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The TWO MAJOR MISTAKES of Self-Development…

3 May 2011 No Comment

African american woman thinking

What I mean here isn’t necessarily mistakes of the self-development INDUSTRY, but two major mistakes of self-development PEOPLE…mistakes we tend to make as we pursue becoming better on the inside and out.

Let’s break both of them down now. It’ll be a quick read, so leave a comment at the end letting me know what you think.

Mistake #1: Forgetting Self-Development is a DEVELOPMENTAL Process

african american male hugging tree in naturewhich sounds kind of obvious, like “Of course it’s a developmental process…it’s self-development

But what I mean is operating under the assumption that you’re developing yourself towards some final result: working on yourself to ACHIEVE something, gain something, or reach some ideal state of perfection, rather than working on yourself as part of an infinite process. The first mistake is using self-development as a means to an end rather than a way of life. (It’s something I tend to forget all the time).

The reality is you’re never going to hit a point where you don’t have problems. I’ve been seriously focused on bettering myself for 7 years and I still have issues, and the most developed people that I know are the people who are most in tune with what their issues are not the people who pretend they don’t have any.

You Need to Get Out Of The Habit…

So what’s unfortunate is that most of us who study self-development are in the habit of thinking that we’re one day going to “arrive.” Underlying you’re drive to improve yourself may be the illusion that one day:

>> you’re no longer going to have situations and problems,
>> you’re no longer going to have personal issues,
>> you’re no longer going to have things about yourself or your life that you dislike…feeling like things aren’t optimal for your potential or intellect level

…but THAT’S THE CONSTANT. The “development” is something you realize as you look back over time, not a destination you’re going to reach and just stagnate at. Thinking that you’re going to develop yourself to a point where you don’t need to develop anymore is like thinking you’re going work professionally to a point where you don’t need to work anymore either.

Did you know that even when it comes to people who retire (those that are lucky enough to, anyway), those that stay happy and keep their “zest for life” are the people who find something to occupy themselves with even if it’s not an “occupation”???

the males of an african american family

You find Elders writing novels, starting community groups, fighting breast-cancer or whatever partly because they know that if they don’t keep pushing themselves – if they don’t keep learning, growing and striving to accomplish something – they can end up physically, emotionally and mentally “off.”

Life is work, life is a process, life is development and life is CONSTANT. So get used to “having issues” and situations that you need to transcend, be proud of how much you’ve grown and changed thus far, and log in tomorrow to check out major mistake #2


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