significant emotional event.

Again, people change and make serious subconscious shifts primarily off of emotion (especially traumatic events). This is why hiring managers need resumes and our society is so based on record keeping (credit scores, report cards, criminal records, finanical reports for businesses, etc.)

99.9% of the time, someone’s future is simply just an extension of their past. Unless something major happens that causes them to “wake up,” put your money on someone being the same exact person they’ve always been…

>> doing the same things,
>> having the same relationships,
>> using the same language,
>> thinking the same thoughts,

..or otherwise living their life on constant repeat. It’s just the sad truth.

5.| Watch What People DO, Not What They SAY

Watching what people DO, rather then listening to what they SAY will tell you what kind of person they are.

Don’t get too caught up in somebody’s words, promises, ideas or re-assurances, cause whenever we’re down and out, the only thing we have to save us ARE our words, so we tend to get really creative at that time.

BEHAVIOR is the ultimate barometer. In fact, it’s been said that “true learning = behavior change.” I’m not saying that you should be unnecessarily impatient with someone, just realistic.

Hope this helps (hope it gives you some ideas or motivation to do what you know you need to). I’ll be resting from the blog tomorrow, but in Monday’s post I’ll list some more, this time POSITIVE, things about human nature to help “keep hope alive.”

Peace,
+B

How to Get Yourself READING AGAIN (4 Simple Tips)

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 16:15:03 +0000

It’s hard isn’t it???

You spend all this energy to go down to the library, take the time to find a free pdf-ebook version of it online or even COUGH UP SOME OF YOUR HARD-EARNED “DOE STACKS” to get a hold of that book you’ve been fiending for, but, after all that effort, it just…sits there.

And YOU KNOW you should read it: nobody needs to convince you about the wisdom or value contained in-between those pages, but, for whatever reason, it just….sits there.

I know that feeling because I was in that position for a minute myself. Ask any of my old roommates about “Bryan’s Book Collection” and they’ll go, “Yo, that n__ is crazy!!! He got maaaaaad books…like, waaaay too many books. There’s no way one human being can read all of that within the span of a single life time. It’s just not possible.”

In other words, I had a serious problem (of getting books and never finishing them), but for whatever reason, I was just lucky enough to finally figure it out.

I actually donated about 3/4′s of that collection a couple month’s back and have since moved on to a new life of manageable, enjoyable, PRODUCTIVE literary tastes. Here’s some tips to help you do the same:

1.) Start Light, Not Heavy

Pick the habit up again with:

>> short stories,
>> 20-page guides,
>> a novella,
>> articles

….or other “light-weight” pieces. Don’t come back into the gym and try to bench-press 250 just because that’s what you could do the last time you were serious.

The other day I mentioned books like Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach or The Art of Money Getting by P.T. Barnum. Start back with easy reads and short works like that just to regain momentum and resurrect that sense of accomplishment.

2.) Make It Relevant

The more you can feel like an author’s speaking directly to you – the more you can relate what he’s saying directly to your own situation – the more likely you are to stay with him.

Even if it’s not something about your particular problems or personal aims, make it something that validates you. Make it something that gives you the verbal ammunition to express something you’ve always felt, and you’ll be well on your way.

Whatever you do, DO NOT start reading again just for reading’s sake. Do us all a favor and do not come back into this as a way to APPEAR intellectual or sophisticated. That’s just not cool…

3.) Connect With Others

There’s this girl I started talking to a couple weeks ago, and guess what: I met her on the bus as she was (duh-duh-duh) reading a romance novel.

I told her I’ve been looking to get into romantic literature (just to get a better understanding of how women think), so we started talking about authors like Zane, Danielle Steel, etc., and she let me borrow one of hers…

Now the book itself is actually whack, but I keep reading it simply because it’s part of our interaction (it basically gives us something to talk about).

It’s called Wild Wyoming Heart and I take that comment back: it’s not THAT bad once you get into it. The book’s really about sexual tension, how drama can amplify attraction, male archetypes, and so on, so it’s pretty interesting.

4.) Get Rid of What You Don’t Need

Like I said before, I donated 75% of my collection to a local library, and that took a lot of weight off my shoulders.

Overview your entire book-museum (book-cemetery, maybe?) to see what you can get rid. Like anything else, learning to LET GO frees your energy up – here, it’ll liberate you from feeling like you have to read EVERYTHING, which we subconsciously associate with things like homework, compulsion and force.

Hope this helps. For a suggestion of great books that I’ve just finished, click here…

Peace,
+B

How to Transcend The Negative Thinkers That Are WEIGHING YOU DOWN

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 15:26:30 +0000

There’s two types of pollution in this world: environmental pollution and what Bro. Phil Valentine calls “thought pollution.”

There’s also two types of ghettos in this world too: socio-economic ghettos and what Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth call “Ghettos of the Mind.”

…now you and I both know that you don’t need to live next to a toxic waste dump or in the middle of South Bronx to experience those more psychological forms of contamination, deprivation and despair.

So since I’m not educating you on something you don’t already understand (that Negative People SUCK…Energy Out of YOU), let’s get straight into the “what to do about it” part. Here’s 3 tips to help you the negative thinkers that are literally WEIGHING YOU DOWN

Get Them Out Of Your Life

Negative people are like parasites, so limit your interaction with them as much as humanly possible. I talked about this in my video series on getting focused:

Educate Yourself Properly

What I mean by this is read books like Atlas Shrugged or Jonathan Livingston Seagull, both classic, fictional metaphors about the powers needed to surpass negative, parasitic environments. Here’s a few quotes:

QUOTES
“The question isn’t ‘Who’s going to let me?’, it’s ‘Who’s going to stop me???’” ~ Ayn Rand (author of Atlas Shrugged)

“What he had once hoped for the Flock, he now gained for himself alone; he learned to fly, and was not sorry for the price that he had paid…” ~ Richard Bach (author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull)

“Man’s proper state is an upright posture, an intransigent (resolute) mind
and a step that travels unlimited roads.” ~ Ayn Rand

“Jonathan sighed. The price of being misunderstood, he thought.
They call you devil or they call you god….” ~ Richard Bach

“The man who thinks must think and act on his own. A reasoning mind
cannot work under any form of compulsion…it cannot be subordinated to the needs,
opinions or wishes of others. It is not an object of sacrifice.” ~ Ayn Rand

Jonathan Livingston Seagull is a short novella, Atlas Shrugged a deep novel; both share similar ideas. I suggest the first for a light read and the second for in-depth understanding.

Define Your Own Parameters

…and embrace your unlimited power. In a recent newsletter, I said:

People like you and I deserve to live a different, more fulfilling kind of life, but we deny ourselves that honor by allowing smaller minds to set the parameters on our existence.

…and by assuming that by playing small, we’re being considerate to their weakness.

For most of my life, the logic I’ve lived by is tantamount to thinking I can help a diseased man get well by pretending to be diseased myself, and I’m willing to wager that you’ve been playing that same card…

So it’s time to stop playing around: it’s time to show this world the power of our minds WITHOUT APOLOGY, damn the consequences.”

Remember, since most people are content with mediocrity, there’s a subtle, mental form of that “thought pollution” being transferred onto you that you may not even realize.

Do EVERYTHING YOU CAN to put an end to this now, and refuse to ever settle for less then the best you can possibly be…

Peace,
+B

PACE YOURSELF: A New Video On Being Realistic, Patient & Compassionate As You Grow to Be Stronger, Wiser & More Productive…

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 17:56:14 +0000

PACE YOURSELF by Being Realistic

…stop seeing your setbacks and delays as evidence of inability or innate weakness, and stop trying to make changes on a scale that’s not feasible for where you’re at now.

Stop idealizing the developmental process, and forgive yourself for dwelling on past failures, setbacks and mistakes…

PACE YOURSELF by Being Patient

…stop rushing to the end result like you can get JUST BECAUSE you want it, and stop letting our society condition and delude you towards instant-gratification.

Stop idealizing accomplishment and success, and forgive yourself for forgetting the sacrifice, dedication and commitment that mastery requires…

PACE YOURSELF by Being Compassionate

…stop refusing to accept yourself as you are THIS MOMENT, and stop holding yourself to an impossible standard of perfectionism.

Stop idealizing human nature, and forgive yourself for the private torment you’ve put yourself through thus far…

Remember the difference between pushing yourself and BATTLING yourself, so as you grow into a stronger, wiser and more productive person, cultivate the inner-voice of understanding and encouragement, not discipline and despair.

Peace,
+B

The 2 Types of Self-Development ADDICTION (& How to Overcome Them)

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 17:33:38 +0000

Trying to develop yourself can be a tricky thing, because sometimes the whole process BACKFIRES on you like legal or medical malpractice.

If you’re not careful, you can end up wasting maaaad money…or have a crib full of foolish gadgets and gizmos that you THINK look cool, but really just make you look like you need some help

One of the ways this “malpractice” happens is with what’s called “Personal Development Addiction”, which in my experience takes two forms I call (1) EXTERNAL Personal-Development Addiction, and (2) INTERNAL Personal-Development Addiction.

…because one is caused by forces outside the individual’s sphere of influence, and the second is caused by forces inside that individuals own psyche. Knowledge this:

How to Medicate the External Kind

External Personal Development Addiction happens whenever we:

>> blindly follow some mystical guru,

>> waste tons of money on gadgets, books, programs and “tools” but never really use them (some people even go into DEBT), or

>> otherwise waste time, energy and money on the industry’s products and have very little to show for it.

In case you haven’t noticed, self-help has become a VERY commercialized field: it dwells mostly on gimmicks (rather substance) and CAPITALIZES on people’s pain, anxiety and desperation (rather then solve it).

Good self-help marketers understand the science of CREATING problems and issues (that only THEIR products can solve) just like the pharmaceutical industry understands the science of constantly creating new diseases (that only THEIR drugs can heal).

“Deceptive Intelligence,” is all around you, and don’t think for a second that because someone’s rapping about “self-realization” or “life hacking” that they’re free from that dynamic. Many people are addicted to self-help because they’re pawns of this manipulation

This is something I’ve addressed multiple times before, so for help on deciphering between the real and the false, see post like Is the Self-Help Industry a SHAM??? or Funny Political Cartoons EXPOSE Self-Development Hoax…

How to Medicate the Internal Kind

The internal style of addiction is way more subtle and difficult to detect. I was just reading a book not too long ago called Healing the Shame That Binds You with a section called:

Addiction to Guilt and Shame:

“You can also be addicted to guilt in a toxic way. Toxic guilt says you have no right to be unique — to be the very person you are. To stay in toxic guilt forces you into constantly taking self-inventory. Life becomes a series of problems to be solved rather then a mystery to be lived.

Toxic guilt keeps you endlessly working on yourself and analyzing every event and transaction. There’s never a time for rest because there’s always more you need to do. Guilt puts you in yoru head a lot. Guilt is also a way to feel powerful when you are really powerless.

Statements like ‘I’ve made my mother mad.’ or ‘I’m responsible for her sickness’ are actually statements of grandiosity (because they imply a sense of control).” ~ author John Bradshaw

And that really resonated with me because, for instance, if you check out my facebook profile, under the “about me” section you’ll see the phrase: “I’m really into knowledge and self-development. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I’m a knowledge-maniac, but…well…I’m a knowledge-maniac. Deal with it.”

…which is interesting, because being addicted to developing yourself is a clever way to disguise shame and guilt

In other words, because I was ashamed of things I’ve done in my past, a lot of things that I’ve learned and accomplished to better myself were done to VALIDATE me as a person…as a way to say to myself, “I really am okay…look.”

Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with trying to be a better person and accomplish more in life, but when the primary MOTIVATION for that is to make you okay as a person, you’re heading down a path that knows no end and contains no satisfaction.

It’s just difficult to see that that’s what you’re really doing, because it’s hidden subconsciously.

Concluding Thoughts

The point I’m making here is twofold:

1.) Take the time to sit down and analyze WHY you’re striving to accomplish or develop yourself, and

2.) You need to FORGIVE yourself for the mistakes you’ve made in the past (even the most jacked up ones), because if you don’t, NOTHING you do or accomplish will “atone” for it. The demons will always haunt you…

For a good portion of my life, I was really no different then someone who wanted a fancy car or a brand-new watch to feel important, it’s just that I disguised it under other, more constructive terms. Don’t let that be you…

Peace,
+B

PAIN IS A POSITIVE THING: 8 Techniques to Bounce Back From the Inevitable “Low-Points” in Life

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 16:55:39 +0000

Take a good look at the Yin & Yang symbol and you’ll notice that even in the side that’s completely dark, there’s a small little speck of light, and in the side that’s completely light, there’s a small little speck of dark…

You can look at your personal growth and success in a similar way: When you’re on top and everything is going smooth, all it takes is one little error in thinking – one small factor you overlooked – to bring you back down.

And when you’re feeling low like there’s no hope for tomorrow, all it might take is one small insight – one simple change beneath the radar – to get you back on your feet.

Eastern Philosophy Meets Western Self-Help

I’ve been trying to connect the insights of Eastern Philosophy with the concepts of Self-Development like this for awhile now (see this radio show I did on the Chakras or this older post I put together honoring Lao-Tzu for examples), and this is one of the biggest ideas I’ve come across.

In any sport for instance, you need both a good offense (yang) AND a good defense (yin) in order to succeed, and that serves as a metaphor we can apply anywhere.

If you want to succeed financially and build wealth, you need to make money (offense) and keep a portion of what you earn over time (defense).

If you want to succeed romantically and build relationships, you have to attract a high-quality person (offense) and deepen a connection that sustains itself over time (defense).

To succeed at any personal goal, you need the specific skill-set that the goal requires (offensive yang) and the self-esteem and perseverance to handle failure when it comes (defensive yin).

In all fields of life, offensive “yang” is what initiates the game and defensive “yin” is what sustains the success.

See what I mean? All of that wisdom can be drawn from the simple image (or “glyph”) of Yin & Yang, but the thing is, since we’re in the western world, we’re in the habit of thinking primarily through words, not symbols…

So let’s get into some specific techniques on how to build the “Yin” aspect of that science…

8 Techniques to Build Your Defensive Game

1.) Be Patient: Stop EXPECTING life to not have road bumps, obstacles, serious problems and stress. The sooner you can accept that things rarely ever go as they’re planned the sooner you can orient your thinking in a problem-solving way.

2.) Be Prepared: Don’t cut off friends or social contacts when you’re in a relationship, don’t squander your money when you’re in a good spot and don’t eat WHATEVER when you’re feeling healthy and good. Don’t let a positive present make you less vigilant towards the future…

3.) Always Study: Always be growing…always strive to take your habits, skills and worldview to the next level. Marcus Garvey says, “Never forget that intelligence rules the world and ignorance carries the burden. Therefore, remove yourself as far as possible from ignorance and seek as far as possible to be intelligent…”

4.) Always Reflect: Journal, meditate, join a 12-Step program…do something that allows you to take inventory of your own thinking process and bad habits, as well as give you a chance to come up with the ideas and action plans you need to turn things back around.

5.) Stop Taking it So Seriously: Don’t get melo-dramatic or have panic and anxiety over your situation. Bob Marley says, “Don’t worry about a thing, cause every little thing’s gonna be all right.” And if you look back over the last 8-10 years of your life, you’ll find that to be true.

Keep in mind that one day you’re going to look back on everything and either laugh, be amazed you got through it or be surprised you even thought it a problem to begin with.

6.) Rise to the Occasion: Take responsibility for what’s going on and use it as a platform to strengthen yourself. Never cower from an opposing force, whether that be a person or a situation you’re unfamiliar with. Be like someone from the Earth Kingdom in the cartoon series Avatar: The Last Airbender, and STAND YOUR GROUND.

7.) Raise Your Self-Esteem in general: I talk about this often because your self-esteem is the fundamental lens through which you see the world. Click here for more advice.

8.) Stop caring what other people think: One of the main reasons we have anxiety isn’t so much because of our problems in and of themselves, but because of how we THINK we’ll appear in someone else’s eyes.

“True courage is shown most in bearing
reproach when not deserved…we ought to be afraid of nothing
but our own wrongdoing.” ~ from McGuffey’s 3rd Eclectic Reader

Remember what I said about the yin-yang principle above, and for more on dissolving panic and anxiety (which is AT THE HEART of any type of recovery process), click here.

Peace,
+B

Special Warning Notes on Success for the African-American Community…

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 15:45:01 +0000

“I believe that people have to respect their own lives like they do their cars. You control your car. You give it energy to move (fuel), you start it, drive it, maneuver it and stop it when and where you want…and I know many people who need to do the same with their lives.

They need to get some energy and drive themselves where they want to go or (at least) to where they now THINK they want to go and maneuver through life as they would down a busy street.

What does it take for a person to do this? In my opinion, it takes faith, values and goals. By faith I do not mean religious beliefs, although they are important. By faith I mean true belief in YOURSELF.

I mean the belief that if given the right information, the right perspective, and a reasonable understanding of what to expect and how to deal with occurrences when they happen, there is a chance you might get to where you want to go.

Special Notes as a Black Person

As a Black person, there are many historical reason for your having little faith, very legitimate reasons. But opportunity is knocking hard today and you can make your own opportunity where none may seem to exist.

Today’s Black folks have more possibilities for their lives than any generation of Blacks in the history of our existence in America. Many Black people gave all they had so that you could be where you are now…

If you blow it, you will waste not only your own life, but also the efforts of MILLIONS who came before you and you will certainly be making it more difficult for those who come after you.

I don’t spend an awful lot of time trying to raise people from the dead because I realized an important principle a few years ago…look at either history or current events you will note that “winning people” choose themselves for success, but much of life (Black life in particular), is based on WAITING to be selected.

Think about it:

>> In school we stand in lines, raise our hands and wait our turns to be selected for something we value.

>> We apply to colleges and graduate schools to get our educations and be “qualified” and THEN

>> We send out resumes and ask for jobs and promotions, waiting for someone ELSE to select us and decide for us whether or not we’re going to fulfill OUR dreams. That’s the fate of the common person.

How To Lead YOURSELF To Success

Leaders start off by leading themselves first. They respect what others say and think of them (sometimes) but it doesn’t have a whole lot to do with where they are going with their lives.

After faith, people need values (i.e: subconscious beliefs) and goals that are not in conflict. Most motivational books talk about goals but few mention values.

If you are an adult around thirty or so, you probably have values that are much older than your latest goals, so if you seem to be getting no closer to your goals now than you were when you first set them, your problem could be that you’ve set goals that are in conflict with your true beliefs.

Your true beliefs are so deep that they’re a part of your fundamental value system, a system that’s anchored and rooted in your brain, your habits, your speech, your environment and your very essence.

So if given the choice between your twenty day old goal and your twenty-two year old values, which do you think your conscious and unconscious mind will lean towards??? You got it!

Black folks as a people have values that work against them taking charge of their own lives. They are rooted in our historical relationship with power and how respond to it (rather than seize it).

They’re rooted in our religious beliefs. They are rooted in our leadership and our role models…Hell, just by deciding to go into business for yourself you’ve already broken with most of Black tradition.

I’m not going to tell you what to believe or exactly how you should shape your values, but I do ask you to really check yourself and ask yourself what do you really believe and what proof do you have to believe it. (Proof to yourself, not anyone else).

If in doing some internal examination you’re rethinking some of your values, beliefs and habits, then you’re doing the preparatory work on which to build successful goals.”

…that passage was written by George Subira way back in the 80′s. I’m always amazed at how the timeless wisdom can be (particularly about the subconscious mind). Check out the book this is from here, and if you’re ready to gain the beliefs, habits and mindset of the most successful people on the planet, click here.

Peace,
+B

7 Ways to Let Go of a Past Relationship So You Can MOVE ON with Your Life…

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 14:53:57 +0000

I was talking with an old friend yesterday, and he told me that AS SOON as he learned his ex-girlfriend was moving out of town, he met another amazing girl who seems like relationship material.

For some reason, even though they’ve been apart for several years – and even though he’s been dating and enjoying the single life – he’s had trouble finding someone he could really bond and connect with.

But what are the odds of that??? The second his ex leaves town, he just “happens” to meet somebody else remarkable. Did this new-girl just pop up out of nowhere? Did a cosmic black hole open up down the block from him to unleash her coincidentally?

Of course not…he just took notice of the new girl because he moved on psychologically. Something about the ex-girlfriend leaving gave his subconscious “permission” to move on, and so he opened his eyes to new possibilities.

We talked about this, and I can definitely relate: I’ve had to throw away letters, erase thoughtful emails and delete naughty home-made videos to get past my ex’s and “open up the space” (because I love hard).

7 Actual Tips for Moving On & Opening the Space:

What’s more interesting is that just the day before, another friend of mine sent me a link called 40 Ways to Let Go & Feel Less Pain, from a blog calledTiny Buddha, which talked about this same idea.

It built on everything from relationships to stress and anger (you can catch the full article here), but here’s a few of the relationship ones with my additional commentary:

1: Identify What The Experience Taught You to help develop a sense of closure.

I’m glad this one comes first, because to me, it’s the most important. One of the biggest keys is to realize that relationships exist to help us grow as individuals, and I think the more a couple can identify with this approach (regardless of whether they stay together or not) the more they’re on the right track. See the book Building Your Mate’s Self-Esteem for more.

2: Write Everything You Want to Express in a Letter, because even if you choose not to send it, clarifying your feelings helps you come to terms with reality as it is now.

…I’ve done this A LOT myself. It may feel kind of corny, but since the lines of communication aren’t always there after a breakup like they should be, being able to express yourself helps you feel “okay” as a person…it helps you stay sane.

3: Remember both the good and the bad. Even if appears this way now, the past was not perfect. Acknowledging this may minimize your sense of loss. As Laura Oliver says, “It’s easier to let go of a human than a hero.”

4. Un-romanticize the way you view love. Of course you’ll feel devastated if you believe you lost your soul mate. If you think you can find a love that amazing or better again it will be easier to move on…

5. Visualize an empowered single you — the person you were BEFORE meeting your last love. That person was pretty awesome, and now you have the chance to be him or her again.

6. Create a space that reflects your present reality. Take down his pictures; delete her emails from your saved folder.

7. Hang this statement somewhere you can see it: “Letting go is love. Holding on is attachment…”

Peace,
+B

MARCUS GARVEY on Being More Successful, In Demand & Removed from Ignorance

Bryan Ogilvie — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 16:44:01 +0000

Here’s Marcus Garvey re-iterating what I’ve been trying to tell people for YEARS with programs like Recommended Scrolls and Mind-Elevation Radio. I figured him breaking it down validates it at a deeper level. Check this:

Use Every Spare Minute:

“Use every spare minute you have in reading. If you’re going on a journey that would take you an hour, carry something with you to read for that hour until you have reached the place. If you are sitting down waiting for somebody, have something in your pocket to read until the person comes.

Do not waste time. Any time you think you have to waste put it in reading something. Carry with you a small pocket dictionary and study words whilst waiting or travelling, or a small pocket volume on some particular subject. Read through at least one book every week separate and distinct from your newspapers and journals.

It will mean that at the end of one year you will have read fifty-two different subjects. After five years you will have read over two hundred and fifty books.

Remove Yourself from Ignorance:

You may be considered then a well read man or a well read woman and there will be a great difference between you and the person who has not read one book. You will be considered intelligent and the other person be considered ignorant. You and that person therefore will be living in two different worlds; one the world of ignorance and the other the world of intelligence.

Never forget that intelligence rules the world and ignorance carries the burden. Therefore, remove yourself as far as possible from ignorance and seek as far as possible to be intelligent….

If you know what others do not know, they will want to hear you. You will then become invaluable in your community and to your country, because men and women will want to hear you and see you everywhere…” ~ Marcus Garvey

It’s from something he put together called, “How to Read” and you can catch the full version here, or click here to check out some “Recommended Scrolls” (suggested reading).

Peace,
+B

How to Get Control Over WHAT YOU EAT: A Great Technique for Improving Your Diet, Health & Nutritional Discipline

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 15:20:53 +0000

In yesterday’s post about emotional strength, I mentioned watching your diet as a way to keep your feelings and overall mind-state “in check,” so today let’s make that even more practical.

Here’s a foodlog you can use to track everything you intake and, most importantly, how it effects you:

…with columns for:

>> Time: when, and maybe even why, you ate,
>> Hunger: scale it from 0-5, zero being not hungry at all, five being Starving Marvin,
>> Nourishment: what you ate and how much,
>> Pre-Emotion: how you felt BEFORE the meal or snack,
>> Post-Emotion: how you felt AFTER, and a
>> Supportive Thought: statements to keep you in-tune and on-track.

Again, click here to download the pdf for all this, and click here to see my original first draft in full:

Remember, “Processes that are measured improve, and processes that are measured and REPORTED improve exponentially.”

The Science Behind This

Stick with this for two weeks straight (I’m not kidding). It takes A LOT of discipline at first, but once you get the hang of it, the power and leverage you’ll gain over yourself will astound you.

If you fall off track, don’t try to “catch-up” and recall whatever you forgot to put down, just re-start where you are. This keeps it easy and makes it more likely you’ll keep up the habit.

If this sounds too robotic for you – like it’s limiting you’re freedom or something – you’re wrong.

The reality is, we humans are EXTREMELY predictable creatures: we go about the same routines (mentally, physically and emotionally) in routinized ways.

If you take a second to look at how we behave sexually, financially or socially, it’s just like an episode of Animal Planet. This is what psychologist and sociologists have been identifying for years. (Read books The Red Queen by Matt Ridley or watch documentaries like Sexual Intelligence or Stress: Portrait of a Killer for examples.)

The idea that we have free will and control over what we’re doing on a day-to-day basis is, for the most part, just that…AN IDEA. It’s something we tell ourselves to maintain a sense of pride and deceive ourselves into the belief that we’re in control, when we’re really not.

The thing that makes us unique though is that we’re self-aware (or at least we have the option to be, anyway). The sooner you can accept this fact – and see how it plays out in your diet, for instance – the sooner you can get leverage over yourself and REALLY become empowered and free by setting up a system that supports your natural routines.

Remember, you’re NOT in control…you can’t “willpower” (as in force) yourself into eating better, feeling better, thinking better or doing anything better for that matter.

You’re going to keep doing the same things REGARDLESS of whether or not you face the music, so your best bet is to get actual data on yourself and use that data to find out how to naturally bring out the best in you.

2 FULL WEEKS (download the foodlog here). Stay tuned for more soon…

Peace,
+B

EMOTIONAL STRENGTH: How To Find It, Use It, Keep It and STRENGTHEN It…

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 16:20:05 +0000

I’m all about being a productive and accomplished person, but a big part of that isn’t just the techniques, it’s emotional and psychological concerns that need to be addressed at a deeper level.

“Doing the Knowledge” (getting focused and action-oriented) requires both an inner game AND and outer game – a yin & yang, if you will – so you have to focus on both if you want to experience long term, sustainable progress, development and success.

Sometimes:

>> you experience a breakup that sends you into a short depression,

>> your self-confidence is so low that you doubt whether you even DESERVE the success you can achieve,

>> you move to a new phase of life (school, career-change, parenting, etc.) and have trouble coping with the change,

>> you just feel down and have no idea WHY,

…or any of a host of other things that can send you spiraling down a path of emotional pain that leaves you virtually INCAPABLE of doing some of the more practical things we talk about here.

So let’s cover a few tips for building emotional strength: for finding, sustaining and strengthening your ability to cope with the inevitable ups and downs as you do your best to become a better person.

Tip 1: Expand Your Threshold

In my latest video on relationships, the speaker Umar Johnson said:

“You have to be willing to go through the pain of your past in order to sort out your present. Many of us don’t have the emotional discipline, willpower and tolerance for pain that’s necessary to travel back into your psycho-history, so you can understand what went wrong and heal yourself now.”

So what I’m saying here is don’t be afraid of it. Teach yourself to be more comfortable with the side of you that’s not so pretty.

Most people enter a state of “frantic re-assurance” whenever emotional pain comes up…rather then allow themselves (or the person) to experience the pain so it can process, most people look at the emotions as a problem in and of itself.

Since emotional pain needs to be AVOIDED at all costs and solved immediately, we say things like:

“Oh no – it’ll be alright…don’t worry.”

“You have to remember that ____ (insert objective fact the person already knows that doesn’t help them at that point in time).”

“Stop crying…” and so on.

I remember one time I was sitting with my ex-girlfriend in her car when she started crying and I simply said to her “It’s okay to cry…,” because I couldn’t think of anything else to help out, but just saying that eliminated about %70 percent of what she was feeling.

She said that nobody ever told her that before…that she remembered growing up and always being ridiculed and condemned by her parents for being sad and feeling down.

So alongside whatever she was feeling, she had the added weight of trying to PRETEND and COVER-UP over it, with the additional GUILT just for feeling sad by and of itself. Those emotional habits carried out into her adult life and she didn’t even know it.

Don’t let this be you – expand your threshold for emotional pain. Allow yourself to feel down once in a while so you can explore the deeper issues that are plaguing you. This is probably the biggest thing…

Tip 2: Give Yourself an Allotted Time

It helps if you give yourself a predetermined amount time to go through all this. Before you consciously explore anything, say to yourself, “Alright, for the next 10 minutes, I’m going to feel down, but that’s okay, cause after that I’m going to go right back to what I was supposed to do.”

If you need 3 hours, make it 3 hours and if you need a couple days, make it a couple days…there’s something about an allotted time that makes the whole thing easier to digest. Not sure why…

Tip 3: Talk to Somebody

This is an OBVIOUS one, but I’m still amazed at how many people don’t feel like they have anyone to go to about what’s truly bothering them, so I’m saying it again

In relationships, we often assume that if we share too much of what’s wrong with our lives, that it’ll draw the other person further away. We assume it’ll damage the connection, the subconscious logic must be, “Since I don’t like that aspect of myself, he probably won’t like ME for having it.” or whatever…

But in my experience, the opposite is true: sharing weaknesses and concerns brings two people closer together. You may even find out that that person has gone through (or IS going through) a similar thing.

Just throw something out there one time (start light). You’ll be amazed at how energizing and rewarding the conversation will be.

Tip 4: Avoid Sweets (and Cheese)

I forget the actual science behind this one, but I read it somewhere in African Holistic Health, 4th Edition, a few years back.

Basically, I know from my own experience that if I eat too much sweets, breads or cheese I’ll feel down…I won’t feel as creative, as sharp, as witty or as motivated about doing ANYTHING, actually.

If I eat an overdose of raw fruits and vegetables (and drink water), I’ll feel up…I’ll laugh more, be more outgoing and have more optimism about EVERYTHING.

So whenever I have a meeting, a date or some work I need to do, I pro-actively know before hand, like “Aite, this is important, so let me not eat anything stupid before I mess it up.” and it always works.

…it’s actually getting to the point where I look at cheese and visually SEE depression. A good holistic health tip is to train your eyes to actually see the resulting state of eating something (depression, exhaustion, indigestion, etc.) when you look at food, not the material itself. It’s like having “3rd Eye Nutrition,” something.

Did you hear the metaphor I used earlier, “Don’t eat anything stupid“??? I associate negative states with malnutritious things intuitively, and it’s taken me a long way.

Again, you can actually condition yourself to get grossed out over the things that aren’t healthy for you, even if you’re drawn to them now. It’s like reverse-psychology over your diet.

But in any case, take notice (you can actually chart this out) of what foods put you in what emotional states, and if you HAVE to eat them, at least make it around times where it won’t affect you as much…

If You Really Need Help

If this is something serious for you – something you KNOW that you need to get handled, then I recommend Think Right Now International’s program Freedom From Depression Now!

I have this (and about 5 other ones from them) at home right now, and it helped me get through a traumatic break up a few years back. (If you can’t tell, I’m a pretty sensitive guy.)

In short, it’ll help you reach a state where you:

>> Replace dwelling on failure with focusing on success,

>> Let go of all unnecessary and inappropriate guilt,

>> Welcome intimacy and closeness with the people you care about and

>> Begin each day with genuine optimism and high expectations.

…so for more, go here. I give this thing %110 of my confidence (I used it myself), so just go check it out to find out more

Hope this helps. Take care and be sure to check out the blog tomorrow for more great free tips.

Peace,
+B

More Productivity Tips for Accomplishing More Each Day….

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 16:00:52 +0000

Continuing on from yesterday’s post, here’s a few more tips for time-management, productivity, staying focused and relaxed success.

Tip 4: Stay Organized

…be a bit more “obsessive-compulsive” about your physical space: clean everything up and organize everything in a logical, structured way.

Having an orderly physical environment promotes having an orderly (and hence more effective) mental environment. It’ll help you find your stuff faster, think clearer about your work, lose things LESS often and feel much more in control.

For a post I did that goes way more in-depth about clutter, organization skills and more, click here.

Think again back to the movie Limitless. When Bradley Cooper first took that pill, what did he do? CLEAN UP and get his act together (dress, hygiene, etc.), because organization and personal care indicate self-direction and personal power.

In fact, you want to be somewhat territorial actually: you want to make any space you work at, chill at or whatever, YOURS (to the extent that other people can visually detect that). It’ll help you maintain this “I’m the master of my reality” mindset more conducive to accomplishment.

Leave Tasks Where They Belong

Just like you want your physical areas to be organized so your mind can be clear, you want your work-styles to be organized so your work can be efficient.

What I mean here is a couple things:

>> Take full breaks. When you’re resting, rest and when you’re working, work.

>> Only do certain work in certain places, so this way your subconscious automatically kicks into gear as you move around.

Always eat in a certain place, work in a certain place, sleep in a certain place, etc. etc. Control and systematize everything you do to the best of your ability…it sounds robotic, but it actually frees a lot of energy up to accomplish more things, because you no longer waste your willpower on menial tasks.

For instance, I always journal in my bedroom BEFORE I go to work (even though I could sneak it in if I wanted to), and I always read right before I eat.

Just don’t be so haphazard about where you do things. Structure your behavior just like you structure your environment, and it’ll help automate your mind to shift gears as you need to, instantly.

Be Specific

As a person, I’m realizing that as I get older, I tend to think (and speak) in more tangible and specific terms.

A few years ago I was waaaaay more philosophical (take a look at my early work online for examples). It was almost like I was afraid of reality, so I used my verbal skills to sound eloquent at saying nothing…that way nobody could hold me to any burden of proof, not even myself.

So don’t let this be you: when you communicate with other people, be specific and direct, and when you set goals for yourself, be detailed and concrete.

It’s hard at first, but the sooner you can do this, the sooner you can face the changes you need to make in life and get on track to actually start accomplishing things (which is a very addictive feeling).

Being measurable and exact is a good way to garner trust and build relationships too,. In fact, I now personally read someone that speaks too philosophically as a coward, and I’m not the only one who thinks like this, so be careful not to be too abstract…

Speak, plan and orient everything you do around FACTS, not metaphors, symbols, hints, gestures or wishes. The more physical you become, the more tangible, believable, and accomplish-able your words, plans and ideas will be…

Peace,
+B

3 Quick Tips to Get More Done, EVERYDAY…

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 18:30:27 +0000

Productivity is my core strength…while I have a lot I need to work on personally (just like everybody else), when it comes to getting things done, managing time, structuring plans and ideas, staying focused and self-discipline, I’m your man.

So here’s a few tips with brief elaborations to help you become more of a focused, disciplined and productive person. They’re all small, technical things you can do accomplish more of the things that are really important to you over time…

1. Write it All Down

In traditional goal-setting advice, they always suggest that you write your goals down, and the same thing applies to your daily plans. Treat an accomplished, productive day as a “goal” you want to accomplish in and of itself and strategize it out.

The idea here isn’t so much so that you don’t forget anything (or so that you have a plan to fall back on if things don’t work), but so that you can have mental clarity as you approach the day with.

Your brain isn’t naturally wired to remember things, so once you have a system (or a piece of paper) that you can trust to hold everything you need to recall, that frees up mental energy for those individual tasks.

I divide my life into subjects and then categorize each activity, but whatever you need to do, just get it out of your head to prevent “abstract distraction” (distraction on the mental level, which I’ll elaborate on later).

2. Plan it All the Night Before

…because that’ll give some subconscious boost power to the plan.

If I have something deep I need to work on the next day, I’ll always START IT the night before (like a rough draft or whatever) because that gives my mind another type of leverage over the work.

So plan things out the night before: not only will you have more creative ideas about how to do things better or more efficiently, but you’ll also save yourself the wasted energy of planning it out in the morning.

Instead of waking up and thinking “what do I have to do today?” you’ll wake up in attack mode. Do it…

3. Do ONE Thing A Day

Every goal we set is composed of what I call “conscious tasks” and “unconscious tasks.”

What I mean by those terms is that every time you set out to do something, you only estimate about 50% of the tasks involved.

Every time you set out to do something, you’re only conscious of about HALF of everything that you need to do to finally get it done.

>> Sometimes you make mistakes,

>> Sometimes you forget that you need to meet certain requirements or get certain materials,

>> Sometimes you do something right only to find out that you did something ELSE wrong…sometimes you need to go back, or do other things nobody told you about, etc. etc.

So by focusing on one big goal a day (aside from small errands of course), you free your mind up from the anxiety of not doing enough because task A took twice as long (or more) then you intended to

Subdivide big blocks of time (such as an entire afternoon, a couple of days or even an entire week) to one particular goal, and allow yourself to not worry about other things until one thing is squared away.

Tomorrow I’ll cover three more good tips to be more of a productive, action-oriented and disciplined person who actually accomplishes things. Stay tuned…

Peace,
+B

An Easy, Quick 4-Step Exercise for Greater Self-Confidence

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 18:06:05 +0000

“Without confidence, you’ve lost in the race of life…
with confidence, you’ve won even before you started.”
~ Marcus Mosiah Garvey

I keep quoting this brother, and although I hate to repeat myself, sometimes you need to in order to make sure a point sticks.

But you already know this, don’t you? You already know you need confidence and self-esteem in order to:

>> build healthy, strong relationships,
>> succeed at personal goals (like losing weight, starting a blog or whatever),
>> maintain your sense of self through the ups and downs of life (financial challenges or other stresses).
>> overcome (and AVOID) terrible things like depression and anxiety

…and much more, right?

Since you already do, let’s go ahead and delve right into the science. Here’s 4 quick and easy ways to build (and restore) your sense of self-confidence:

Tip 1: Make Distinctions

Think about (and if you like, write down) what confidence means to you. What do confident people do that unconfident people do not? What would you do differently if you were confident?

For instance, maybe you would find it easier to speak up for yourself, show your emotions, meet new people or (in the case of a male) approach women.

Tip 2: Define Beliefs

Write down three beliefs you hold about yourself which could be limiting your confidence.

Now, think of three beliefs you would rather have…beliefs that would empower you and bring you confidence. Cross out the limiting beliefs and write these empowering ones down in their place.

What would you have to do for these new beliefs to come true?

Project Yourself Mentally

Make yourself very comfortable (either sitting or lying down), close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and relax.

Allow yourself to imagine: what would it be like to be perfectly confident? What difference would it make in my life?

Let your mind drift for a few minutes, then open your eyes and write down everything that comes to mind. Keep this list: you have it in your power to experience all this eventually. Remember that whatever your mind can conceive and you can realize .

Role Play

…and by this I don’t mean the freaky kind, so get your mind out the gutter.

Simply commit yourself to behaving more confidently AS OF NOW, even if it feels like an act. Do what actors, musicians, politicians, celebrities and many others do all over the world – pretend like you’re confident even if you’re not.

For instance, calm your breath, stand upright, look people in the eye and speak with a clear, unwavering tone…you’ll feel more confident immediately.

So that’s it for now. If you’re really feeling this, and know it’s something you need to work on in-depth, check out my classic Blog Talk Radio episode, The Dynamics of HIGH SELF-ESTEEM

Peace,
+B

How to WAKE UP FASTER, part 2…

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 16:46:58 +0000

First, if you haven’t already, check out one of my latest videos on waking up earlier (with other motivational insights). It’s pretty dope, and got about 314 views so far :

Interestingly though, I didn’t get the type of response I was hoping for. Even though it’s a great video, I’m not sure the “just open your eyes” techniques works as good as it does for other people as it does for me.

So here’s a couple more quick tips to try out…let me know what you think

1: Do “Alert-State Associated” Things

For instance, if you wear glasses, be sure to keep them by your bed and put them on FIRST THING.

There’s something about having that clear vision that keeps you in an alert state. It’s almost like you immediately transition into that wakeful state of mind because that’s the state that your “glasses-vision” is connected to subconsciously.

It’s the inverse of taking your glasses off and immediately feeling sleepy (which happens to me all the time). Try it…

If you don’t wear glasses, just think about what activities are associated with being awake and do those immediately as you get up. If you take the time to think about this, you’ll come up with some good ideas.

Get Outdoors

Get outside into the elements as soon as you can as well, because being outside immediately puts you into a more alert state too.

I rent out a basement, so I have access to a small backyard, but if you live in a high-rise, go out on the balcony or just stick your head out the window. Do something…

The fresh air and just the feeling of being outside will help you pick up the pace. Trust me…

Waking Up Earlier vs. Sleeping Less

Also, on a deeper note, instead of thinking about waking up earlier or getting up faster, you can also consider sleeping LESS to begin with.

This is a sticky one for most people, but you can check out my post The Popular MYTH of 8-Hour Sleep for the back up and facts to support it. It’s something I used to be on A LOT back in the day, and I’m looking to get more back into it now.

Essentially, by doing things like:

>> drinking a lot of water

>> exercising throughout the day

>> taking brief power naps, and

>> being sure to get good sunlight.

…you can lesson the amount of “sleep cycles” you need to go through when you actually lie down at night.

See that classic post I mentioned earlier for more on this (and free, detailed eBook about it), and email me for any questions.

Peace,
+B

On Overcoming Loneliness, Poor Relationship Choices and More…

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 16:22:23 +0000

In Friday’s post I talked a lot about introversion: about how self-development is essentially an introverted process and EXPECTING yourself to eventually part with your current friends in order to grow and excel.

So learning how to handle loneliness is a big part of that of course, and it’s also something that’ll help you out TREMENDOUSLY in relationships.

A lot of people end up in unhappy, less-then-ideal relationship scenarios simply because they were unable to handle being alone. They settle for someone who doesn’t treat them like they deserve or rush into something with somebody incompatible because they can’t tolerate the emotional solitude that being single creates (even if you are casually dating).

Blaise Pascal, the French mathematician, once said, “All of man’s miseries stem from his inability to sit in a room by himself…”

Warren Buffet, the leading investment thinker, also once said, “My idea of a group decision is to look in the mirror…”

So here’s a key insight to help you avoid those miseries, get more comfortable coming to those types of group decisions and simply be okay during those times when you have to “roll dolo from state to state.”

The Difference Between Loneliness & Solitude

The difference between loneliness and solitude is knowing that having other people around you doesn’t VALIDATE you as a human being.

Whether anybody agrees with your way of life doesn’t change how intelligent you are…it doesn’t change how funny you are and it doesn’t change anything about you period.

It’s not even a validation of whether or not your ideas are valid, because all great ideas are DEVELOPED over time.

Now of course, we all need people: no man is an island unto himself and there’s no point in trying to live in a vacuum, but I believe that there are certain key times in our lives when we have to embrace solitude in order to become someone greater. (If you check out Friday’s post about self-development, you’ll learn how growing as a person sometimes requires us to play an introverted game.)

For instance, I’ve been online since 2007 (click here to see some of my early work) and it’s only NOW that I have people checking it out that I’m not already friends with (as in actual, pure readers that don’t know me).

That’s damn near 5 years of developing this baby until it got into it’s present form. In fact, when I first started this site, some of my friends accused me of being selfish for spending so much of my free time getting it all together…

Most People Don’t See

Most people don’t see the tree inside of a seed. Most people don’t see the grown man inside of a baby infant or the fortune to be made in a simple idea.

Most people just see the single seed, the cute kid or the silly concept, ignore it and go about their day. In my post on settling for less then the best you deserve, I said:

Technically, unless you have NO family and NO friends, you’re not really alone, even though you feel like it now…you FEEL alone because you believe somebody else is needed to VALIDATE you.

Part of our drive for a romantic relationship stems from the idea that unless we have something romantic going on, our lives are incomplete or, even worse, that we’re incomplete as a human being.…

We assume that if somebody’s single (especially as we get older), it’s BECAUSE something is wrong with them, not because they’re working on themselves, being patient for something truly worth the investment, or anything else, which is a messed up way to look at it.

If you realize any of this thinking in yourself (because I still realize some of it in me, even to this day), the thing to remember is that regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or not, you’re still the same great person.

ESPECIALLY keep this line of thought somewhere in your register as you go about this self-development, inner-growth and goal-setting thing. You are YOU, and you don’t need anyone around you to change or validate that inherent value you have.

Also check out the blog posts on settling for less then what you deserve, how to step outside of your comfort zone and being ahead of your time and not letting other people slow you down for more…

Peace,
+B

K.I.S.S: Key Ideas for Self-Development Simplicity, pt. 2

Bryan Ogilvie — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 18:18:27 +0000

(NOTE: This is a continuation of yesterday’s post, which you should read first.)

Key Idea #2: Roll Dolo from State to State

There’s this scene in the movie Belly where Method Man’s character is in Nebraska, and when the drug lords ask him why he’s by himself he says: “I roll dolo from state to state!!! Word up…”

…laughing with a big smile on his face, completely comfortable as if there’s nothing awkward about the idea.

So whereas he meant he moved from state to state physically, when it comes to personal growth, you’re moving from state to state mentally, and you’re doing it BY YOURSELF. (That’s why it’s called “personal” growth…deep, right?)

The path of developing as a person is essentially an introverted process: it’s an introvert’s game that requires skill and comfort in an introvert’s way of life.

If you think about it, whenever someone goes to a counselor, a spiritual guru, a psychiatrist or whatever, what do they encourage them to do? Right! They tell them to be more introverted.

They ask them questions about WHY they did what they did and what certain events in their past MEAN to them. They tell them to do things like journal, pray, meditate, etc. etc.

Since self-development is simply the constructive use of your introverted tendencies, the key idea here is to re-orient your thinking to realize introversion as a positive thing. Let me prove it to you:

Self-Development Requires Self-Direction

I remember reading something somewhere that said, “While extroverts are better at thriving in a social context, introverts are better at making choices and decisions for themselves and finding their own direction in life.”

So your choice to grow as a person is a path you made for yourself that places you AGAINST THE GRAIN: the reason there isn’t a lot around to support that drive is because there aren’t a lot of people around to even detect you on that frequency.

A friend told me yesterday that her favorite line in the post about conquering social anxiety was, “…you and I are both introverts: the 25% of the population that doesn’t get catered to by social customs.”

You have to remember this, and you have to remember that because your mind is in a different space, you can’t just communicate everything about it’s progress openly. The other thing is that…

You’re Friends Won’t Change, But YOU’LL Change Friends

Like attracts like, so if you wanted to…

>> develop new habits and productivity skills for your goals,

>> start eating healthier on a daily basis,

>> stop wasting money on things you no longer enjoy,

>> create deeper bonds with “deeper” kind of people,

…if you wanted to do all that AND keep your same friends, you’d have to convince them to all get on the same page with you at the same time (and relatively at the same pace), which is a statistical impossibility.

When I was young I used to change friend groups constantly.

I remember being in elementary school and having friends that were SERIOUSLY into video games and Japanese anime…I mean have the latest issue of Game Informer magazine out on the table during lunch.

So around 5th/6th grade, when I started noticing girls more (and they started noticing me), something clicked in my mind and said, “Bryan…this isn’t going to work.”

You ever have one of those moments where you zoom out and see the game a group of people are playing? It was like a flash of insight from Holy Black Jesus that came and said:

“This is the script their choosing to live out…it doesn’t matter if they’re missing out on other good things, because this is where they get their meaning from.”

The interesting thing about self-deception and self-limitation is that it’s not just a personal phenomenon: we deceive ourselves not just individually, but in our relationships, in our families, as communities and as entire nations as well.

When people come together in groups, they form a collective psyche analogous to the individual one, so the blocks and limitations we experience in our own thinking are a metaphor for the blocks and limitations we experience when we operate as a whole.

But someone who’s developing is someone who’s always challenging the perimeter of their consciousness, so you have to accept that that doesn’t work out to well in group settings.

I stopped kicking it with my video-game friends meet guys who would engage with girls, and then I eventually stopped kicking it with THEM to meet guys who were less danger-prone (not the street type so much).

THEN I went away to school and had a musical peer-group that transferred into an activist peer-group, etc. etc. ad infinitum to this day.

In case you’re wondering, the REAL friends always stay with you, and meet you at that developed point later on from their own paths…

Just remember, you’re rolling dollo from state to state, and forming new relationships is a vital part of that navigation.

So try to keep this line of thought somewhere in your register at all times. Also check out the blog on getting out of your comfort zones and being ahead of your time

Peace,
+B

Your Desire to Grow is a SACRED GIFT: Key Ideas for Keeping Self-Development Simple and Satisfying…

Bryan Ogilvie — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 16:14:50 +0000

When I was in grade school, there was this gifted child program called “More Able Learners” (MAL), and I loved it.

It was an accelerated learning course for kids deemed to be “advanced” (I think all kids are advanced, but whatever) where we all came together to learn advanced stuff:

>> stock market basics and simulation,

>> brain teasers and riddles,

>> computer programs and even

>> the subtle psychological ploys of modern-day advertising.

I’m saying this because I think of my blog (and personal growth as a whole) in a similar way…I look at anyone trying to develop themselves, anyone trying conscientiously to raise their thinking to the next level in order to bring about changes in their life, as a special type of person who needs to be honored.

What I want you do to is HONOR that in yourself: treat your desire to grow as a sacred gift that needs a special type of attention in order to flourish and grow.

So here’s a few true but not-so obvious, intuitive but not-so-easy-to-remember key ideas to keep with you…

Key Idea #1: Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop

I’ve been serious about becoming a better person for at least 9 years now, and STILL have issues…I mean maaaaaad issues.

I wrote a pretty dope article on dating advice a while back, but I’m still learning TON about women to this day.

I wrote another piece on self-deception that got 500+ likes the other day, and still catch myself playing games now, and I’m pretty well-known for the video series I did on health and nutrition, but I’m still trying to get my act together in those regards too.

It’s funny: I think people see the work I do online (how consistent I am with it and everything) and assume that I’m some super-developed, on-point guy, but the reality is I’m just another cat trying to figure things out like everybody else.

I’m really just sharing the things I learn about myself as I learn and overcome them. The only reason why I’m able to churn out so much material is cause I’m always figuring things out about myself…it’s really more of a de-personalized journal.

But what I’m getting at here is that the journey is eternal: you’ll never hit a point where you feel like you’ve “made it,” so learn to enjoy the process more so then the actual results.

You have to look at this whole self-development thing like a video game: when you reach the end of a level, you have fight a difficult boss, and even when you beat that boss, you move on to another, MORE difficult level with an even more difficult boss after that…

The skills you learned on one stage are what you use to leverage yourself in order to conquer the next, and the challenge is what makes it fun (if you don’t take the game seriously).

Similarly, the better you get at:

>> keeping yourself motivated and managing your time,

>> taking care of body and eating healthy,

>> Your emotional well-being and why you feel the way you do,

…or anything else cool and interesting that helps you in life, the deeper this rabbit hole goes. You don’t really notice the growth until you look back over the long term and say, “Damn…I’ve come a long way.”

Don’t Get Discouraged

So don’t get discouraged. I remember talking to this girl one day and she said:

“I don’t see the point. No matter how much you try to improve yourself, you’re always going to find something about yourself that you don’t like, so you’ll always feel inadequate, so why even bother???”

Don’t think like that. Don’t feel down because you’re not where you want to be, because even when you get there your going to want to be somewhere ELSE again (it’s human nature to seek to improve).

Instead, look back and think about where you WOULD be if you never started to introspect, read, reflect, learn, try new routines and open your mind to new ways of living in the first place.

Me??? I’d be like another one of these young cats walking around with their pants sagging off their behind with no grooming, no manners and no ambition.

(I’m serious…that was me at one point in time, so don’t underestimate any of the young brothers you see out there. You never know what they might go through or where they might be in 5-10 years.)

So again, when it comes to personal growth, think “can’t stop, won’t stop.” The journey is eternal, and you have to constantly re-ground your thinking in an evolutionary perspective, not so much ends-and-results.

Key Idea #2: Roll Dolo from State to State

There’s this scene in the movie Belly where Method Man’s character is in Nebraska, and when the drug lords ask him why he’s by himself he says:

“I roll dolo from state to state!!! Word up…”

…laughing with a big smile on his face, completely comfortable as if there’s nothing awkward about the idea.

The path of developing as a person is essentially an introverted process: it’s an introvert’s game that requires skill and comfort in an introvert’s way of life.

If you think about it, whenever someone goes to a counselor, a spiritual guru, a psychiatrist or whatever, what do they encourage them to do? Right! They tell them to be more introverted.

They ask them questions about WHY they did what they did and what certain events in their past MEAN to them. They tell them to do things like journal, pray, meditate, etc. etc. I remember reading something somewhere and it was like…”

…more tomorrow. Check back in and we’ll continue right where we left off.

Peace,
+B

Q&A Session on Overcoming Comfort Zones, Social Anxiety, Differences Between Men and Women, etc., etc.

Bryan Ogilvie — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 16:34:50 +0000

Question On Comfort Zones

“Peace…do you have any articles on the topic of comfort zones? I’d like to hear your perspective on the matter.

I recently spoke to one of my friends about my feeling alienated because I don’t go out to clubs, don’t drink, smoke, watch sports or tv for that matter and other lifestyle choices of mine. I told her I’m thinking about starting to go out and watching tv to be more versatile, because one of my focuses this year is to further incorporate qualities in my character.

Her perspective was that even if I went, I couldn’t change what I don’t like and that I’d basically be compromising myself and be trying to fit in. She also believes that we have comfort zones for a reason and shouldn’t try to force comfort.

She had a good point. Now, I’m always one for increasing comfort zones, but while visualizing, I don’t ever see myself actually growing to like the club scene, or any of that stuff. I would, be in fact, just compromising. My goal is to be a versatile person. I’m open to new things and what not, but not everything I like.

I guess versatility can be interpreted so many ways as well. Some people see it as being competent in many different things, some see it as being open to many different things and still others see it as being comfortable in many different settings.

What’s your opinion on the matter?”

My Response

First thing, I don’t smoke, drink (I do like wine though), watch sports or TV either, and, like you, I also went through a time where I truly believed that my best bet was to duplicate what I saw other people doing.

Essentially, I looked at my originality as a DEFICIENCY, and I tied it into a rationale as to why I wasn’t getting the results I wanted in life.

In fact, I spent a good portion of my childhood PRETENDING to be somebody I wasn’t…following others and pretending to enjoy things that, in my heart of hearts, I knew were unhealthy, destructive and pointless.

Everything from how I used to spend my free time to how I used to approach women was all engineered from a standpoint of what I thought would give me acceptance and respect.

So your friend has a valid point: you’re you, and trying to be someone other then who you are is a waste of time and a dishonor to your true nature, but check this: your desire to become a more versatile, more capable and more influential person IS NOT, and you have to remember that that’s an inherently male desire.

Have you seen the movie Limitless with Robert De Niro? One of the most interesting things that stood out to me in that film was how it was only males who really wanted to take the clear pill.

If you pay attention to it, you’ll notice that even when a female character takes the pill (like Bradley Cooper’s ex-wife, or his girlfriend played by Abbie Cornish), they hit a point where they KNOW they need to get off it.

Whenever a male character takes the pill however, his primary concerns is, “Where am I going to get my next hit?”

Men, Women & Inherent Drives

So what I’m saying here is that while your female friend’s advice – to be confident in who you naturally are – is valid, it doesn’t necessarily satisfy your masculine need for power, dominance, control, which you have to honor in order to become better at engaging the world.

I may be wrong here, but when I hear you say “become a more versatile” what I really hear underlying that is “become more capable in the social world,” …be comfortable and skillful enough to do ANYTHING you want in a social context, whether that’s networking, dating, leadership or whatever.

Now when I say that’s an inherently male desire, I don’t mean that women CAN’T (or don’t) have it, simply that it speaks more to a man’s natural drive than to a woman’s.

There’s a lot of talk nowaday’s about gender identity, women’s equality, etc. etc., and I think it’s great that women are seeking more power, independence and equality, but I also think there’s a difference between being equal and being IDENTICAL.

Think about it: why is that, as a whole, women are into things like soap operas and romance novels and men are into things like sports and DragonBall Z???

My theory is that it’s because our brains are wired differently. Women’s brains are wired in a way that makes them skillful at understanding people and managing relationships, men’s brains in a way that makes them skillful at setting goals and independent success.

So you have to keep this in mind when you’re asking for advice. Generally speaking, I talk to women when I have a question about dating and relationships and men when I have a question about pushing myself to the next level…

You Have to Play Your Strengths Up

Essentially, you and I are both introverts…the 25% of the population that doesn’t get catered to by social customs.

Things like clubs and partying, drinking and smoking and other “wild life” activities don’t speak to us, because we’re too scientific for that.

This doesn’t mean we’re “better” then anybody, only that we look deeper into what things mean then the average person, and that’s our particular strength. (It can actually be good OR bad, depending on how you use it.)

For more on this idea, check out this video lecture on personality types, or this book on living a successful, introverted life.

But what I’m getting at here is that you have to look at your introversion itself as a unique strength, and find ways to be socially relevant with that proficiency. Here’s some examples:

1.) Take yoga or dance classes,
2.) Start a book club or meditation group,
3.) Give lectures at your apartment,
4.) Go to a library or museum and look at the event calender for more ideas

…get where I’m going with this? Find introverted things to do that’ll help push you out of your comfort zones, and in the event that there aren’t any, CREATE THEM.

You’ll feel more comfortable (so you’ll be in your element) and it’ll magnetize the type of people you’d naturally be attractive (and attracted) to.

Learn to master your environment ON YOUR OWN TERMS and in ways that give you personal leverage

Hope this helps…don’t forget to check out that film – I’ll be mentioning it in the next newsletter.

Peace,
+B

A Great Lecture on Building Success, Self-Esteem, Leadership, Activism and More…

Bryan Ogilvie — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 15:02:08 +0000

Here’s a great video I found the other day about self-esteem, long term success, leadership, using your mind in ways that empower you and more…

You’ll find him echoing a few of the concepts I made in classic posts like Ego-Tripping: How, When & Why “Feeling Yourself” Can Actually Be a GOOD THING and, taking it even further back, How Self-Development & Community Development Are One and The Same Thing. Enjoy:

(*see the entire video series here)

Peace,
+B

How to AVOID Self-Development Scams…

Bryan Ogilvie — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 16:44:47 +0000

I was exchanging ideas with a good friend of mine yesterday, and he asked me a GREAT question…something along the lines of:

“B, you did a dope post the other day about the self-help industry having a lot of scams…something called Is the Self-Help Industry a SHAM??? (“Deceptive Intelligence” at it’s Worst…) Being that self-development HAS become a commercial industry…being that most of the material is engineered for profit, not for actually helping people, how do you know when you’re dealing with the real deal or not???

For more on this scam on how it works, click here. For answers on what to do about it, read below…

1: Know That Real Self-Development HURTS

Real self-help material is not the intellectual equivalent of some feel-good movie, real self-development HURTS.

Just like physical exercise hurts in order to develop your body, self-development is mental exercise that hurts in order to develop your thinking process and emotional strength.

For some odd reason though, although we know that being healthier, more fit or better coordinated in a physical sense requires pain and effort, we don’t apply that same common sense to the other areas of life, and the self-help scam caters to that delusion.

The bottom line is, if you want to change your behaviors, you have to change your THOUGHTS (more specifically, your subconscious beliefs), and real self-help work helps guide you through that process.

So anything that promises quick fixes or immediate results should raise a red flag in your mind.

And if at least 40-50% of what you’re doing to make more money, create better relationships or get your health back in order doesn’t push you out of your comfort zone, re-examine your study materials and action plan.

2: READ, Don’t Just Listen and Watch

This is a big one, so I’ll try to cover it quickly. Basically, reading activates your intelligence at a deeper level then listening to an audio or watching a video (which is why I recommend scrolls all the time).

Ever notice how when you listen to something rather then watch it visually you pick up a little more?

Ever watch a movie based on a book you loved and feel like the film destroyed the whole experience?

That’s because your imagination and critical thinking become LESS involved the MORE involved the medium of communication. The sounds and visual content distract you from the information…too much of your attention will go to the quality of somebody’s voice, their body language, the background scenery, etc. etc. and not the actual ideas.

Nine times out of 10, we prefer the visual over the literary because WE’RE LAZY: it’s just easier to sit down and watch a video then to read a few paragraphs of the same stuff, and when we see a few blocks of text, our minds immediately go Oh God…I don’t want to read all this.” and move on.

The trick here is to dis-associate reading from labor in your own mind. Keep forcing yourself to read, read and read some more until you realize that it’s not that bad at all, and in fact, takes LESS effort (and is more efficient) than watching video.

You’ll learn more, have more insights, develop yourself faster and become a more well read person because of it.

3: Take it Back to the Old-School

Truth be told, this self-development scam is a relatively new thing. I’d say it’s been around for at least 40 years, but it’s only permeated the game to the extent that it does now for the last 10 or 15.

Just like with hip-hop music, we’ve ALWAYS had flakes and sell-outs trying to make a quick dollar, but it’s only recently that the game itself has become a an outright fraud.

If you take it back to the roots (or anything before 2000, really), you’ll find that the concentration was a lot more pure then it is now, and you’ll also see where a lot of this new stuff comes from.

So, as a metaphor, make sure you have a few classics in your library, like:

>> How to Build Your Mate’s Self-Esteem by Dennis & Barbara Rainey (originally came out in 1948)
>> Black Folk’s Guide to Making Big Money in America by George Trower-Subira (originally 1980, I think)
>> African Holistic Health by Dr. Liala Afrika (the FOURTH edition came out in 1993, I think, so that tells you how far back this one goes)

So that’s it for now. In essence, to avoid self-development scams, make sure that you’re reading, make sure that you’re reading the old-school greats, and, most of all, make sure that you’re challenging yourself…

Peace,
+B

PUT YOURSELF FIRST, Because It’s YOUR Life (Practical Advice for Attaining Personal Power)

Bryan Ogilvie — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 16:03:52 +0000

Today’s technique is to STOP FIREFIGHTING, and by that I mean stop allowing your energy to be dictated to the random problems and dramas other people throw your way.

Former Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak once said:

“I cannot and will not accept to be dictated orders from the outside, no matter what the source is and no matter what the excuses or justifications are….”

Truth be told, they did nab his behind out of there about 2 days after he said this (and of course I’m not trying to suggest anything political to you), but the point still stands.

There’s something in that quote that represents an attitude, a certain approach to the world where a man PRIORITIZES what his actions and goals or going to be for himself…

Look for the Jewels in EVERYTHING

Mubarak also once said, “I will not separate from the soil until I’m buried underneath it…”

I look for self-development ideas and motivation in EVERYTHING now (from political events to random cartoons) and to me, here the “soil” metaphorical represents your principles: the goals, values, dreams and ambitions you’re grounded in and your life is about.

There’s certain things in your life that only YOU can make happen, so you shouldn’t let anyone or anything separate you from that until you’re buried underneath it (as in “it’s settled and accomplished”).

Don’t let anyone prevent you from getting satisfaction out of your own life, because – as far as we can prove – you only get one shot.

Don’t let anyone dictate to you what’s possible, what makes
sense or what direction you should be headed towards.

And on a practical, day to day level, don’t let other people randomly interrupt you from tasks that’ll take you where you want to go. Set the agenda for yourself PROACTIVELY, and fit other people around that.

Establish a Healthy, Personal Boundary

There’s a clear line line between your responsibilities (like a child or a utility bill) and somebody else’s (like proofreading their complaint letters to some soccer league president), so maintain and honor that distinction.

In fact, you’re goals ARE your responsibilities, we’re just so used to letting other people’s drama foreshadow over them that we don’t pay attention anymore.

One of the techniques I mentioned in an audio lesson a while back was to have a friend bother you like a bill collector about your progress until you actually succeed (or establish the habit).

There should also be some consequence in there, something funny enough to not take seriously but annoying enough to make you want to actually avoid it, like cleaning the other person’s bathroom…

I could go on about stuff like this for days, so for more, just check out the blog post itself, called HOW TO BRING YOUR GOALS TO LIFE: The 4 Dimensions of Focused Success.

But again, today’s main idea is to STOP FIREFIGHTING. Prioritize and take care of your responsibilities first, and establish a goal setting routine that forces other people to respect (and support) your success.

Peace,
+B