How & Why Most People IMPRISON THEMSELVES: Find Out Now So It Doesn’t Happen to You…
People imprison themselves by refusing to “leave the jail cell” of their conditioned thought patterns and behavior.
As the classic author James Allen once said: “Men are anxious to change their circumstances, but hesitant to change themselves…they therefore remain bound.”
And he’s right about that, because the essential nature of self-discipline is PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.
The bottom line is that you’ll never go too far with your goals, relationships or personal health if your first response to a challenge is, “Okay, let me go out and change this thing,” or “Look, it’s because this other person has this a problem why things went wrong.” you’re playing a losing game
Don’t Project, Blame or Allocate Responsibility
Trust me, I’ve studied A LOT of personal development material over the years, and all of the experts say the same thing: that if you want to start getting different results, you have to start engaging in different behaviors…
In that same time, I’ve also been vegetarian for about 6 years, had a good amount of (what I consider to be) satisfying relationships, a strong history in activist work and a fair amount of progress and success publishing information online.
I’m not saying this to brag about myself, just to say that I know what I’m talking about, and that it all comes from me analyzing and interrogating myself and interrogating MYSELF, not from thinking that I know too much to be wrong, or that my ideals about how the world should work are anything else but exactly that…IDEALS.
If you want to grow, when things go wrong, LOOK TO YOURSELF and think about what YOU could of done differently to fix the situation (or how your underlying worldview about how something, like relationships, works is faulty). Just trust me.
Don’t project either: This is me talking to you about YOU, not anybody else you know that this might apply to.
You can’t change the world around you with direct, immediate physical force; you can only adapt and transform yourself so as to consequent different results.
In this way, your experience is a reflection of who you internally are, and to the extent that you’re avoiding this truth, you’re imprisoning yourself to the external environment. You’re giving your power away (because responsibility IS power…think Spider-Man) to parameters over which you have no control.
James Whitaker (the first American to successful climb Mount Everest) once said, “You never conquer a mountain, because mountains can’t be conquered; you only conquer yourself.” and that’s an extremely insightful point:
When you accomplish something, the thing itself did not change, YOU DID in order to accomplish it.
The man who climbed a mountain CLIMBED a mountain (the mountain itself did not change),
The man who created a successful business CREATED a successful business (the economic environment itself did not change to adapt to him),
…so on and so forth. Accept this as common sense and apply it to your life as often as possible.
So if every time things go wrong, you tend to allocate fault (focus on what another person did wrong or why a situation isn’t fair), STOP.
In fact, whenever you catch yourself in the act, hold your wrist together as if they were bound by cuffs and then force them apart as if you were breaking free and say “I take responsibility.”
Begin with the small things (why the garbage wasn’t taken out, why there was a mis-communication or anything else inconsequential…my pet peeves list has good examples) and the larger things will take care of themselves. Also, stay away from people who whine and complain because negative energy is infectious.
If you want to turn things around in your life, start by accepting reality the way it is. Stop deceiving yourself about why you have the problems you do, and then from there, work on letting go of your old habits, faulty paradigms and other negative tendencies so that you can evolve into what your particular situation demands of you.