You’re Unique, So the First Thing You Need to Do Is…
…ACCEPT THAT YOU WON’T BE ACCEPTED.
Here’s another “resurrection” (old-school post) from a facebook note I did back in early December. Peep the original response:
There’s an important message here, so YOU NEED TO CHECK THIS OUT IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY, and if you have, see this as an opportunity to review. It’ll only take a few minutes, and you’ll be glad you did…
———— Building w/ a Close Friend ————
BRYAN: “…so they gave me a lot of ‘beef,’ if you will, about being vegetarian, and I saw that as what you would refer to in psychology as “cognitive dissonance“…it’s what happens when you see something that challenges your way of thinking about things and you disagree with it simply because it challenges you to think, not because you actually disagree with it…
In the back of your mind, it actually makes you feel like, ‘okay, if such and such is wrong, then something must be wrong with me for believing in it,‘ so you argue and get emotional to cover up that inner-conflict.
People don’t like the idea of being wrong, y’know what I’m saying? Especially when your self-image isn’t that positive, you tend to be sensitive…(so, as a form of psychological self-defense,) people shut out the ideas that challenge them (to re-examine themselves)…
So when you start talking about certain things – OR TAKING ACTIONS TO ADVANCE YOURSELF – it makes the people around you very conscious of what they’re doing as well.
Ever seen a drug addict trying to clean himself up??? Half the time, it’s his closest friends that are the ones working to keep him on drugs…they ridicule his effort like, ‘You ain’t about s___, you ain’t quitting nothing.’
They do their best to keep him around the same circles, cause if he cleans himself up, it makes it obvious to them that they need to clean themselves up too. It’s gonna make them feel worse about their situation, see what I’m saying? So that’s how I see it…”
MY FRIEND: “That’s a pretty good comparison man…it’s exactly what’s happening.”
BRYAN: “It’s the same thing, and it was ill man because, day in and day out, I used to get a lot of hassle about it (becoming vegetarian)…but now, they’re the ones having health problems, and sometimes they’re the ones coming to me for answers and my thoughts about things…
Now it’s like ‘okay, I guess you were right,’ – five, six years down the line – ‘I guess you were right.’ So I use that as a reference point for what’s going on now.” (Imagine what would’ve happened if I listened to them and never went for it.)
MY FRIEND: “And sometimes people will still mask the fact that they were wrong, y’know what I’m saying? They’ll find a way to acknowledge that you were right without saying that they were wrong.
I don’t like when that happens either…I let it rock (and don’t say anything), but I feel like people need be more open-minded to everything.”
BRYAN: “Yeah man, that’s the whole thing, and my sister-in-law broke something down to me the other day that was kinda deep…(background story and overview of a religious debate.)
….so then she said something real deep – she was like, ‘Yknow, truth is a privilege: your ideas and your intellectual understandings are a reflection of your soul, and when you just share that with people freely, they don’t really value it…’”
Now of course, everyone has a right to know the truth in a general sense, but when it comes to your own personal truth – the way I see it – there’s only certain people that you can open up all of yourself to, and you should understand that some people simply aren’t capable of comprehending where you’re at.
Don’t get me wrong, I feel that we’re all equal, and I feel that everyone has a divine spark deep down inside of them, so even if what you’re saying isn’t getting through to somebody, at least it’s there for them to claim it later on if they want to.
But when it comes to your grand vision and the fundamental changes you need to make, most people won’t understand you because you’re coming from an entirely different framework.
It’s like a double edged sword: sharing your individuality with the world is powerful, but at times, you have to play the background and not debate with people on certain things or try to “put them on,” because all they’ll do is throw doubt into the equation.
BRYAN: …so that’s what I talk about in that section of the chapter. The thing is, once people get to know you, they form ideas about who you are, but if you’re about progress, then you’re constantly…
MY FRIEND: CHANGING! Yes…
B: Right, you’re constantly learning and expanding.
F: That’s a clear ass message…
B: So for the people who’ve known you for a while, you’re going to become an unknown to them. It’s going to be uncomfortable for them because people are uncomfortable dealing with what they don’t understand…like they talked about in the X-men.
So in a sense, you’re progress can be jeopardized by the people in your past and present. (Since most people are resistant to change – whether positive or negative – you have to accept that you won’t be accepted and move on.)
(This is) not to say that you can’t deal with them or build with them at all, but generally, my experience has shown me that as I change, my friends change…as I change my environment changes, and I get people and circumstances that are more conducive to where I want to go.
It doesn’t mean that they’re bad people and it doesn’t mean I don’t have love for them, it just means that I’m trying to go in a direction that they’re not, and it’s as simple as that.
So it’s the same thing with…”
———— Concluding Notes ————-
Joe Budden’s on the same tip:
You can catch an archive of other great facebook notes here
I’ll review the original audio recording of this later today to see if there’s anything else good to transcribe (might even put the raw recording up). More coming soon…
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>> Check out the facebook fan page for “Today’s Transcendence”
>> Mind-Mapping: The #1 Creativity Technique for Producing Great Ideas FAST…