Healing the Shame that Binds You…
Currently I’m reading a book called “Healing the Shame that Binds You” by John Bradshaw….it’s helping me to process the guil and remorse I’ve had for years for how I’ve treated others in the past.
I’m sure you’ve noticed that I haven’t been blogging AT ALL recently (and haven’t put a new video up in months). Part of that is because of the deep-seated shame I feel towards myself.
Sometimes I feel like “Who am I share advice?” or “What makes me a person to look up to?” because I’m not always the caring person I should be to the people who matter most, and I’m not sure I can ever fully atone for the things I’ve done.
Advice from a Friend…
My friend (or, someone I hope will still be my friend) says that I should show more of my vulnerable side with my readership online, and what I’ve realized is that I don’t share my vulnerable side in life PERIOD (personal and professional problems tend to overlap like that)…
In that respect, here’s a poem I wrote on Sunday. One thing I do when I’m feeling low is spend time in solitude, and I put this down during that session. What’s deep is how I found the book randomly about 2 hours AFTER I wrote this…it’s called “There’s 2 Sides to Every Mistake”
“There’s 2 Sides to Every Mistake.”
“None of us have clean hands/
Atone for your guilt through the unfoldment of your wingspan…
Your drama is self-inflicted like a strategized game/
Why magnetize pain when you can satisfy brains?
You can’t rise or gain thinking you don’t deserve it/
But if your logic was consistent then the entire world is worthless…
Now would you give up on this planet Sun?/
You’re like a mini-God but when will you understand it Sun…
You’re only where you’re at cause others blessed you with a lesson/
Where would you be if those cats let there own mistakes arrest them?
Does Mother Nature apologize for a tsunami?/
When earthquakes shatter a city, you hear sorry???
Man’s heart and man’s soul carries a heavy weight/
(Where) Pain transfers to all things he undertakes…/
He rarely sees there’s 2 sides to every mistake,/
I said there’s 2 sides to every mistake…
Remorse is like torture in a mental state
The guilt will show itself as you elevate/
You have to see there’s 2 sides to every mistake/
I said there’s 2 sides to every mistake…”