Your World Serves as a Reflection of Your Own Psychology…
The first thing I want to say is that this post really isn’t for YOU pers se, cause I know you know this stuff already. It’s “for you” only as (1) a reminder to keep you in the right frame of mind and (2) as verbal ammunition – or facebook wall-post ammunition – to get the right idea across to the person in your life who needs to hear it. Let’s get started…
“One of my spiritual beliefs is that a man’s world serves as a reflection to his own psychology, meaning that the positives we notice in other people are, at a deeper level, signs indicating our own strengths and the character traits we can realistically aspire towards.
The corollary to that however is that the negatives we notice in other people also indicate our own faults, and in some cases, the “final destination” our current behavior is leading us towards.
Why Learn This Style of Thought???
I like thinking like this because it encourages me to spend LESS time criticizing or condemning other people as and more time simply OBSERVING them while reflecting on how their strengths and weaknesses relate back (or can relate back) to me.
(Even Confucius once said: “When we see men of worth, we should think of equaling them; when we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves…”)
Once you master this style of thinking, you get leverage over your limitations you’d otherwise never parallel. If you DON’T learn this style of thinking, you get other people’s anger, disrespect and hurtful actions consuming you and destroying your quality of life.
Another bad thing happens when you don’t do this: you’ll get intimidated at times when you should be uplifted. Instead of “seeing men of worth and thinking of equaling them,” – thinking of how to absorb their power into your own (like Rogue from the X-men) – you’ll just sit their and wonder what’s wrong with you.
Know that even though I have a “self-development” blog, in real life, I don’t spend my time and energy telling other people who they should be or how they should think. In most cases, I’m just the silent observer. I think you should do the same because it allows you to find much more opportunities in life while sheltering your personal experience from hurt, loss and unnecessary sacrifices.
Be a “Detective Psychologist”
A big key to this is being what I call a “detective psychologist”: being obsessed with understanding how success-prone, positive people think as well as how failure-prone, negative people think. A detective psychologist is able to delineate between these two types and articulate those differences consciously.
You can do this generally (as in “Why are some people generally optimistic while others are pessimistic?”) or more specifically (“Why are some people always broke or in debt whereas others always seem to have cash on them?”), but the point is to START DOING IT.
For instance: I’ve found that someone who stays focused and manages their time IS that way because they believe in the purpose of what they’re doing and they enjoy the tasks involved. Someone who stays procrastinating and only manages their laziness IS that way because they misunderstand what their work means (that it may “expose” their *assumed* lack of personal value to the world, for instance).
Someone who’s a good communicator is generally concerned with what the person he’s talking to understands, while someone who’s a poor communicator is generally more concerned with what the person he’s talking to perceives about HIM personally.
We could go on for days (people with consistently high-quality relationships want to build their partner up, people with consistently low-quality relationships want a partner for their own selfish gratification, etc. etc.) but I think you see what I mean…
Point is, don’t be too focused on just, “learning from other people’s mistakes,” (which is good too), but more so on exploring the psychology that motivates other people’s behavior and attracts their experiences, and seeing how that reflects and corresponds with your own thinking.
“Learning from other’s mistakes” implies, “Oh, he did X so I gotta make sure to NEVER do that…” (it’s simplistic).
“Reflection” implies, “Oh, he did ‘X’ because he sees situations like ‘Y’, and really, I do that too sometimes, in my own way, because I also ‘Z’…I need to chill.” (it’s more intricate and leads to actionable insights).
Remember, a man’s world serves as a reflection to his own psychology. Take care and let me know what you think anytime…